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Jordan Teicher

Jordan Teicher lives in New York City and writes for The Wall Street Journal, Slate, and Tablet Magazine. He likes basketball, David Foster Wallace, and tomatoes, in that order. Email jteich21@gmail.com or tweet @JordanTeicher.

Cigarettes and Bodily Waste: The Ugly Truth

Lately, there’s a lot of content to cover on the bathroom humor beat. Yesterday, we reviewed some poop comedy for the new Clorox campaign. Today, we have a 30-second spot titled “Poop vs. Pee” from Arnold Worldwide and truth, the anti-smoking organization. This ad takes a radical shift in tone from meaningless poop jokes. There may be some uncomfortable chuckling here, but the point is to make the viewer aware of two facts: methane, a chemical in dog poop, can be found in cigarette smoke; urea, a chemical in cat pee, is also used in cigarettes. As you’ll see in the clip, there are some silly sound effects and visual representations to make it obvious that bodily excrement is gross, and in turn, chemicals found in our waste shouldn’t be voluntarily inhaled.

On truth’s website, you can read about their strategy for raising awareness, which is echoed in the commercial. They don’t tell people to stop smoking, because that sort of pitch doesn’t work on little children, let alone addicted smokers. So, to get the point across, they appeal to their target audience with alternative methods, such as disgusting facts. Stripping away moralistic lecturing in favor of poop jokes might just be bizarre enough to catch someone’s attention. Credits after the jump.

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Lesson Never Learned: Jack Link’s Once Again Sullies Up to Sasquatch

It’s been almost a year since we last covered Jack Link’s and their Sasquatch antihero, but everyone’s favorite ugly creature is back to sell some beef jerky and beat up anyone who messes with him (it). Minneapolis-based agency Carmichael Lynch has produced three new spots for the campaign, all of which were once again directed by Rocky Morton.

In the above commercial – “All Dolled Up” – three fools try to get their kicks by putting makeup on Sasquatch. He responds by flipping their car and possibly killing them, because, well,  Sasquatch doesn’t wear lipstick. The ads tap into the creature’s vaguely redneck brand appeal with foggy rural settings and the fact that the product is beef jerky. If I learned anything here, it’s to avoid Jack Link’s beef jerky, because eating it will lead to serious personal injury and an upset Sasquatch. Two more clips and the credits after the jump.

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Clorox Defines Harrowing Household Terms in ‘Language of the Domestic Jungle’

This is no Merriam-Webster, but if you’ve ever wanted to define words like “poopocalypse” and “glueslime,” then the “Language of the Domestic Jungle” is the right dictionary for you. Created for Clorox by Onion Labs – the creative services unit launched by The Onion a year ago – the Domestic Jungle spots employ Discovery Channel-esque narration to color their potty humor with some faux-sophistication. If you’re a legal adult who thinks poop jokes never get old (like me) there’s even a comprehensive Icktionary that can provide grammatical guidance for immaturity.

In the coming weeks, three more spots will air for the campaign. I can confirm that one of the terms is, in fact, “Splatteral Damage.” Even though that’s a dumb phrase that will make some people shake their heads, I wish I could’ve come up with that myself. These dirty situations do exist, and it’s easy to shrug them off as disgusting, but maybe you’ll get a kick out of watching some silly videos. And maybe you’ll think of Clorox next time you need to disinfect. Or maybe I’m 23 and alone in my appreciation for bathroom humor, and commenters will line up to criticize these ads. We’ll see. You can watch the “Glueslime” spot after the jump.

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Who Needs a Personal Assistant at Cannes?

There’s not too much to say about this video. A creative advertising student, who wishes to stay anonymous at the moment, has made this one-minute digital pitch aimed at senior-level industry folks (from CDs to CCOs to CEOs) who have yet to pick out an errand boy or girl for the upcoming 2013 Cannes Lions Festival. The animated video is cloaked in some 80′s synth beats, pastel colors, and dry narration humor, which may not be your thing, but if it is, the anonymous creator wants you to find more information at the “Personal Assistant de Cannes” Facebook page. In return, the student is hoping to receive a Cannes Young Lions pass and accommodations  We’ll leave it up to you to decide if this is clever or cheesy or irrelevant. At times like this, it’s better to just report the facts and see what happens next.

Symphony Orchestra Plays to Younger Demographics

It’s not a surprise that older people like classical music more than younger people. For the Brazilian Symphony Orchestra (OSB), that trend needed to be fixed. Since most of their audience is older than 65 years, the OSB started playing orchestral themes from blockbuster movies like Jaws, E.T., and Star Wars to show younger people that they had an unknown appreciation for classical music.

Rio de Janeiro agency Artplan also incorporated YouTube videos of film clips to add a visual presence to the experience. As a result, the OSB saw a 40% increase of young people in the audience. The case study gave a healthy boost to the box office draw as well: all of the orchestra’s concerts in the upcoming season are already sold out. Unfortunately, young people still like Kesha more than Wagner, but I don’t think there’s a lot that the OSB can do to remedy that. Credits after the jump.

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Stockholm Invades Cyber Russia for Gay Pride

Russia’s abysmal track record for gay rights got unnecessarily worse last year, when a court ruling banned gay parades in the country for the next 100 years. Today, Stockholm Pride and M&C Saatchi Stockholm are fighting back with gowest2013.com, a digital campaign that lets Russians celebrate gay rights on Twitter for one well-intentioned thorn in the side of the Russian government: to get “Go West” trending in Russia. How are they going to accomplish this from a Swedish website, you ask? All tweets from the website automatically change location to a Russian city. Got to love technology.

If Stockholm Pride accomplishes their goal, I’d love to see the faces of Russian government officials after “Go West” starts trending. Stalin rolls in his grave, Putin rolls in his bed, Sting makes more music videos like this. If you’re interested in contributing, you can tweet from the website to help the cause and watch as Princeton, New Jersey turns into Ufa, Russia.

Holland Wants to Show You Why It’s a Cool Country

Pim de Koel is not the most interesting man in the world, but he may be interesting enough to make you want to travel to Holland. Koel headlines a new Dutch travel spot, “Holland. The Original Cool.” that was put together in a joint effort from Mustache, the Netherlands Board of Tourism and Conventions, KLM Airlines, Schiphol Airport, and Amsterdam Marketing. The commercial focuses on how Holland is fun, quirky, pretty, forward-thinking, artsy, and generally better than wherever you live. They also like to say Van Gogh in thick accents. I can’t argue against their sophisticated European sensibilities, Holland is cool. You should visit there just so you can meet the one old, bitter Dutch dude who doesn’t speak English. And there’s no need for weed jokes or Red Light District quips, because Pim keeps it clean. The pitch has worked thus far, racking up close to 125,000 views in only one day (see how it’s blown up this week on Reddit after the jump).

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Pre-Injured Russell Westbrook Stars in New Champs/Jordan Brand Spot

As you may know, Oklahoma City Thunder All-Star Russell Westbrook suffered a season-ending knee injury in the first round of NBA Playoffs. Instead of flying in for dunks, Westbrook has watched the rest of his team’s games with crutches by his side. And even though the Thunder are one game away from playoff elimination, Champs and Jordan brand have decided to launch a new Westbrook campaign, created by L.A.-based agency Zambezi and filmed pre-injury, as perhaps a sign of solidarity for their hobbled endorser. The above commercial will run for the next few weeks during the Conference Finals.

In the spot, a high school basketball player transforms into Westbrook on and off the court when he gets new Jordan gear from Champs Sports. The on-the-court part is great, but the off-the-court part may not be a good look for a high school kid – or any human being with two spoonfuls of self-respect, for that matter – since Westbrook is the guy who wears this in his free time. Regardless of the fashion lampooning or the fake glasses he wore regularly to post-game press conferences, the decision to keep the campaign alive after Westbrook’s injury is a cool gesture from the brands involved. Be on the lookout for more Westbrook spots as we head into the never-ending stretch of NBA Playoff basketball that precedes summer.

Audi Shows Us How ‘It Couldn’t Be Done’ Got Done

Audi has been busy lately, pumping out ads for their newest cars in sponsorship deals with Iron Man while simultaneously pitting past and present versions of Spock against each other. The automaker seems to be at it again, now with longtime agency Venables Bell & Partners, for a 60-second spot that traces back to the origin of the company. Retro footage of Audi’s founder, August Horch, and old-school automobiles plays for most of the spot, set to narration of the children’s poem It Couldn’t Be Done, written by Edgar Albert Guest. I guess Dr. Suess was busy.

By design, most of the commercial feels like it belongs to pre-1980, but the dissonance of the kid’s poem and the speeding-car shots strikes a cool chord. While previous car spots may be clever or topical when full of movie stars, this one stands out in a good way. It’s smooth and engaging, presumably, like a ride in a new Audi. Credits and a couple of :15 second spots after the jump.

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Mash+Studio NYC Makes Metaphors with Children’s Story (for Adults)

“Jenny and the Chicken,” a Mash+Studio slideshow illustrated by Danny Mcclain, is one of those metaphorical stories that lets you know it’s metaphorical halfway through the narrative. A boy named Brand wants to befriend a a girl named Jenny, but he can’t figure out how to make her like him. He tries all of the usual friendly activities, like connecting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., but Jenny doesn’t seem interested in a guy who talks about himself all the time. Remember, his name is Brand. Get it?

This type of wink-wink story is typically not as clever as its creators think it is. Anthropomorphic chickens aside, engaging with consumers effectively is a lot more complicated than showing how a brand sees the world. I’m not sure who Mash plans to target with this slideshow, which is partly why it feels disjointed, but unless they start teaching brand equity to second graders, you might want to turn the page.

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