False encouragement, like fiction, relies on lying convincingly. And MFA students, if they're decent and ambitous, try to learn the art of both -- while hoping, privately, that their hammy classmates submit work to Fiction Bitch, fiction's online dominatrix.

The Fiction Bitch doesn't want to encourage new writers. She wants to weed out terrible writers before they go on to bore millions of innocent publishing house interns to tears. If you suspect you are a lousy writer, the Fiction Bitch can remove all doubts, thus freeing you for other, more productive pursuits.