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Blind Item

Blind Item: The ‘Yeah…I’m Gonna Need You to Come in on Saturday” Edition

We received a somewhat interesting memo from a spy over the weekend that perhaps sheds a bit more light on how Hurricane Sandy has affected the agency world here in the tri-state area, especially in New York. You’ve seen the reports in various trades about agencies having to huddle up in makeshift offices, around conference tables, at hotel ballrooms and even apartments just to keep the work going. Well, the Sandy ripple effect continues in the industry as evidenced by this note sent to staffers at a certain familiar unit housed within a global agency network.

Thanks to the superstorm, the higher-ups had no other option than to channel their inner Bill Lumbergh’s and take “extraordinary measures” to keep the ball rolling. We get the feeling that this certain agency, though, is probably not the only one to enact something like this in the wake of Sandy. One snippet’s below, read in full after the jump and draw your own conclusions.

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Today’s Quick Blind Item: HR Tells Staff to Mind Their Phone Manners

Let’s dust off the blind item category for a hot minute and bring you this quick memo that we’ve been assured is legit and was sent to staff earlier this week after someone was caught being a bit naughty on the phone. The message here, which came from HR we’ve been told, can be easily summed up by this classic quote from the original Office. Anyways, take your guesses, people.

“Hi all,

Just a heads up ….

Just figured I’d mention that the phone booths are not sound proof.

As a matter of fact, it’s safe to assume that everyone around those general areas can hear conversations that take place in a phone booth.

As much as we all enjoy hearing some of the colorful conversations that tend to take place within those ‘non-soundproof’ walls – it may be appropriate to have them outside of the office or … maybe quieter … ?

Thanks,

[redacted]“

 

Blind Item: Senior-Level Agency Dude is Throwing Total Brah-B-Q, No ‘Chick’ Allowed…Dude

 

We have received word on multiple ends that this is 100 percent legit, and it apparently has drawn the ire, as you’d imagine, of many female staffers at a certain well-known, Midwestern agency. Why? Well, because this was sent to 50+ certain “dudes” and those not of the XY chromosome at said agency caught wind. So, is this just a guys’ day out, a higher-up at a pretty notable agency bringing out his true bro colors, or is this overreaction? To protect those in the matter, we’ve redacted the incriminating info (sorry) but here’s the official body of the email verbatim that was sent at lunchtime yesterday:

“Hey dudes,

MeatFest is this Saturday at 6 pm in my backyard. The rules are simple. Meat. Booze. Dudes.
No chicks. No Veggies. No tofu. (Bread is permissable but only to sop up juices or as a bun.)

I know I have missed a shit ton of guys (You think it’s easy to organize this crap?) so if I you know someone who is:

A) a dude
B) not a chick
C) like meats
D) likes booze.

….Feel free to bring them. And if someone whines because they were left off this list, tell them to stop being a baby and just show up. It was an honest mistake.

T-shirts have not yet been ordered. Let me know your size if you want one. They will be about 10 bucks. Design is being revised due to a white ink shortage.

I’ll try to have enough beer on hand and a ton of meat. But if you have a meat specialty that you make, bring it on. If you are just going to bring shitty hot dogs, don’t bother. We’re totally up scale.

My address is
<redacted>
Google location
<redacted>
Google directions from the office:
<redacted>”

 

Blind Item: So, What This Person is Trying to Say Is…

Boy, someone sure needed to let off some steam, and we’re happy to allow the tips box to serve as a space for ranting, confessionals and catharsis when need be. All we know is this one’s targeted at you, US advertising industry. Why don’t you look in the mirror this weekend and think about what you’ve done? Anyways, here’s your end of the week anonymous rant.

“Hi US advertising industry! While we all suffer through the rest of this hyper-partisan election cycle, let’s remember not to assume that we all have the same political views simply because we happen to be advertising creatives. When you shout misogynist and religiously bigoted things about our preferred candidates and their wives, you’re being a jerk. When you spew the most derogatory invective you can think of about your political adversaries, just know that there could be someone sitting a few feet away from you who is trying very hard to keep his or her mouth shut. You may notice that lots of us don’t bring our politics to work. Perhaps you should try that, so as to facilitate a more tolerant and hospitable working environment. Also so as not to look like a boor. That is all.”

Blind Item: When Programmers Attack…Each Other

It’s been a good while since we’ve heard a tale of drunken agency hijinks, hasn’t it? Well, according to one tipster, an alleged brawl broke out from a booze-soaked evening–not at some agency party, mind you, but after just another round of late-night imbibing at the office. As is the norm with blind items, we’ll leave the incriminating names/associations out and leave the guessing game to you. Time to play Mad Libs again, and oh yes, it’s a geek fight, folks.

“Last Friday [ed: meaning April 27] in the _______ office at _________, two programmers got into a brawl when they were drinking late at work.  One of the programmers hit the other with a champagne bottle causing  police to be called and 17 stitches and staples to be administered to victim.  The assailant wrote an email over the weekend assuming he was fired and did not even come to work.  He was terminated on Monday.  Police are reviewing case for criminal prosecution.  Guess disagreements with alcohol get ugly at the ____________ office.  I do not work there but numerous people I know have confirmed this story.  ________ is the attacker and _______ was the victim apparently.  You can’t make this up…”

Blind Item: Once Again, This Really Could Apply to Most Agencies

It’s been well over a month since our last blind item, folks. So, yet again, let’s dust off the beast with a brief comment that seems to echo a familiar theme at agencies you may know. Yes, it’s generic, but like always, roll the dice and have at it if you’d like. We kept it verbatim, just the way you like it.

“_______ is in way over it’s head. Super understaffed and everyone hates CCO ___________. Digital talent especially is horrified to see what’s up once they’re hired. I’d be very, very worried if I were a______ client with a big digital media buy, because if it’s not on TV, ______ still doesn’t give a shit.”

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Blind Item: This Agency PR Person’s Vegas Trip Was Not That Money

It‘s been a few weeks since we boarded the Blind Item train, so let’s dust things off by regaling you with a tale sent verbatim from a source familiar with the matter. It must have been a hard knock life for this particular person in the agency PR community. Read on and place your bets.

Which New York agency flack got humiliatingly relegated to chauffeur duties in Vegas for the entire week of CES, literally idling at execs/clients’ beck ‘n’ call all day/every day, when his multi-billion dollar media agency masters proved too cheap to shell out for a driver even as they stayed and ate at some of Sin City’s most expensive hotels and restaurants?  But the week wasn’t completely about degradation: the Powers-That-Be did deign to permit said flack to attend the agency’s low-rent party. Unfortunately, nobody took the initiative to order drink clients’ products as party beverages.  So the flack spent the night playing errand boy to amend that oversight as well.  You wonder why he came back….a media masochist?

Blind Item: Which Agency Just Axed its Entire Tech Team?

It’s been a few months since we’ve visited the old blind item section, so let’s dust it off, shall we? Spies are telling us it’s true that a full-service, NYC-based agency fired its entire tech team recently. From what we hear, this is the second time that this has occurred at said agency, though your guess is as good as ours as to which one it actually is. Fire away, people.

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Blind Item: What Agency Pitch Seemed Like a Complete Waste of Time?

Ok folks, here’s our weekly mailbag and it’s time to play yet another guessing game. This is interesting.

“_____ agencies, mostly ___ and _____ [-based], are invited to pitch for _______.  3 weeks, time, travel and $$$$ invested by ____ agencies. here is the winner: “The business from the 2011 ___________ RFP event has been awarded to _________.”

Here’s a hint: It’s for digital biz and it’s not from NYC.

Blind Item: There’s So Much Drama in the ____ ?

Two blind items in a week? Yep, two blind items in a week, and this one kinda merited it. We know, we know, this could almost apply to any agency, but seriously, we believe you can narrow it down. Have fun with more mad libs, folks. The person who sent us this apparently loves ellipsis as well.

“The _____ ____  is about to go under: IN an act of clemency, ________ promoted ______ and _________ to Co-Presidents of the group that has lost 75% of its staff in the last year. An exodus caused by a toxic work environment. The group has also lost ________, _____, _____ digital work and the rest of the account (media) is expected to go soon. _____ is on the edge, having just hired several agency folks and then shooting a TV spot without the shop…_____ is shopping around and the _________ [account] is rumored to be interested in working with ______ at _____….”

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