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Posts Tagged ‘Al Kelly’

Wake Up With a Panic Attack, Courtesy of Fig’s ALARMclock

Appealing to morbid philosophy students and paranoid individuals everywhere, the folks (and one dog) over at New York digital shop Fig (which counts agency vet Al Kelly among those in its leadership team) are creating an alarm clock that wakes you up by telling you how long you have to live (with a projected life expectancy “based on age, health, lifestyle, diet, family history and other factors”), how much money you have, and how popular you are online. No need to wait to get out your smartphone or laptop to experience crippling anxiety about your health or social and  financial well-being, Fig’s ALARMclock will wake you up with a panic attack!

ALARMclock is currently seeking funding on Kickstarter. In Fig’s words ALARMclock will help you to “Jump start your ambition. Reconnect with powerful motivating forces such as financial instability, social insecurity and fear of death.” If you’re the kind of person inclined to desire such a soul-crushing device, you can donate to make ALARMclock a reality. The project is currently at $2,121 of its $7,000 fundraising goal, which it must reach by November 26th. It wakes up every morning aware of its current Kickstarter status (I imagine) and impending death, should its fundraising goal not be met.

The ALARMclock doesn’t just wake you up every morning with a rundown of why you’re inadequate and a reminder of your impending mortality, though. It may work so well at waking you up in a state of dread that you never get to sleep in the first place. There’s nothing like completely eliminating sleep from your life to jump start your ambition and boost productivity.

ALARMclock: waking you up with all the pressures of modern day existence. You may never sleep again!

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Al Kelly Out at Euro

Well, after hearing about this from tipsters for a month or so, we have finally received confirmation that Al Kelly‘s time as CCO of EuroRSCG New York has come to an end after just 10 months. Here’s the official statement: “Euro RSCG NY and Al Kelly have mutually parted ways, effective today.  We thank Al for his contributions to the agency and wish him nothing but the best in his future endeavors.”

Last year, when Kelly joined Euro, our former writer Inocul8tor predicted that the Fallon/Chiat/Goodby alum would last a month. Guess he beat the odds.

 

 

A**hole of the Week

BRACELETS BRACELETS BRACELETS, you’re an asshole asshole asshole. You win this week’s award because I took a shit-ton of slack for getting down on Al Kelly, so now it’s your turn. According to the 47 comments about Mr. Al Kelly becoming CCO of Euro, I’m “dumb, bitter, and a petty little asshole.” Maybe I was a bit off-base and incorrect in my assessment of the man- I don’t know him. I was probably just pissed off cuz my roommate left the toilet seat up that morning and I practically sat in spunk water when I was about to take my morning dump…sigh. I digress.

Apparently Kelly is loved by people, so shame on you! However, you’re the asshole this week, because 1) you didn’t have the nerve to shit-talk him on the relevant post, instead you hid it here, and 2) I have an excuse for my assessment. I write to rile people up; to make them think or be pissed off or love me to pieces. Sometimes when people get new positions in the industry, it’s nice to hear what others have to say about them. What’s your fucking excuse? You couldn’t even give context around your opinion, so not only are this week’s asshole, but you’re a LAZY MUTHA-ASSHOLE.

So, Bracelets Bracelets Bracelets, my hat goes off to you for being such a pussy. Next time, be a prick on the right thread. ‘Til then, the search bar’s there for a reason- use it.

Ahhh, I feel so much better about this whole Kelly thing now. Thanks for being an asshole, B-cubed.

Peterson Named CCO at Euro Chicago

Just days after Al Kelly became CCO of Euro RSCG New York (yeah, I know we had issues with that one…our apologies), the Havas-owned network’s Chicago office announced that Jason Peterson (right) is  now chief creative officer at its Chicago office. Peterson takes over for Blake Ebel, who left a few months back. As for Ebel’s former partner-in-crime, Steffan Postaer, he’ll remain on as chairman after leading creative for six years at the agency.

Meanwhile, Peterson served as ECD at Translation prior and perhaps more notably, was a creative director and founding partner at Berlin Cameron and Partners. During his career, he’s spent time in creative roles at Fallon and Berlin Wright Cameron where he developed creative for accounts such as the NBA, Nikon, Volkswagen and MTV.

Al Kelly Becomes CCO of Euro

In what should be big news, Al Kelly has been named chief creative officer of Euro RSCG. I think I might care a little bit more if I felt like this dude actually gave a shit about the industry. Kelly is what we like to call in this biz a “jumper”. He’s apparently worked at Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, Strawberry Frog, Fallon, AND Chiat (which we’ve reported on previously and is surprisingly NOT mentioned in the press release) all within the last couple of years. One question- why would you work at creative shops like those, only to sell out for Euro?! One answer…dolla dolla bills, yo. I bet he got paid a bundle.

According to Jeff Brooks, co-CEO of Euro RSCG New York, ”Al is a true 21st Century creative leader. He is a craftsman of big ideas and brand narratives, and is also deeply qualified to lead an agency in a digital age. He’s right in the sweet spot.”

Mmmhmm, riiight. I give it a month before this guy jumps ship and goes somewhere ridiculous to be CCO of the world at some shop like Tattoo Projects. LMAO. Let’s remember the good times, above.