Colbert to ABC: ‘I accept your surrender’

Stephen Colbert last night on the changes at ABC’s Nightline, which airs in the same timeslot:

“Before we get the show rolling tonight, ABC just announced that they’re yanking Ted Koppel as the host of Nightline and replacing him with three anchors. Well you know what ABC? You’re over-reacting. The Colbert Report has only been on the air for one day. For you to panic and pull Koppel, I mean Nightline has been a model of journalistic integrity for 25 years. I would have thought you had the guts to tough it out. Although, I accept your surrender.

“So who’s replacing Koppel? ABC’s chief White House correspondent Terry Moran, Primetime Live co-anchor Cynthia McFadden, and celebrity scandal whore Martin Bashir. Nothing against these guys, but they’ve all shown their colors.

“Moran had a chance to snatch back Elian Gonzales and didn’t have the cojones to do it. McFadden cut her teeth covering the O.J. trial and really brought a nuance the other fifteen hundred reporters didn’t. And I’m sorry — I just don’t think Martin Bashir will be the same without his longtime partner Michael Jackson. Sorry to see those two break up.

“No, people prefer their news from a single authoritarian voice. The new setup at Nightline is some sort of freaky journalistic three-way. Menage a trois sound good on the surface but trust me–they’re over-rated.”

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