Today in We Feel Dumber for Having Read This News: The Man with the Tan has, once again, offered a crash course in how to get attention while contributing absolutely nothing of value to society.
And he’s joined today in infamy (thank God) by his female equivalent, Gloria Allred. Do they realize that almost everyone is laughing at them? We don’t think they do! It’s hard to believe!
The Donald has finally released his anti-Obama “bombshell”, and it is—get ready–a press release stating that the world’s most famous hairpiece model will donate $5 million to the President’s charity of choice as soon as he releases (dum dum dum)…his college transcripts.
Well, that was a big letdown, wasn’t it? It’s not a “reveal” in any sense of the word. And of course we’ve seen the dude pull this kind of crap before. A serious question for all the RealTrump/World Net Daily fans who read our blog (we know you’re legion): what, exactly, might Obama be squirreling away in these mysterious transcripts? Did he get a C in Philosophy 2? Did he once take a course called “Fascist Dictatorships 101”? Was he a proud, card carrying member of Harvard’s famous Gay Muslim Communist Club? Anyone?
Lest we stick to the very lowest hanging fruit, here’s Allred’s equally earth-shattering “October surprise”: Mitt Romney once testified in the divorce hearings of friend, business partner and Staples CEO Tom Stemberg, telling officials that he was actually a pretty good dad. Yeah, that’s it.
Shocking! Appalling! Petty! Completely meaningless! Pardon us while we editorialize a bit, but we can say with confidence that only one word accurately describes these shameless publicity whores: pathetic.
(We already feel icky for giving them more attention. Our apologies for putting you through this.)
- This Might Be the Dumbest Tweet Ever Written by a Politician
- Today in Bigotry: FDNY Sends Bill to 'Unknown Asian'
- Oh Look, the White House Made a Typo
- Google's Autocomplete Feature Leads to Serious Federal Harassment for This Guy