“Don’t Make S–t Up”: Truth and Memoir @ the AWP

By Ron Hogan on February 4, 2008 10:23 AM

Mary Karr and Dan Kennedy

GalleyCat correspondent Amanda ReCupido went to the Associated Writers & Writing Programs conference Saturday and, at my request, checked out the panel on “memory and memoir” moderated by Josh Wolf Shenk with Mary Karr, A.M. Homes, and Dan Kennedy. “The talk focused on the writers’ relationship with their own memory and how it translated to their respective works,” she reports:

“Shenk began the discussion by stating how having a good relationship with one’s memory is the key to his writing life. He joked that he himself had a lousy memory, even forgetting if he shampooed or not while in the shower, but, he went on, ‘There is value to a bad memory. Forgetting is essential to making us who we are.’ In the same vein, he went on to say, we must filter information in order to remain sane, for ‘it is not the things we remember that matter, but the things we refuse to forget.’

“Homes was the first to read, and spoke extensively about her own memory. ‘I remember everything, even the layout of my childhood friends’ homes,’ she said. ‘We remember more than we should as writers, and with it comes burden and responsibility.’ Homes described writing memoir as a way to get through traumatic times, as reflected in her latest, The Mistress’ Daughter, about grappling with her own adoption.”

(Kinda makes you wish Ishmael Beah wasn’t off promoting his book in Europe last week, doesn’t it? A Long Way Gone never came up as a direct topic of conversation, but some of the key issues in the growing controversy over that memoir did…)

“Kennedy stepped up next after some gentle prodding from his other panelists,” ReCupido continues. “‘I was so into A.M.’s story, I didn’t even hear my name being called,’ he joked, and continued to tell humorous tales of his own faulty memory. ‘I lose my keys daily, and right now I have about 11 metro cards all with $20 on them,’ he mused. He read from his latest work, Rock On: An Office Power Ballad, which chronicles his time at a record label. Among his many quips, my favorite has to be the line, ‘Kids change everything. So does sitting alone in a studio apartment in your 40s.’

“Karr described memory as being the filter of others, and mentioned that her books often become the record of her family’s memories, ‘even if my family wanted me to forget everything.’ She read a passage from Lit, her (unpublished) third memoir, which she mentioned ‘would be done with the Bush administration.’ On the topic of fiction vs. memoir, she stated, ‘It’s not that hard. You don’t make shit up.’ After being challenged by Homes (who said that she lived in her imagination but it’s hers so it still makes it a memoir), she clarified, ‘Memory is informed by imagination. It’s a filter of self. It’s biased, but you have a contract with the reader. You have to tell what you know to the best of your ability.’ And finally, do you think about making the reader care about your story? ‘It’s all I think about,’ Karr responded. Homes: ‘I never think about it.’

For additional perspectives on the AWP weekend, see Carolyn Kellogg‘s report for the LA Times book blog (plus a post on her own blog) or Erika Dreifus‘s dispatches for The Writer, among many other possibilities.