Being Elisabeth Bumiller

Tonight, in between drinking steins of green beer, a group of White House correspondents will teach young Helen Thomases how to do their job.

The National Press Club panel, entitled “How to be a White House Reporter,” will feature Businessweek’s Rick Dunham as moderator, as well as Knight Ridder’s Ron Hutcheson, Reuter’s Steve Holland, CNN’s Dana Bash, and Ken Herman of Cox News Service.

Some questions we’d like to see answered:

• Is it true that Scott McClellan is a wind-up doll?
  
• When was the last time Terry Moran showered?
  
• Explain, please, why we’d want to work in a firetrap?
  
• Mr. President, Senate Democratic leaders have painted a very bleak picture of the U.S. economy: Harry Reid, who’s talking about soup lines, and Hillary Clinton was talking about the economy being on the verge of collapse. Yet in the same breath, they say that Social Security is rock solid and there’s no crisis there. You’ve said you’re going to reach out to these people. How are you going to work with people who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?
  
• What the eff are you doing letting BLOGGERS into your press room? Don’t you know they’ll ruin everything and that the White House briefings will devolve into useless rhetorical exercises?
  
• Can you get me some weed?
  

Answers to these and other fascinating questions tonight at 7 p.m. at the NPC. More details here.

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