Today we have another installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com. This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple and insightful. 

1. “Special Report with Bret Baier.” How fucking special can something be if it occurs for an hour each and every day? That’s not special. Christmas is special. Your birthday, Dear Piranahmous, is special, because it comes but once a year.

How culturally insensitive! Christmas isn’t special to those who don’t celebrate it, birthdays aren’t special to Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Special Report isn’t special to fans of Al Sharpton or people who watch whatever is on CNN at that time (I don’t know what show it is and ratings indicate no one knows what show it is).  You’re right, the word “special” is overused these days. I’d peg the blame on the DVD. One all the Charlie Brown specials came out of DVD and kids could watch “The Great Pumpkin” in July, it was no longer special. That said, there is no “line” in Nightline, but no one complains about that. And NBC’s Night News barely has any actual “news” some days and airs in the evening, not the night. We could take this to the extreme or we could just accept that it’s a name and not give a shit. I choose the latter.

2. What’s this crap about the “Liberal Media” and how it’s so dominant? Last time I checked, the top cable news channel was Fox News. The top newspaper by circulation was The Wall Street Journal. And the top talk radio hosts were those well-known commies Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. Dominant liberal media my ass.  

Compared to the number of people who watch network news, the amount of viewers who watch Fox could fit in a clown car (I’ll let you make your own joke there). So to say there is no liberal media because they’re the tallest cable news midget is a false comparison. Same goes for the Wall Street Journal. Yes, the editorial page of the Journal leans right, but studies have shown the news pages don’t. And even if they did, who gives a shit? It’s quantity, not content. For every WSJ there’s a Times, Post and whatever other stupid names newspapers give themselves. It’s like a nation winning the most gold medals at the Olympics but losing the overall medal count – when the tally is done liberal newspapers and liberals newscasts outnumber the WSJ and Fox total numbers of organizations and readers/viewers. So you take your attitude and stick it in your butt, mister!

Piranhamous addresses the burning question whether Luke Russert should have asked Nancy Pelosi the age inquiry after the jump… Read more

Like many outlets, Politico wrote up the age dust-up between NBC’s Luke Russert and House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi from a Wednesday morning press briefing. Luke wondered if the 70 plussers in the Democratic leadership are holding back a more youthful party. Nancy, none too pleased, attempted to scold him like a child. In the end, she entertained his question.

But it’s those candid commenters who are intriguing. They have much advice for young Luke and a lot to say about his late father, Tim Russert. Here’s a sampling. We’ve bolded the best parts.

Against him…

Ginny: “Here’s hoping Luke’s mom has a chat w/him.”

Mary: “Russert would have gotten a pass if he asked the same question to old farts like Mitch McConnell and Harry Reid, but he has never done so, and has had plenty of opportunities. He only asked that question to Nancy Pelosi so it does look like a double standard.”

Neil: “Luke Russert is a tremendous hack. Its such a shame the media gave him a free pass because they loved his dad so much. I don’t rag on reporters or public personalities very much, but when it comes to Russert, it just reeks of a ridiculously underqualified dip getting a HUGE leg up simply because of his father’s legacy.”

Doug: “To be blunt, Luke Russert is the poster boy of what’s wrong with media nepotism. He continues to be as clueless and superficial in his analysis as when he first got his job — out of the blue and with no qualifications whatsoever — just after his father died. NBC should be ashamed.”

Wendy: “Luke Russert got his ass handed back to him. Any more questions, punk?”

For him… Read more

Quotes of the Day — The Debate Edition

“Someone wrote me an email and said they thought the Secret Service was going to intervene.” — Politico‘s Mike Allen early this morning on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”

By Far, Funniest Reaction of the Night

“Mitt shot his whole wad in the first debate.” — D.C. Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton. Whoa, Eleanor, HUH?! WaPo‘s Mike DeBonis tried to come to her defense, saying, “To defend Eleanor Norton a bit, she’s an aficionado of antique muzzle loading firearms. I hope.”

Sweet and Sour Reaction to Candy

“Candy Crowley holding the reins tight tonight…no shenanigans in her house.” — NBC’s and E!’s Ryan Seacrest.

“Best & worst moment of debate was Candy correcting Romney – she was right, but I’m not sure she should have inserted herself in that way.” — Roll Call‘s Emily Pierce.

“Righties already trying to make this about the Qs and moderator.” — Politico‘s SENIOR political reporter Jonathan Martin in what may be his first understandable tweet in awhile. Congrats JMart!

“I’m terribly disappointed in Candy. I defended her today, and I was wrong.” — Houston Chronicle political blogger and Newsbusters’ Kathleen McKinley.

“Ok Candy, you better facilitate, not follow-up!” — Conservative blogger Matt Mackowiack.

“Candy Crowley proved why these media fact checkers are toxic liars.” — Breitbart.com’s John Nolte.

“(I worked with Candy Crowley at CNN and think she’s terrific)” — CBS News investigative journo Sharyl Attkisson.

“A lot of anger on the Twitters at Crowley for challenging Mitt. You see, that isn’t supposed to happen.” — WaPo lefty blogger Greg Sargent.

“I must say that if you aren’t drinking some Jack Daniels during this debate you really are missing something.” — Roll Call Columnist and Political Analyst Stuart Rothenberg.

“Who won the debate tonight? Candy Crowley. She knew her facts and made sure she pointed them out to her opponents. She’s got my vote.” — Author Jonathan Krohn.

Debate Recap: Top Quotes

“If Sec. Clinton is responsible for the security failure in Benghazi, who is responsible for 8 days of of b.s.about what happened that day?” — FNC’s Brit Hume.

“As a woman voter, I feel very wanted tonight!” — ABC talk show host Katie Couric.

“OMG. Panelist on FOX News just said ‘BULLSHIT!’” — ABC7′s Mike Conneen.

“I was filing during that Libya exchange, but holy living fuck.” — TPM‘s Brian Beutler.

“Candy Crowley halts Romney in his tracks, calling him out live in real time on an incorrect Libya statement.” — NYT‘s Ashley Parker.

“I’m excitable – but politics is about emotion as well as reason. My view is Obama halted Mitt’s momentum in its tracks.” — The Daily Beast‘s Andrew Sullivan.

“Watching the @politicolive show again on dc newschannell 8. Forget how fun it was to watch, albeit kind of a train wreck.” — QGA and longtime Senate flack Jim Manley.

“The town hall debate format makes me feel bad about the human condition, like that “What Would You Do” hidden camera show. #sighbinder” — Digital media exec Kenny Day.

“Bottom line: Obama was far more aggressive this time, these 2 men don’t like each other and this race is still a toss-up.” — The Hill‘s Managing Editor Bob Cusack.

“No one puts baby in a binder.” — National Journal‘s Chris Frates.

“Ok, goodnight everyone. tucking myself into my binder for some shuteye.” — AtlanticWire Senior Writer Jen Doll.

“Chris Matthews is wetting his pants in joy, gibbering like a meth freak on laughing gas.” — Conservative blogger and former TWTer Robert Stacy McCain.

“Bottom bottom line: Obama shows up big timme and wins. Is it enough to reverse the polarities?” — HuffPost‘s Howard Fineman.

“MSNBC fawning. Fox News fuming. A pox on both your houses.” — WaPo‘s Dan Zak.

“Love switching channels. MSNBC says clr Obama win, CNN, eh, slight Obama edge. Fox still talking about Benghazi.” — NYT‘s Jonathan Weisman.

“Did Van Jones just call Mitt Romney a ‘DOUCHE’ on CNN – @CNNSituationRoom? Wow, didn’t think that was permitted.” — former Eric Cantor Spokesman Brad Dayspring, who now works as senior adviser to the YG Action Fund.

Greta sees hot pink and blue

“Yes, it is true…both wives in a hot pink (or at least on my monitor it looks like hot pink but faces can be bluish on my tv monitor)” — FNC’s Greta Van Susteren.

Important Q to Ponder: “Do I have time to make pierogies before this debate? Yes, yes I do!” — The Washington Examiner‘s Nikki Schwab.

Something else to Ponder: “How, in a country as powerful and dynamic as ours, could bindersfullofwomen.com not already be taken?” — WSJ‘s Neil King.

The Observer

“You keep it crazy, Bobby Jindal.” — Ronan Farrow, son of Mia and Woody Allen, reacting to post debate interviews from Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal. Farrow is a writer, human rights lawyer and formerly Sec. of State Hillary Clinton‘s Special Adviser for Global Youth issues.

And another journo eats chicken…

“Chicken in pot, my debate night tradition. Thanks, Herbert Hoover!” — blogger and pundit Craig Crawford. Anonymous writes in, “That’s a sweet tradition, but his shicken looks like a dog’s dinner.”

Good rap quote from whitest guy in Washington

“Mystikal: That’s right my meat and potatoes come from my lyrical label I throw my rhymes for No Limit like Jeff George throw for the Raiders” — NBC’s Luke Russert.

Ouch!

“Joe Scarborough will suck-up to a guest, then trash-talk them 24 hours later. Tells you all you need to know…#MSNBCfail” — The Daily Caller TV Reporter Jeff Poor.

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

Quotes of the Day

“He’ll be insufferable now.” — MSNBC “Morning Joe” Contributor Mike Barnicle reacting to TIME‘s Mark Halperin role in “Game Change” winning four Emmys last night. Halperin wrote the 2010 book that later became a movie with New York magazine’s John Heilemann.

Luke says Dad is among the ghosts

“.@brainsalsa Great shot. He’s there with the ghosts Bruce mentions.” — NBC’s Luke Russert, in reference to a picture from a Bruce Springsteen concert. After Salsa wrote and told him he’s in the front row of a Springsteen concert and misses Luke’s dad “a ton,” Luke tells his new acquaintance that Tim Russert is among the ghosts. Um, creepy?

Arianna says buon giorno to HuffPost Italy 

“Arrived in Rome for the launch of L’Huffington Post Italia.” — AOL-HuffPost Editor-in-Chief Arianna Huffington.

Important Q’s to Ponder: “Why am I sitting in traffic in LA at 7:30 on a Saturday? Don’t people have somewhere to be already?” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson.

Scribe notices peculiar blend of hotel guests

“Interesting vibe in my hotel. 3 conventions going on: funeral directors, financial planners, Rwandans” — WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty.

Dowd dismisses Stuart Stevens

“You get the sense that the strategist considers himself cooler than the candidate, that he’s too hip to walk through fire for Mitt and that he lacks confidence that Romney could be a better campaigner. He treats Mitt like a cardboard cutout, never asking him to risk anything or pushing him to be big, bold and inspirational.” — NYT Columnist Maureen Dowd in reference to Mitt Romney‘s Campaign Strategist Stuart Stevens in her Sunday column.

Reporters get shaft on Romney plane

“In the 2 hours the press was off Romney plane in SD, a new curtain has been installed to separate the reporters from the staff section.” — NBC News’ Garrett Haake.

Ana Marie unveils her weekend plans

“Boyfriend has mysterious journey planned for bday: ‘wear comfortable clothes, bring toiletries, and something nice for later.’” — The Guardian‘s Ana Marie Cox.

Speaking of the weekend…

“Rihanna, thanks for being the song in my head. Cheers to the freakin’ weekend… I drink to that, yeahh yeahhh.” — Politico Publicist Olivia Petersen.

Preacher Sophia gets prayed up  

“Boy do I have a whole LOT to say-God is doing some stuff in and for me. It’s kinda scary, crazy, wonderful. When I get back 2 VA will share!” — Essence and theGrio.com columnist Sophia Nelson.

Self-appointed media critic

“This MTP roundtable is really good. @JoeNBC vs.Bay Buchanan is exquisite.” — Politico Capitol Hill reporter Jake Sherman temporarily parts with his Phish obsession to watch MTP.

Noteworthy: AP‘s Kasie Hunt appeared on the Fox News Sunday panel for the first time this weekend.

Quotes of the Day

“I gotta say, between Mitt Romney’s gaffes and Kate Middleton’s tits, I’m afraid to leave the house!” — Bill Maher, host of HBO’s “Real Time With Bill Maher.”

Congratulations. (A little…)

“Happy anniversary to my 2nd favorite morning show.” — Chris Licht, former executive producer for MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.” Licht now produces CBS This Morning.

Speaking of “Morning Joe” shout-outs…

“So people watch Morning Joe just so they don’t miss it when Mika finally snaps and stabs him, right?” — host of NPR’s “Wait Wait Don’t Tell me…” Peter Sagal.

Twitter growing pains

“I’d like to go back to school and do my PhD thesis on how bad Twitter sucks.” — Politico‘s Ben White, who has been getting some push back on Twitter this week from the likes of Guardian‘s super serious Glenn Greenwald among other “whores.”

Convo Between Two Journos

This morning’s conversation is between WaPo national political reporter Philip Rucker and Monocle and Slate’s Sasha Issenberg. Sasha is referring to WaPo’s Jennifer Rubin, who has been accused of being in the tank for Mitt Romney.

Philip Rucker: Romney aides Rhoades, Gitcho, Beeson & Chen got Aug bonuses from $25,000-$37,500

Sasha Issenberg: How much did @JRubinBlogger get?

Question to Ponder: “Do political reporters do serious journalism in election season or just report gaffes?” — InTheseTimes.com labor journo Mike Elk.

Did someone say serious journalism?

“Happy Daze: Remember when Paris Hilton and Charlie Sheen dominated the news cycle? Sigh.” — Baron’s D.C. Editor James McTague.

Muckraking at its finest. Aren’t smartphones great?

“Reception for Paul Ryan on House floor a lot more tempered down since last week’s visit. Mob to talk to him not as large.” — NBC’s Luke Russert.

“Hoyer crosses House floor to shake hands with #Paulryan. Nice moment.” — Politico’s Jonathan Allen.

“Steny Hoyer just crossed house floor to shake Paul Ryan’s hand.” — Politico‘s Shermanator Jake Sherman.

Skirmish.

“What will I ever do now? Dave Weigel blocked me so I’ll never see him crying about people being mean to Obama again!! OH NOES!!” — RBPundit. To which Slate‘s Dave Weigel replied, “You’re not entitled to waste my time and Twitter feed. That’s all.”

Journo gets hives

“Ew I just got hives for the first time. And on my arm. What in the world, this is so not cool.” — Elizabeth Lauten, a.k.a. “DCGOPGirl,” who video blogged for  CNN during the summer conventions.

FishbowlDC Fan Club

1. President: WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten

2. VP of internal shady clubhouse activities: The Daily Caller‘s Executive Director David Martosko

3. Head cheerleader: WaPo‘s Ezra Klein

4. Treasure and national fundraiser: The Daily Caller‘s Matthew Boyle

5. Enthusiastic new member: HuffPost‘s Andrea Stone

A recent profile of sports super agent Drew Rosenhaus on 60 Minutes elicited the attention of NBC’s Luke Russert. To be sure, Rosenhaus is a divisive figure in sports. He is the real-life agent that inspired Tom Cruise’s character in Jerry Maguire. Some people point to him as the reason why professional athletes make as much money as they do. He is the very definition of a love-him-or-hate-him kind of guy.

Rosenhaus tells interviewer Scott Pelley that he really believes that “the NFL would fall apart without me.” Obviously, social media reacted and had several not-very-nice things to say about Rosenhaus. But in the middle of the fracas, Russert, who likes to sometimes play defense, jumped in. One thing about Russert: He likes to play up and down his famous surname depending on the circumstance. In this case, he’s just a regular, unknown kid from Buffalo. He tweeted:

Say what u will abt Rosenhaus, the guy treats people w respect. Nicest guy I dealt w as an intern at @pti (no he didn’t know my last name)

— Luke Russert (@LukeRussert) September 17, 2012

Among the things they make clear in the profile is that Rosenhaus has a client on almost every NFL football team. That means he has a LOT of clients… Read more

Now that everyone has had a chance to vote, the results are in for the FishbowlDC Superlatives. We’ll be rolling out the results today and tomorrow, so be on the lookout to see how your nominees did.

Biggest Self Promoter– This was the closest vote that we had in the whole competition. It was between Former Daily Caller reporter Michelle Fields, ABC News White House Correspondent Jake Tapper, The Daily Beast and CNN’s Howard Kurtz, WaPo’s Chris Cillizza and Publicist Tammy Haddad. The photo finish saw Tammy Haddad beat out Fields by only five votes! Congratulations Tammy!

Worst Temper– The candidates were Mother Jones’s David Corn, Politico’s Jim VandeHei, Politico’s Tim Grieve, Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher, and Slate’s Matt Yglesias. The people have spoken and they say Tim Grieve has the worst temper in Washington! We’d congratulate him, but we’re afraid it might set him off.

Favorite Flack– We asked you to choose between POTUS campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki, Mitt Romney spokesman Brendan Buck, House Maj. Leader Eric Cantor’s Deputy Chief of Staff Doug Heye and NRCC’s Brian Walsh (pitched as Drama and Turtle), C-SPAN’s Howard Mortman, and House Maj. Whip Kevin McCarthy spokeswoman Erica Elliott. Despite a last minute push by Mortman, the winners were Doug Heye and Brian Walsh!

Most Likely to Wind Up in Jail– The suspects choices were Politico’s Joe Williams, PR Exec. David Bass, BuzzFeed’s John Stanton, The Daily Caller’s David Martosko, The Daily Caller’s Neil Munro, Reason‘s Mike Riggs and freelancer Moe Tkacik. The overwhelming winner was Joe Williams.

Class Clown: This category was a joke. The results were the most lopsided in all of the superlatives. The contenders were Sirius XM’s Julie Mason, Roll Call HOH’s Neda Semnani, Yahoo! News’ Olivier Knox, Reuter‘s Sam Youngman, The Atlantic‘s Scott Stossel, Wonkette and The Guardian‘s Jim Newell and The Drudge Report’s Charlie Hurt. Julie Mason walked away with this category with a crushing 46 percent of the vote.

Most likely to end up with a reality show– In D.C., there are PLENTY of options, but we narrowed them down to Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher, ABC7’s Stephen Tschida, TWT‘s Emily Miller, Susanna Quinn, Publicist Wendy Gordon, Publicist and blogger Janet Donovan, NBC’s Luke Russert, Current TV’s David Shuster,and CNN’s Roland Martin. The winner of this category was…  Emily Miller! (Our advice would be to make sure you get the lighting right on her reality show or she might shoot the bulbs out.)

Thanks to everyone who voted, but we aren’t done yet with the big reveal. Check back tomorrow to find out the winners of all of our other categories, which include Best Writer, Sexiest, and Best On-Air Personality!

Quotes of the Day

Russert Makes it to the Big Screen: “On the jumbotron at the Nats game: ‘Happy birthday @LukeRussert‘ – Politico’s Byron Tau, who spotted a birthday shout-out to MSNBC’s Luke Russert at Wednesday night’s Nationals baseball game. Russert has been very vocal about his love of the Nats.

Speaking of Russert…. “Hey @LukeRussert, no wildcat today. Run the pro-style.” NBC’s Chuck Todd issued that warning moments before Russert filled in for him on The Daily Rundown.

A Lesson in Journalism: “Tweeting candidate speeches made sense during the primaries, when not every speech was drawing media. It’s pretty dull now…” – Slate’s Dave Weigel

It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere: “If I’ve been up since 4:30 I can eat Thai leftovers at 9 am right?” – Politico’s Kate Nocera, who had an early morning. (The answer is that you can ALWAYS eat Thai leftovers; no matter what time of day.)

Today NBC News Congressional Correspondent Luke Russert wins the prize for how to bring a national story down to really where it ought to be: to himself. No one can fault the network for running a story about how Luke bonded with VP hopeful Paul Ryan. It’s a somewhat intriguing media insider story that will likely draw eyeballs to the site.

But it all feels just a little too zoom lensed on the self, and a tad bit incestuous in terms of lawmaker-reporter relations. Why not just have the memory? Or, write a memoir. Are we going to be subjected to the equivalent of a pissing contest amongst reporters on who is closest with Ryan?

The headline in big bold red: “Luke Russert: Like me, Paul Ryan is driven by personal loss.” The gist…Both lost their fathers to heart issues. Ryan, in a fatherly or older brother sort of way, advised Luke to work up a sweat at least five days a week. They joked about the crappy aftertaste of fish oil.

Excerpt:

“He came back in the room and asked me, ‘How old was your dad when he passed from heart disease?” I told him, ’58.’ He said, ‘Mine was 55. My grandfather and great-grandfather both died from heart issues in their 50s, too.’”

“I believe Ryan keeps himself so physically fit in order to downplay the anxious feeling all children of heart disease victims have — the dreadful thought you could be next. I can attest that this feeling spurs you to accomplish as much as possible because the idea that you’re on earth for a limited time is imprinted in your mind daily.”

Read the full story here.