When CNN Contributor Van Jones foolishly fell for the fake photoshopped Fox News report that President Obama had blamed Russia’s meteor on global warming, he did what any reasonable political type would do — he deleted his tweet, said “Pobody’s Perfect” and moved on with his life.

But DCist? They’re stubborn little jackasses who refuse to acknowledge that TWT‘s senior opinion writer Emily Miller was joking when she published this tweet on Friday morning:

Cue Obama to blame the Russian meteor on global warming.

— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) February 15, 2013

DCist‘s Ben Freed, who has unfortunately been in a couple of nasty bike accidents, and has previously suffered a concussion and may not be thinking clearly, used the following headline: “The Dumbest Tweet You Will Read All Day About the Meteor That Struck Russia.” He then looked down on Miller, writing, “…just wanted to dispel one thing real quickly. Meteors—and other astronomical phenomena—are not connected to global climate change.”

DCist‘s wimpy Editor-in-Chief, Martin Austermuhle, stuck by the ridiculous report and weakly directed Miller to Freed when she lashed out at them on Twitter, asking, “What moron wrote this story? I was clearly making a joke.” She continued, “You need to post a correx. Would he make that assumption for a liberal reporter?” Freed replied on Twitter, “Yeah, I would.”

Miller said her joke was obvious. “Anyone with the slightest knowledge of current events and even a passing sense of humor knows that it was sarcasm, and that I don’t literally believe that global warming caused an asteroid to hit the earth,” she told FishbowlDC. “This is clearly not journalism, but even worse, these staunch liberals show they will do anything to mock those who have conservative views, even if it means being dishonest to the public.”

Even commenters who disagree with Miller’s politics and think she’s a “partisan tool” understood she was joking. Wrote one woman, “It was an obvious joke. She’s suggesting the Obama administration makes outlandish claims about global warming. Guh. While she may be a partisan tool, she gets that blaming the meteorite on climate change is absurd.”

No one at DCist bothered to ask Miller if she was serious. But worse… Read more

Quotes of the Day

Here we have the fantasy baby of our own FBDC’s Eddie Scarry and Mark Levine, a determined radio correspondent we affectionately refer to as “Queen Levine” for his dramatic email exchanges with Eddie. We must say, they’d produce adorable offspring. We’ll call her “Levina Scarry.”

Valentine’s Day Success Stories

“The Obamas went to Minibar tonight. That is a serious I-never-have-to-face-the-voters dining option. Also delicious. …How did he get a reservation?” — The New Yorker‘s Ryan Lizza.

“My parents spent Valentine’s Day at Disney World. Their 1st time w/o kids! How romantic. And cute! I’m super jealous.” — WJLA’s Mike Conneen.

“We were so stuffed from our Valentine’s Day lunch that we had a quiet dinner at home.” — Chairman of Accuracy in Media Don Irvine.

Stupid Question never to Ponder: “Is there a special app that will protect my tweets so morons can’t read them?” — Commentary‘s John Podhoretz. Note to Podhoretz: If you don’t want morons reading you then you shouldn’t be on Twitter.

Uh Oh.

Conservative radio host Dana Loesch: “Pick battles wisely folks so that they move our agenda forward, not back, or cause needless division. We’re all on the same side. Smiles!”

Conservative blogger and author Michelle Malkin: “I don’t get people who lecture me not to engage liberals on Twitter. This is a social ENGAGEMENT tool. For, you know, ENGAGING.”

Bureau Chief: Outraged by Poopy Cruise

“CNN has a ‘sweet home Alabama’ cryon for the poop cruise. I want those responsible put in a sack and thrown off a bridge.” — BuzzFeed D.C. Bureau Chief John Stanton.

Washington sex terms

“Lots of Washington terms are appropriate for Valentine’s Day: Holds, Mark up, Pocket veto, Rider, Score, Whip, Yield.” — Paul Brandus of WestWingReports.

Valentine’s Day Downers

“Totally having a 2 star meal at Brasserie Monte Carlo tonight. I’ve been bumped by the waitstaff at least a dozen times.” — Ben Harris, Rockville-based communications professional.

“When your boyfriend does last minute Valentine’s Day shopping you get a card in Spanish.” — National Journal‘s Ben Fishel. (Actual card at left.)

“Oh angry, loud single ladies getting drunk and wearing fake mustaches at this bar, Happy Valentine’s Day.” — Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner.

“So much sappy music on the cab radio tonight. Can’t imagine why.” — Greenwire‘s Jessica Estepa.

“What a nightmare. Not one not two but three separate accidents and TWO lanes closed for roadwork on 395.” — Fox News Producer Kara Rowland.

The Media Critics

“CNN led am show with cruise nightmare OVER Russian meteorite!” — NJ‘s Josh Kraushaar.

“If a Free Beacon reporter asks your group for tax forms you don’t want to provide, tell Politico you’ve been assaulted by racists #protip.” — Newsweek-The Daily Beast‘s Eli Lake.

See the current names on our FishbowlDC Fan Club Board. Read more

Quotes of the Day

Convo Between Two Journos: BFF’s discuss Adele, Chris Brown, Rihanna

NBC’s Luke Russert: “Loved how Adele didn’t even acknowledge Chris Brown before her hug to Rihanna. #Grammys”

Politico‘s Jake Sherman: “Good. Guy is scum.”

Female journos outraged over Fun’s capris pants

“So, man capris are not ok. We need a national conversation about that, for Fun.” — HuffPost‘s Elise Foley.

“After tonight, we shan’t speak of this again.” — NBC White House Producer Shawna Thomas.

NPR correspondent’s daughter succumbs to Justin Bieber

“For the first time ever, Kayleigh uttered the name Justin Bieber tonight. I pray it is the last we hear of him.” — NPR’s Andy Carvin.

Dating a woman from BuzzFeed means…

“My boyfriend who is not on Twitter: ‘Please don’t send a tweet to all your friends about this conversation.’ #doesthiscount#hellneverknow.”  — BuzzFeed Publicist Ashley McCollum.

Politico Playbook publish time: 7:53 a.m.

Guiding Sophia’s Light

“The reason we don’t stay committed today and love forever is because we analyze, think 2 much, & give up 2 quickly. #LostValentine” — theGrio and Essence’ Sophia Nelson.

Weekend party hazards

“When white girls go ‘WOOOO!’ and throw up hands it’s a eye hazard for tall bamas like me. #giantproblems #ouch” –BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

Hooked on ‘Homeland’: NBC’s David Gregory

“Only Homeland has given me as many headaches as the Wire from watching episode after episode without a break. ‘You feel me?’” — NBC “MTP” Host David Gregory.

Editor encounters enigma of city living

“Randomly oracular statements from lightly medicated schizophrenics u pass on street is one of the curious elements of urban life.” — TPM founder Josh Marshall.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“Started Cycle with @cyclemeter at 3:30 PM, on a new route, see cyclemeter.com/74b1bad6b8971c…, Cyclemeter will speak your replies to me.” — DCist‘s Ben Freed. Speak your replies? Do our ears deceive us? We just may have to try this, because why wouldn’t we want to converse with Ben Freed while he’s “cycling” around town?

Why Gov. Christie’s heft is a plus (no pun intended)… Read more

Asked to describe the idea behind “BuzzFeed Brews,” John Stanton says, “It’s like a first date. Get them a little drunk and relaxed so they can talk about things people don’t normally hear them talk about.”

Stanton is the Washington Bureau Chief for BuzzFeed and last night was the launch of the website’s new series wherein newsmakers are invited to sit before an audience and answer questions. And there’s free beer.

It’s essentially the same thing as Politico‘s Playbook Breakfast, “minus the stale bagels, plus the beer,” cracked BuzzFeed‘s Politics Editor McKay Coppins to FishbowlDC. (The site’s publicist Ashley McCollum boasts that she came up with that description.)

The first guest: Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.). For roughly 45 minutes Rubio answered questions from BuzzFeed Editor-in-Chief Ben Smith about immigration, gay marriage and the future of the Republican Party. Of course, lengthy segments here and there were spent on why Rubio prefers Tupac over Biggie Smalls (“His lyrics are more insightful in my opinion.”) and whether he had to “think long and hard” before letting his son play recreational football. Stanton said that’s another thing distinguishing the Brews series from Playbook Breakfast, whose audience may not be interested in those things. Read more

Though he participated in a well-documented Twitter fight back in 2009 with TWT‘s Emily Miller, it appears actor Kevin Spacey has forgotten who she is.

“I don’t know she is,” he said when asked if we could send Miller his regards at the red carpet premier of Netflix’s “House of Cards” last night at the Newseum. FishbowlDC explained that Miller tipped off the FBI about details surrounding the Jack Abramoff scandal, as portrayed in the film “Casino Jack,” starring Spacey himself. “Oh,” Spacey said, sort of recalling who Miller is. “Hi! Sure. I don’t know what you’re asking me,” he said. Then his handlers moved him along.

“House of Cards” tells the story of Francis Underwood, played by Spacey, a congressional Democrat who wheels and deals his way to the top of the political world. Michael Dobbs, the creator, told FishbowlDC that he wrote the story “as a form of therapy” after having worked as the chief of staff to former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in the late ’80s.

The Washington news corps. plays a heavy, fictional role in the show, which is based on the original 1990s BBC series of the same name. James Foley, one of the show’s directors, said while working on story lines he’d ask himself whether it would be believable if he saw it reported on CNN. If not, he’d ask the lead writer for adjustments to the script. He also said actual on-air talent from CNN make cameos in the show, including… Read more

Quotes of the Day

CONTEMPLATIVE: “Getting ready for Meet the Press this morning from Richmond” — House Maj. Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) in a moment of deep, meditative, almost wax figure silence before going on the program.

“Okay, buddy. Great night. Get some sleep. In about 72 hours, Axelrod’s gonna be looking for us.” — Joe’s Mustache (@AMJoesMoustache) to MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough, who made a campaign bet last week that will either have him growing a stache or Obama Campaign Advisor David Axelrod shaving his off.

Sunday morning at 4:38 a.m.: “I would like about 3 more hours of sleep. Instead: DCA.” — Yahoo! News’ Olivier Knox.

Journo hears anti-gay sentiment on trail

“An irate attendee at this Boehner event in OH told me she opposes Obama because ‘he’s forcing through this gay shit.’ Alrighty then!” — HuffPost‘s Jennifer Bendery.

Editor invents new Twitter terminology

“Defining new term: Twitter War Hostage| when yr handle gets dragged along in twitter fight btw 2 others long after u have anything 2do w/it.” — TPM Editor Josh Marshall.

Journo nightmare

“I had a terrible dream that I set my clock back and it was Nov. 4, 2011.” — Politico‘s Maggie Haberman.

On Saturday night NBC “MTP’s” David Gregory encouraged everyone to have fun with daylight savings: “My feeling is don”t wait until 2am to turn your clocks back. Have some fun with it. Do it now.”

Editor wrestles with cat’s underarm hair

“Spent half an hour untangling my cat’s underarm hair – finally had to give up and cut out a matted hunk #MaineCoonproblems.” — Washington Gardener Editor Kathy Jentz, who clearly made the most of her daylight savings time this weekend.

Anticipation: “Moving to my third coffee shop of the day. … But, I’m thinking y’all will think this story is worth it.” — BuzzFeed‘s Chris Geidner. Anticipation II: “Hour 19 of today: waiting. waiting. and more waiting. We cannot wait to actually have control of our own lives.” — LAT‘s Maeve Reston.

Captain Obvious: “In three days, we’ll know who the president will be for the next four years! Barack Obama or Mitt Romney?” — The Daily Caller‘s Matthew Boyle. What?!?! Is there an election??? We’re thinking he should stick with stories on senators and Dominican prostitutes.

Irony is…

“Starbucks Dupont believes in overheating its coffee to mouth-scalding temperatures but they’re too cheap to turn on the friggin’ heat.” — MetroWeekly‘s Randy Shulman.

FNC’s ‘Fair and Balanced’ reaches preposterous proportions

“Fox News anchor: If viewers want ‘far-left’ news, they go to MSNBC. If they want ‘fair and balanced,’ they come here.” — HuffPost‘s Amanda Terkel.

D.C. publicist would rather do anything than watch Sen. Rob Portman. And which Politico reporter basically tells complaining NY marathoners to STFU? Also: journo witness to giant car wreck caused by a bear.

Read more

Quotes of the Day

“Dear Florida: For the sake of our mental health, please remain a swing state. Sincerely, political reporters everywhere.” — NPR White House Correspondent Ari Shapiro.

“I particularly want to apologize to Chris Matthews.  (Laughter.)  Four years ago, I gave him a thrill up his leg — (laughter) — this time around I gave him a stroke.  (Laughter.)” — President Obama at last night’s Alfred E. Smith dinner at the Waldorf Towers in Manhattan.

Sometimes journos speak in sounds

HufPost‘s Eilot Nelson: “ughhhhhhhhh”

BuzzFeed’s John Stanton: “Nuh na na na”

National Journal Editor-in-Chief Ron Fournier: “!!!!!!!”

Daily Kos‘s Markos Moulitsas: “Ha ha ha ha ha! #Yankees”

Stirring the Pot

“Breitbart News will publish piece on ‘not optimal.’ Hope Dave Weigel doesn’t say something bad about us in JournOlist 2: Electric Boogaloo.” — Breitbart.com‘s John Nolte.

See more Morning Chatter and find out what’s getting Slate‘s Dave Weigel‘s goat and what has National Journal‘s Editor-in-Chief Ron Fournier yearning for happier times… Also, see who is running FishbowlDC’s Fan Club this week! Read more

Members of Washington’s media were invited to a screening of The Paperboy ahead of its Friday release last night. FishbowlDC went but we think we’re now permanently scarred.

As we previewed last week, Paperboy is a modern film noir starring Zac Efron, Nicole Kidman and Matthew McConaughey. The story, if you could call it that, centers on two journalists and a prison groupie who attempt to clear the name of a death-row inmate played by John Cusack.

Sounds like a fun time, right?

Paperboy is the nastiest, crudest, most disturbing movie we’ve seen this year. In the event that you accidentally stumble into the wrong theater this weekend– the one showing Paperboy rather than, say, Frankenweenie — we’ve put together a comprehensive list of things you should know before seeing it.

1. Despite IMDb’s description of Paperboy as a film about “a reporter [who] returns to his Florida hometown to investigate a case involving a death row inmate,” that’s not what this movie is about. McConaughey plays a reporter, yes, but his character is more accurately described the same way you’d describe his role in every other movie he’s in: A sweaty, greasy-haired slob with a thick southern accent who, you gather, is intended to be viewed as a sex symbol.

2. Paperboy contains possibly the most uncomfortable, disgusting sex scene ever filmed; and it doesn’t involve actual sex. In the scene, Kidman’s character sits across from Cusack, the prison inmate. Kidman, wearing a dress, spreads her legs, rips open the crotch of her pantyhose and touches herself while simulating oral sex. Meanwhile, Cusack, an ugly hillbilly mess, masturbates through his clothes, shouting “you bitch.” This happens in front of a trio of men, including McConaughey and Efron, who look on in horror.

3. In one scene, McConaghey is found lying on a plastic tarp in a hotel room, inexplicably chained, gagged and mutilated by two men.  Later on, viewers learn that McConaghey is a self-loathing gay man and that turns him on.

Yes, we have four more points…

Read more

By Betsy Rothstein and Eddie Scarry

Buzzfeed‘s Washington Bureau officially popped its cork last night with a packed party at the U Street haunt Brixton, where a DJ spun vinyl records thanks to Bureau Chief John Stanton.

11. Trying to get anyone at the party, but especially Buzzfeed underlings, to trash talk Editor Ben Smith, in from Manhattan, wasn’t easy. Slate‘s most weigelicious reporter Dave Weigel (pictured at right with Michael Hastings), a longtime, intense Smith fan, remarked, “I think Ben is creating a good news organization in a tabloidy sort of way. They’ve captured what people like about the news. I’m a big fan of what they’re doing. I completely, seriously and unironically think it’s really good.” Weigel, in an unironic black  golf shirt and jeans, looked in his element in the divey scene, sipping on a Hendrick’s martini. At one point he offered a rather complex tirade on the bar’s eclectic drink menu (we caught about half of it). At about 7:40 p.m. he said, “You know you’re in D.C. when some douche says, ‘You going to the convention?’” This came after he asked if we’d be attending the party conventions.

10. Buzzfeed‘s Michael Hastings proved to be quite the conversationalist. We anticipated having to hunt him down and wrestle him to the ground just to introduce ourselves. Not so. Despite a couple contentious emails he sent us back in June regarding a report on a Twitter fight, Hastings was a pleasure. “Sorry I was kind of a dick in those emails,” he told us. “But I knew you would publish them.”

9. Politico White House reporter Byron Tau and Zeke Miller got into a spontaneous argument for the sake of taking a more natural picture. (See at left.) We had no idea Tau could be so violent or that Miller would take it so well.

8. At 8:30 p.m. we ran into Roll Call HOH Columnists Neda Semnani and Warren Rojas. Warren on keeping his jobs amid the wealth of recent layoffs at CQ Roll Call: “They can’t get rid of us. We know where all the bodies are.” He called the layoffs a “slaughter” and added, “Tomorrow, we still have a job.” Shortly thereafter, Washington Examiner gossip gal Nikki Schwab offers an uncharacteristic warmish hello. And for that, we put away the ice thermometer. At least for today. Hey Nikki!

LOL! Meeting Ben Smith

7. Asked about working at Buzzfeed, Chris Geidner takes a moment to gush. “I love it. It’s totally fun and everyday there’s …. just then Smith walks up and tells us he has a kind speech prepared for when people tell him they hate me. Thanks Ben! LOL! Back to Geidner, who is describing what it’s like to work at Buzzfeed: “It’s being at a place where everyday there is something new and amazing happening. Everyone is so good at their job. Go look at the page,” he’s saying about a recent graphic that accompanied his story. “It is so fucking awesome.” BuzzFeed doesn’t have an actual office in D.C. yet and Geidner wasn’t about to tell us about plans to open one. “I’m definitely not telling you that,” he said. “It’s still TBD.” (Later on, Smith would tell us they’re searching for office space, but it won’t be a conspicuous one. When asked if it’d be located in Anacostia, where reporters might need a bulletproof vest, he said it wouldn’t matter: “No one’s going to mess with Stanton.”

6. Speaking of someone not to mess with, it’s BuzzFeed publicist Ashley McCollum‘s turn to come up with a bad thing about Ben. “I think Ben is as much an incredible editor as he is a great boss. Everyone’s ideas count. Anything bad about Ben Smith, you call me when you find it.”

Joining Smith were other buzzies well-acquainted among Washington media such as Stanton (pictured at right) Hastings, Miller, Andrew Kaczynsky, McKay Coppins, Chris Geidner, Rosie Gray and Dorsey Shaw, the video guy who, as was pointed out several times, could pass for Sting. McCollum was on the scene making sure Buzzfeed reporters mixed and mingled and didn’t make asses of themselves. In that sense, she was a success. She’ll return in a few weeks as C-SPAN gives Coppins a grilling. Speaking of which, we ran into C-SPAN Communications Director Howard Mortman outside the rust-colored bar at about 8 p.m. He made his cameo and gave the party high marks, but said it wasn’t exactly his scene as he headed home to his wife and kids.

LOL: ‘Bad’ things about Ben Smith (SWAK!)

All night long we continued to pester other Buzzfeed employees and party-goers to badmouth Smith. This was the disastrous outcome of that.

Politico‘s Dylan Byers: “He really doesn’t understand the Israel issue.” Buzzfeed‘s Dorsey: “He’s my dream boss. I can’t say anything. He lets me do whatever I want.” Kaczynski: “He’s a really good boss. He’s like kind of the perfect boss.” Stanton: “He doesn’t know what a Bama is to save his fucking life.” Rosie: “I think the worst thing about Ben is that he tries hard to be there for all of us always, and I’m envious of his ability to do that.” Zeke: “When I miss my deadlines he sends me the #19 koala,” he said, explaining that there is a series of disappointed animal pictures Ben sends in place of a formal complaint. Adds Coppins: “Animals are disappointed in you. It’s the perfect Buzzfeed way to reprimand a reporter.”

Party tentacles reached most outlets around town — HuffPost (Sam Stein, Sabrina (a.k.a. Sabrini) Siddiqui, Elise Foley, Jeff Young), USA TODAY (Jackie Kucinich), ABC News (Polson Kanneth), Politico (Glenn Thrush, Olivia Petersen, Byers, Tau), WaPo, The Hill, TPM (Evan McMorris-Santoro), RCP (Erin McPike), Roll Call (Shira Toeplitz, Sujata Mitra), Metro Weekly, and even The Daily Caller, which has notoriously had atrocious relations with Smith, was present, but not many scribes there received invites.  Other conservative outlets represented at the party included the Washington Examiner (Philip Klein, Charlie Spiering, Nikki Schwab, Jenny Rogers) and Free Beacon (C.J. Ciaramella). Despite Breitbart.com‘s rabid insistence that Buzzfeed is an arm of the Obama Administration, both parties were repped. House Speaker John Boehner‘s Spokesman Michael Steel and ex-Maj. Leader Eric Cantor flak Brad Dayspring showed up as did Democratic Strategist and former Obama aide Bill Burton.

5. At approximately 8:30 p.m. Smith attempted a speech over the loud din. What we could hear: “It’s fun to see my friends from Politico here” and “I look forward to competing with them.”

4. Miller will be moving to D.C. but doesn’t have to relocate until after the election. He’s still looking for housing. Politico‘s Tau recommends his own hood, Columbia Heights. Tau says the resurrection of a Target and Best Buy has made the area a safe place to live.

LMAO: Awkward Encounters

3. Among the first people we saw was The Daily Caller‘s Michelle Fields (at left) in a tight bright red dress paired with, of course, the wood shop glasses. She approached mid-evening for introductions. All very civil. What wasn’t civil was our interaction with the Dweebmeister himself Ben Freed of DCist, who has trashed FBDC on countless occasions, which is perfectly acceptable, but don’t expect hugs. While we were chatting with The Atlantic Wire’s exceedingly polite John Hudson, he got right up in my left eye and wouldn’t leave. Finally, me: “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” Needless to say, the rest of that didn’t go well and Hudson was a little horrified. And this: Jeff Kearns (reeking of Bourbon) of Bloomberg approaches NJ Publicist Taylor West and acts like they’ve known each other from childhood. It was a first meeting, which Kearns struggled to understand even after Taylor called him “Tim.” Tim. Jeff. Is there a difference?

OMG: Coppins wife is preggers; FAIL: Coppins and McCollum flopped on a high five

2. Making the rounds we chatted with Coppins and McCollum. We asked if “McKay Coppins” is, in fact, his real name. He assured us it is and admitted to being teased about it in grade school. “But now it’s great because it’s very SEO friendly,” he said. “Not that it matters now that things are moving from search to social,” he added. At this, McCollum threw her hand up to mimick the motion of cracking a whip. “Yeah! On message!” she said. Coppins mistook the motion as an invitation for a high five. Putting his hand up to meet McCollum’s he missed. All agreed it was perfect GIF material. More news on Coppins: He’s been invited to move to Washington from New York. He hasn’t made up his mind yet, largely because he’s considering his wife’s needs. He let slip that she’s three months pregnant. Congratulations!

Dorsey

Love is in the air?

1. We heard from one buzzy who preferred to remain anonymous that Dorsey, the Sting doppelganger, was hit on by a bartender. After the female bartender told Shaw who he resembled, he answered “I’ll take it.” The bartender replied, “I’ll take it, too.”

More pictures after the jump…

Read more

DCist‘s Dweeb in Residence Ben Freed, who is dying to take over WaPo Ezra Klein‘s reign as FishbowlDC Fan Club President, wrote in Wednesday afternoon to whine about us not giving him a link. Rather than squabble with him over email or Twitter, we’re going to address him here. And while Freed is not an AnonymASS, we think the picture fits.

Hey Betsy! Thanks for the shout-out this morning. Quick request, if you’re going to quote a DCist story, however cheekily said story is written, would you mind throwing us a link? Here’s our article about The Daily Caller’s gun contest. Besides, we wouldn’t want your trusty readers to miss out on the fact that the story in question threw some traffic your way.