Quotes of the Day — the Election Day version

“This sign is on a window of a store that’s inside the security zone of Obama’s Des Moines rally.” — Yahoo! News’ Chris Moody with the accompanying photo.

Journo on line to vote before 7 a.m.

“My voting precinct is selling coffee for $1 to people in line. #waspy” — Matt Spence, The Times of London.

Uh oh.

“Dead to me.” — Breitbart.com editor John Nolte on New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie turning down Romney campaign event request.

Stop and buy the roses

“Attn: guys who have been too busy politicking to be nice to your ladies—roses are on sale $9.99/dozen @ Whole Foods today.” — Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner.

Guiding Sophia’s Light

“Respectfully I don’t give a rats butt about JayZ or Kid Rock!” – theGrio and Essence columnist Sophia Nelson on Obama and Romney musical supporters. Usually Sophia is spouting sermon’s on Twitter. On Monday she strayed.

Chuck Todd assesses nightmare election scenarios

“In place for Today Show, will have a look at some of the nightmare scenarios that could lead to indecision” — NBC’s Chuck Todd.

Spotted: Meg Ryan at Biden event

“Spotted on the cuts riser at Biden’s Richmond event, being opened with songs by her beau john Mellencamp: Meg Ryan.” — NBC News campaign embed reporter Carrie Dann.

Hallucinating D.C. Metro rider

“Saw a gent on metro who looked like a moustachioed Ari Shapiro. Was briefly convinced he’d got a disguise and made a thrilling escape.” — a D.C. woman calling herself Abbott Rabbit regarding the NPR White House Correspondent.

Keeping it Real: “Run into reporter from OTHER station at event tonight. Okay we have the same jobs, do we really have to make small talk? So BORING!” — ABC7′s Stephen Tschida.

Boybander has sex with vegetables?

“I can’t be the only one who makes stock while changing the lyrics of ‘Sexual Healing’ to be about vegetable peeling.” — Wired‘s Spencer Ackerman. We’re just kidding about the headline but couldn’t make rational sense of Spencer’s words.

Which journo gets to vote at the crack of dawn? And which news outlet takes to talking about campaign dildos?

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Quotes of the Day

From the Road

“Hurriedly shove things in bags, go to next location, discover what fell out of the bags. Repeat. #travel” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel.

“The crowd at this Romney-McCain event feels as sleepy as us folks in the press corps.” — NBC’s Chuck Todd.

“Hey, Cindy McCain in the house. #happieronthesidelines.” — PBS’s Gwen Ifill.

Eeks. ‘Smells like burning’

“Gingrich press bus is running power to a small city of laptops through one single cigarette lighter. Look out NH! #FITN” — Yahoo! News’s Chris Moody, who later added this minor detail: “Cig lighter being used to power entire bus of laptops on Newt Express smells like burning. Unplugging bc we don’t want to die. #FITN”

“The traveling press is rigging an elaborate series of converters, extension cords and power strips to get power on the bus #rovingfirehazard.” –Politico national reporter Ginger Gibson.

Whoa! Really?

“Fact: I now have Internet in my home.” — Roll Call‘s HOH writer Neda Semnani.

Breitbart’s impassioned plea to Rupert

“Hi, @rupertmurdoch! I’m over here! Notice me, please! I like you. You are smart! You have made great decisions! Hi, it’s me Andrew! I clean pools, too, @rupertmurdoch. I can drive. Well, even! Love to fly in helis! [That's what people who have helicopters call them!]” — BigGov Founder Andrew Brietbart to media mogul  Rupert Murdoch. And this is the Murdoch.

Writer has cold weather fashion advice

“If you’re walking around DC, and not wearing long underwear, you are losing badly.” — Marcus J. Moore, music journo for BBC and Washington City Paper.

Dear Twitter, it’s me, Eli

“Hi @twitter. It’s me, Eli. Let’s try to make Thursday a day where we start to dial back some of the put down humor.” — Newsweek‘s Eli Lake.

Dear Google, it’s me, Derek

“Dear @google, if I was interested in Gmail’s ‘new look’ I would have chosen it. Give us a permanent choice or stop screwing up your shit.” — Townhall.com and BigGov columnist Derek Hunter.

With an eye for fashion

“Fashion disaster on CNN – Rick Santorum in a bright red shirt and black sweater vest.” — TWT Senior Opinion writer Emily Miller. And Daily Kos and Congress Matters Contributing Editor David Waldman writes, “Can’t wait to have a President who’ll sit around the White House wearing a sweater vest, and fretting about the sex people might be having.”

The Media Critic

“Ed Schultz’s insults are strange. ‘…an endorsement from ‘Mr. Excitement’ John McCain,’ he says, rolling his eyes. Huh?” — Gawker Political Editor Jim Newell.

The inevitable Rob Corddry joke

“I got no problem w/recess appts. But for a guy from The Daily Show? I just don’t see that.” — TPM’s Editor Josh Marshall in reference to President Obama appointing Richard Cordray as Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) Director.

Punishing shoveler

“Every time it snows, I shovel sidewalk for every house on my block except the one at the corner owned by people my age, who never shovel.” — WCP Managing Editor Mike Madden.

Journo has outburst of sorts

“My laughter outburst just violated by own Quiet Car orthodoxy. Devil made me do it. By which I mean @louisck” — The Takeaway’s Congressional Radio Correspondent Todd Zwillich.

QUOTES of the DAY – the TIME‘s Mark Halperin Edition

MORE DICKS IN WASHINGTON POLITICS: On Thursday, TIME‘s Halperin called President Obama “kind of a d*ck” on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” and was suspended indefinitely from his role at the network as political analyst. Some think he’ll resurface on the program in a few weeks. Whether that happens or not, he became the hot topic this week amongst Washington’s journalists and beyond as we move unexpectedly from one weiner scandal to another.

“Been in France for a week and I’ve called EVERYONE a dick #dickgate”  — Publicist Courtney Cohen, formerly with ABC’s “This Week” in a Thursday tweet from Paris.

“I’m sorry, but this is crazy. Halperin’s crack was crude and dumb, but it doesn’t deserve indefinite suspension.” — WaPo‘s Greg Sargent in a Thursday blog post in The Plum Line.

“What Halperin meant to say was Obama is ‘kind of a Dick Nixon.’” — Slate‘s Jack Shafer in a Thursday tweet.

“I am trying to imagine under what circumstances I would as something like that with all those mics and cameras. I’m coming up blank.” –  NYT‘s Charles Blow in a Thursday tweet.

“Mark Halperin, I feel you buddy. Sometimes I wish our newsroom was on a 7-second delay too.” –  Fake Jim VandeHei in a Thursday tweet.

“Breaking: MSNBC Leans Forward, Gets DIcked! …Ironic tht u can’t say “dick” on MSNBC when they’re notorious for employing thm as show hosts.” — Conservative blogger and BigGovernment Contributor Mark Riehl in a Thursday tweet.

“This just doesn’t work as a scandal. The name Halperin is not inherently funny.” — Contributing Editor of Daily Kos and Congress Matters David Waldman in a Thursday tweet.

“Ask anyone outside of DC who Mark Halperin is. Blank stares will ensue. Too many in bubble don’t grasp this simple fact.” — Human Events‘ Tony Lee in a Thursday tweet.

“Waiting for O stmt on Halperin: ‘We don’t talk that way abt journos’ Laughtrack courtesy of WH press shop, Chicago mayor #retrievingoldemail “– Politico‘s Jonathan Allen in a Thursday tweet.

“Not much humidity in DC today. Gleeful schadenfreude is taking its place.” — The Hill‘s White House Correspondent Sam Youngman in a Thursday tweet.

Halperin’s most recent message on Twitter: “I want to offer a heartfelt and profound apology to the President and the viewers of Morning Joe.My remark was not funny.I deeply regret it.”

QUOTES of the LONG WEEKEND Part I

Meet Gennette Nicole Cordova: The now infamous 21-year-old college student from Seattle who received the tight underwear shot from Rep. Anthony Weiner‘s (D-N.Y.) twitter account. In a statement to the New York Daily News, she wrote, among many things, that her life has been turned upside down by this incident. She reported that she has been called the “Femme Fatale of Weinergate.” She added, “My reputation has been called into question by those who lack the character to report the facts.” Read the full letter here. The newspaper even gives her a byline. One of our favorite tweets from Gennette: “What the..!?! #weinergate wankers continue the ‘Where’s the ‘MSM?’ nonsense despite every NY outlet plus AP/CBS/WaPo/Fox etc. covering it.”

Fake Jim V. has advice for Politico reporter

“Ok srsly CHILL with the goddamn Reagan tweets.” — Fake Jim VandeHei in a weekend tweet. He was ridiculing Politico‘s James Hohmann for yet another tweet about the late President Reagan: “Drove pace car at ’76 Indy 500, during his primary challenge to Ford.”

Looking for Ezzy

“Gonna drive through Nags Head flipping the bird out the window the whole way, cuz I don’t know exactly which house @ezraklein is in. Woohoo!” — Daily Kos and Congress Matters Contributor David Waldman in a weekend tweet. Earlier, WaPo‘s Ezra Klein, who can’t wait to get back to FishbowlDC after the long weekend, announced that he was going to North Carolina’s Outer Banks for the weekend and wanted to know if anyone knew of a good BBQ place along the way. The ever finicky Ezzy, who eats peas and thickly cut bacon for breakfast, specified that he wanted North Carolina-style BBQ.

When you least expect it, this can happen…

“Just saw a deer wandering on the sidewalk among the row houses at 13th and Longellow NW. #imnotintexasanymore” — WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty in a weekend tweet.

‘I’m a Yuppie Goddammit!’

“Hilarious % of conversations w/ male friends at college reunion about diet and personal trainers. #trasitioningfromhipsterstoyuppies” — The Nation’s Washington Bureau Chief Chris Hayes in a weekend tweet presuming that he was once a “hipster” who has now transformed to “yuppie.” We typically write about Hayes’s penchant for writing and for reminding everyone that he’s a writer with our “I’m a Writer Goddammit!” series.

Editor has words with his painter

“I just successfully haggled w my house painter! Such a strain on my Midwestern niceness (But I’m sure painter is tweeting what a dupe I am.).” — WaPo‘s Book World Editor Ron Charles in a weekend tweet.

The Critic

“You’ll cover this old story but not #Weinergate?” — Derek Hunter, a conservative writer/radio host who helped found The Daily Caller, in a weekend tweet. This was in reaction to The Daily Beast‘s HowardKurtz who wrote: “Tiffanygate: Why Newt isn’t the only guy buying his wife lots of bling.” Hunter also grew annoyed with Kurtz after he wrote,”To twerps demanding I cover Weiner scandal: Appears fake. Sometimes it pays to wait for facts.” To which Hunter asked, “Isn’t it your job to find out?”

Orth encounters a new cocktail

“Love my SF Bay area where THE drink this weekend is a Bin Laden–two shots and a splash.” — VF‘s Maureen Orth in a weekend tweet.

Better than party favors

“At a party where everyone has worse problems than me.” –  Reason Magazine’s Mike Riggs in a weekend tweet.

Writer wants no part of the Weiner

“I think I’m giving up twitter until the Anthony Weiner issue has sorted itself out.” — National Review Online‘s Kathryn Lopez in a weekend tweet.

A seriously bold purchase

“Just bought a new *red* speedo….it’s been 20+ years since I had a red one.:)” — GOProud Co-founder Jimmy LaSalvia in a weekend tweet.

Journo hot on tail of roaring motorcycles

“Spotted: Rolling Thunder on 495 S. Or just A LOT of dudes on motorcycles. Following them to the Pentagon.” — HuffPost‘s Sara Kenigsberg in a weekend tweet.

The Observer

“Just saw enough people making the walk of shame that I now dub it the 15th Street Shame Parade.” — Roll Call HOH writer Neda Semnani in a weekend tweet.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“Main goal of the day: First stab at homemade mapo tofu.” — Metro Weekly Co-Publisher Sean Bugg holds his title with this weekend tweet about a popular tofu dish from the Szechuan province.

QUOTES of the DAY

MEAN MEN: Chris Matthews and Bill Maher are fat joke connoisseurs.

Maher makes Christie fat joke

“Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey, you know who I’m talking about, Governor Lard?” — HBO Real Time Host Bill Maher on MSNBC’s “Hardball” with Chris Matthews from Los Angeles Tuesday. He was discussing New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (pictured at right). Matthews also has a great affinity for Christie weight jokes. At an appearance last December at the Ritz in Georgetown, Matthews wondered how Christie was going to balance the budget — what was he going to do, start with, supper?

R Blogger Down on Matthews

“Chris Matthews doesn’t have a monopoly on stupid, but he certainly is in a position of market dominance.” — Conservative blogger Robert Stacy McCain in a Tuesday tweet.

A nice blend of weirdness

“Quick glance at Twitter tells me Schwarzenegger got the D.C. panda pregnant. Also, the panda just left @TBD for a job at Huffpo.” – Joshua Hatch, adjunct professor at American University, in a Tuesday tweet.

Airport reading diet

“Hour 5 at LAX. Inevitable mag buying binge has occured, financed by delta food voucher. #priorities.” — Politico health care reporter Sarah Kliff in a Tuesday tweet with the accompanying photograph.

The Observer

“Washington DC is a city full of young, neatly dressed people who actuate their ambition through deference.” — Former NYT scribe Jennife 8. Lee in recent tweet.

Devious journo

“I just confused some lost Italian tourists in Adams Morgan by using the Latin ‘Quo vadis?’ thinking they would easily understand.” — WCP Asst. Managing Editor Michael Grass in a Tuesday tweet. The phrase means “Where are you going” or the more commonly used, “Whither goest thou?”

DSK sex scandal banter continues…

“DSK spends $3000 a night on a hotel room. What so many could do w/ that kind of money. Like pay for my dental surgery!” — NPR Ombudsman Alicia Shepard in a Tuesday tweet.

Journo-Nasty

“We checked for a ‘Washington Post MasterClass’ on how to revive a dying news publication but, alas, nothing.” — A line in the Tuesday evening edition of HuffPost Hill. WaPo is offering new classes in everything from digital photography to Inside China to The Wines of Bordeaux.

An aide’s compassion for pols

“Even when politicians screw up, I can’t help but feel a little sorry for them when pundits openly mock, laugh, and ridicule them mercilessly.” — Sen. Jim DeMint’s (R-S.C.) Communications Advisor Amanda Carpenter in a Wednesday morning tweet.

Schwarzenneger sex scandal joke…

“Maria Shriver announces plans to cut off Arnold’s ‘Gang of Two.’” — Congress Matters and Daily Kos Contributing Editor David Waldman in a Tuesday tweet.

QUOTES of the DAY

Anchoring while blonde, female

“Do men get these? RT @towelheadradio: @kirstenpowers10 shut the fuck up u dumb ugly slut. only reason u got ur job is cause ur blonde.” — FNC Democratic political analyst Kirsten Powers in a Sunday tweet. She appears on “Fox News Sunday” and “Special Report with Bret Baier” among other FNC programs. Do other blonde anchors in and around Washington cope with similar comments? Write us and let us know at FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com.

Mortman calls time on White House Xmas decorations

“Sad that Natl Christmas tree at WH was toppled by wind. But it’s been up since 1978? Boy, people ARE slow taking down their Xmas decorations.” — C-SPAN Communications Director Howard Mortman in a weekend tweet.

Bugg faces stinky times at bar

“Oh yay, stinky guy with a cough decided to sit right next to me at bar. Wondering if I can subtly move down two seats. Or five.” — Metro Weekly Co-Publisher Sean Bugg in a Sunday tweet. This is officially the second time that Bugg has not made “Unnecessary Tweet of the Day.” He may be on a roll.

Reporter’s plane stuck on tarmac

“Sitting on tarmac at DCA, trying to get to Cleveland-captain tells us there is “freezing fog” out there.” — ABC News White House reporter Karen Travers in a weekend tweet.

Journo admits to uncontrollable stomach noises

“Frightening coworkers with strange stomach growling noises since 1998.” — WaPo Express News Editor Sara Schwartz in a weekend tweet.

A vital question…

“Why are there so many celebrity BBQ sauces but no celebrity mayonnaise?” — Politico‘s Molly Ball in Sunday tweet.

Blogger reacts to CNN’s all-female Lara Logan segment

“Watching “Reliable Sources” on the Lara Logan story, and there is fucking smoke coming out of my ears.” — Mediaite‘s White House Correspondent Tommy Christopher in a weekend tweet. He added, “The Reliable Sources panel was spot-on on the Lara Logan story, articulating things that have left me unable to use my words.”

Stelter sets record straight on CNN claim

“Correcting CNN’s claim: before @BenCNN entered Libya, the BBC had a correspondent there. She has been reporting anonymously from Tripoli.” — NYT‘s media writer Brian Stelter in a Sunday tweet.

See White House reporter wash, cook, and run

“Did laundry, make chicken stock and ran 10 miles. I call this a productive day, indeed. ” — AP‘s Phil Elliott in a Sunday tweet.

A scribe’s lesson in church

“Sunday school lesson is love your enemies. A challenging one for Miss Miller to teach!” — Human Events Senior Editor Emily Miller in a weekend tweet. Staying on the subject, Miller also wrote, “Jesus said, the sun shines and the rain falls on the righteous and evil just the same. He loves all equally. GRRR.”

Journo unearths old, now smelly, turkey in car

“Mrs. Fix said car smelled. Search through trunk revealed a whole, store bought turkey that never made frig. G-R-O-S-S.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza in a Sunday tweet.

Just so wrong…

“RT @rollcall: 11AM: @rollcall’s @cbellantoni on CNN’s Reliable Sources… just back from VA JJ Dinner. || There’s a vajayjay dinner?” — Daily Kos Contributing Editor and Congress Matters’ David Waldman in a weekend tweet.