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Blind Item

Blind Item: Seat Fillers Needed (Was Kramer Not Around?)

Why do we think this is not an anomaly? And no, sorry, that’s not the agency we’re hinting at but another, rather familiar one whose West Coast operations is having some issues with staffing. Well, why spoil the rest, here’s what we’ve heard thus far:

“Apparently, the managing director of a certain San Francisco agency with a major retention problem has taken to asking employees from other floors to sit near reception when clients or prospective clients will be in the building
as seat fillers so it doesn’t look so empty.”

Lordy, if only The Pitch could add this to mix for its surprising resurrection. Take it away, ladies and gents.

 

Blind Item: An Email Fail Tells All

 

Let’s shake off the Turkey Day rust with a tidbit we’ve actually been hearing about since Nov. 11 to be exact. We’ve brought this up to friends at the agency supposedly involved in this blind ditty, but since we’ve yet to receive the actual memo/item in question, we’ve slept on it. But, thanks to a tipster who woke us up this morning, we might as well dust things off, send a smoke signal and let you know that a certain memo went out to an entire region within a certain well-known agency network that included an attachment that, well, revealed a little TMI. Here’s the first tip we received and subsequent ones (all from different IPs) below:

Nov. 11: “I can’t be the only one sending you the story of <redacted>, Head of HR for <redacted>, who, on Friday, accidentally sent an agency-wide email with an attachment that listed everyone’s salary. Needless to say there are a lot of people dusting off their resumes and looking for other employment.”

Nov. 12: “<Redacted> entire staff salaries emailed out by director of hr <redacted>. Vast differences in salaries in similar positions.  Bosses making less than people who report to them. Women making less than half of men in same position.  Lots of different probably lawsuit worthy examples.”

Nov. 12: “Might be worth checking into the <redacted> scandal going on right now. Apparently a company wide email went out with the title. ‘Everyone’s Current Salary.’ How’s that for juicy gossip?”

So, yes, tipster from this morning, we have heard about it and we appreciate you refreshing our memory. Obviously, this is a pretty sensitive issue, which perhaps explains why we haven’t received much in the way of tangible info. But, if anyone has more that we can roll with or can just give us an update, don’t hesitate to shout.

 

 

Blind Item: Please Remember, Kids, Punctuality is Key

And now, our second internal memo-based blind item, which veers from new agency mandates set forth in the wake of Sandy to what seems like just a frustrated higher-up at a well-known, say, non-traditional agency who’s had it with tardiness on his/her own watch. Folks, in this house, 9am means 9am, no ifs, ands, faulty alarm clocks, oversleeping, hangovers and buts. It begins with a quote from wordsmith George Bernard Shaw, who once said, “Better never than late,” and segues into what you see after the jump. We get the feeling, though, that this type of message isn’t too uncommon regardless of the workplace, though as we all know, it’s always Bob in accounting’s fault.

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Blind Item: The ‘Yeah…I’m Gonna Need You to Come in on Saturday” Edition

We received a somewhat interesting memo from a spy over the weekend that perhaps sheds a bit more light on how Hurricane Sandy has affected the agency world here in the tri-state area, especially in New York. You’ve seen the reports in various trades about agencies having to huddle up in makeshift offices, around conference tables, at hotel ballrooms and even apartments just to keep the work going. Well, the Sandy ripple effect continues in the industry as evidenced by this note sent to staffers at a certain familiar unit housed within a global agency network.

Thanks to the superstorm, the higher-ups had no other option than to channel their inner Bill Lumbergh’s and take “extraordinary measures” to keep the ball rolling. We get the feeling that this certain agency, though, is probably not the only one to enact something like this in the wake of Sandy. One snippet’s below, read in full after the jump and draw your own conclusions.

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Today’s Quick Blind Item: HR Tells Staff to Mind Their Phone Manners

Let’s dust off the blind item category for a hot minute and bring you this quick memo that we’ve been assured is legit and was sent to staff earlier this week after someone was caught being a bit naughty on the phone. The message here, which came from HR we’ve been told, can be easily summed up by this classic quote from the original Office. Anyways, take your guesses, people.

“Hi all,

Just a heads up ….

Just figured I’d mention that the phone booths are not sound proof.

As a matter of fact, it’s safe to assume that everyone around those general areas can hear conversations that take place in a phone booth.

As much as we all enjoy hearing some of the colorful conversations that tend to take place within those ‘non-soundproof’ walls – it may be appropriate to have them outside of the office or … maybe quieter … ?

Thanks,

[redacted]“

 

Blind Item: Senior-Level Agency Dude is Throwing Total Brah-B-Q, No ‘Chick’ Allowed…Dude

 

We have received word on multiple ends that this is 100 percent legit, and it apparently has drawn the ire, as you’d imagine, of many female staffers at a certain well-known, Midwestern agency. Why? Well, because this was sent to 50+ certain “dudes” and those not of the XY chromosome at said agency caught wind. So, is this just a guys’ day out, a higher-up at a pretty notable agency bringing out his true bro colors, or is this overreaction? To protect those in the matter, we’ve redacted the incriminating info (sorry) but here’s the official body of the email verbatim that was sent at lunchtime yesterday:

“Hey dudes,

MeatFest is this Saturday at 6 pm in my backyard. The rules are simple. Meat. Booze. Dudes.
No chicks. No Veggies. No tofu. (Bread is permissable but only to sop up juices or as a bun.)

I know I have missed a shit ton of guys (You think it’s easy to organize this crap?) so if I you know someone who is:

A) a dude
B) not a chick
C) like meats
D) likes booze.

….Feel free to bring them. And if someone whines because they were left off this list, tell them to stop being a baby and just show up. It was an honest mistake.

T-shirts have not yet been ordered. Let me know your size if you want one. They will be about 10 bucks. Design is being revised due to a white ink shortage.

I’ll try to have enough beer on hand and a ton of meat. But if you have a meat specialty that you make, bring it on. If you are just going to bring shitty hot dogs, don’t bother. We’re totally up scale.

My address is
<redacted>
Google location
<redacted>
Google directions from the office:
<redacted>”

 

Blind Item: So, What This Person is Trying to Say Is…

Boy, someone sure needed to let off some steam, and we’re happy to allow the tips box to serve as a space for ranting, confessionals and catharsis when need be. All we know is this one’s targeted at you, US advertising industry. Why don’t you look in the mirror this weekend and think about what you’ve done? Anyways, here’s your end of the week anonymous rant.

“Hi US advertising industry! While we all suffer through the rest of this hyper-partisan election cycle, let’s remember not to assume that we all have the same political views simply because we happen to be advertising creatives. When you shout misogynist and religiously bigoted things about our preferred candidates and their wives, you’re being a jerk. When you spew the most derogatory invective you can think of about your political adversaries, just know that there could be someone sitting a few feet away from you who is trying very hard to keep his or her mouth shut. You may notice that lots of us don’t bring our politics to work. Perhaps you should try that, so as to facilitate a more tolerant and hospitable working environment. Also so as not to look like a boor. That is all.”

Blind Item: When Programmers Attack…Each Other

It’s been a good while since we’ve heard a tale of drunken agency hijinks, hasn’t it? Well, according to one tipster, an alleged brawl broke out from a booze-soaked evening–not at some agency party, mind you, but after just another round of late-night imbibing at the office. As is the norm with blind items, we’ll leave the incriminating names/associations out and leave the guessing game to you. Time to play Mad Libs again, and oh yes, it’s a geek fight, folks.

“Last Friday [ed: meaning April 27] in the _______ office at _________, two programmers got into a brawl when they were drinking late at work.  One of the programmers hit the other with a champagne bottle causing  police to be called and 17 stitches and staples to be administered to victim.  The assailant wrote an email over the weekend assuming he was fired and did not even come to work.  He was terminated on Monday.  Police are reviewing case for criminal prosecution.  Guess disagreements with alcohol get ugly at the ____________ office.  I do not work there but numerous people I know have confirmed this story.  ________ is the attacker and _______ was the victim apparently.  You can’t make this up…”

Blind Item: Once Again, This Really Could Apply to Most Agencies

It’s been well over a month since our last blind item, folks. So, yet again, let’s dust off the beast with a brief comment that seems to echo a familiar theme at agencies you may know. Yes, it’s generic, but like always, roll the dice and have at it if you’d like. We kept it verbatim, just the way you like it.

“_______ is in way over it’s head. Super understaffed and everyone hates CCO ___________. Digital talent especially is horrified to see what’s up once they’re hired. I’d be very, very worried if I were a______ client with a big digital media buy, because if it’s not on TV, ______ still doesn’t give a shit.”

image via

 

 

Blind Item: This Agency PR Person’s Vegas Trip Was Not That Money

It‘s been a few weeks since we boarded the Blind Item train, so let’s dust things off by regaling you with a tale sent verbatim from a source familiar with the matter. It must have been a hard knock life for this particular person in the agency PR community. Read on and place your bets.

Which New York agency flack got humiliatingly relegated to chauffeur duties in Vegas for the entire week of CES, literally idling at execs/clients’ beck ‘n’ call all day/every day, when his multi-billion dollar media agency masters proved too cheap to shell out for a driver even as they stayed and ate at some of Sin City’s most expensive hotels and restaurants?  But the week wasn’t completely about degradation: the Powers-That-Be did deign to permit said flack to attend the agency’s low-rent party. Unfortunately, nobody took the initiative to order drink clients’ products as party beverages.  So the flack spent the night playing errand boy to amend that oversight as well.  You wonder why he came back….a media masochist?

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