Just as we were flipping around the cable news networks last night looking for a fresh take on the Oscar Pistorious murder case, a new look at those blades at least, we realized no one was on it. So we settled for the next best thing: CNN’s Anderson Cooper and one hair clip short of a ponytaled Nancy Grace in full discussion about the Jodi Arias trial. Back and forth they went, marveling over Jody’s drastic dye job and how she couldn’t remember stabbing her boyfriend some 30 times.

And then who comes vaulting out of the Twitter peanut gallery and ruins it for us? Read more

On ABC’s political drama “Scandal” last night, viewers were treated to a plot that would make even the ice-covered Hillary Clinton say, “Damn, that’s cold.”

Having just suffered a serious head injury from an attempted assassination, the fictional President Fitzgerald Grant is ready to divorce his very pregnant wife Mellie so that he can finally be with his side piece Olivia Pope without feeling guilty. As in real life, this would be political suicide, but Grant is ready to go through with it.

Mellie and Cyrus Beene, Grant’s chief of staff, are both animals in politics who don’t want to lose their places in the White House. So, Beene tells Mellie that if she has “one last trick” up her sleeve to change Grant’s mind, it is the time to use it.

What does Mellie do? With four weeks left in her pregnancy, she walks into the doctor’s office with a smile on her face and has a medically induced labor, apparently without an epidural, as she can be seen at the end of the episode screaming and looking sweatier than former Democratic Rep. David Wu in a costume shop. Grant rushes to Mellie’s side to hold her hand and help her through the process.

Here’s how it would happen in real life… Read more

CBS Political News Director John Dickerson is defending himself from critics who say he has exposed his personal favoritism for President Obama.

Last week, Dickerson wrote a controversial piece for Slate that said Obama should “go for the throat!” and “declare war” on the Republican Party in his second term. An excerpt:

“Obama’s only remaining option is to pulverize. Whether he succeeds in passing legislation or not, given his ambitions, his goal should be to delegitimize his opponents. Through a series of clarifying fights over controversial issues, he can force Republicans to either side with their coalition’s most extreme elements or cause a rift in the party that will leave it, at least temporarily, in disarray.”

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh highlighted the column on his program yesterday. “This is your media,” he told the audience. “This is who they are. This is what they want to happen.  This is what they are advocating, and this is what they will support.”

FoxNews.com also weighed in … Read more

That Paula Broadwell is the big get for this year’s White House Correspondent’s Dinner. Last year it was actress and perpetual bad girl Lindsay Lohan, who was a guest of FNC’s Greta Van Susteren and attorney husband, John Coale. A year earlier, they brought Kim Kardashian.

May the best news outlet win Broadwell.

Who will bring General David Petreous? If Broadwell attends, that’ll be the other big “get” of the evening.

Quotes of the Day

“No White House photos from family meetings. But the family of Emilie Parker, who was 6, released this on their own.” — Paul Brandus of West Wing Reports.

TIPS FROM THE POOL, INTO THE DEEP END: “Deep female sobs were heard from several sections of the audience, as the president started to read the names of the teachers who were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary school. …The president is speaking without a teleprompter and he carried his remarks in a dark folder. ” — A White House Pool Report by AFP’s Stephen Collinson on President Obama‘s speech in Newtown, Conn. last night.

Confessional: “I keep having this one horrible thought: I am lying when I tell my children there’s no such thing as monsters.” — ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper in starkly shifting roles over the weekend between reporter and private citizen. He received a lot of praise but some complaints.

Journo pushes gun control laws

“If we as a nation got serious about keeping guns away from the mentally disturbed, Louie Gohmert *would* have reason to be concerned.” — Mother Jones Engagement Editor and former Survivor: Baghdad contestant Adam Weinstein on Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), who went on Fox News Sunday this weekend and announced that more guns are the answer to mass killings such as the one at Sandy Hook.

A mayor, former White House COS changes his mind on guns

“President Clinton and I fought to pass the assault weapons ban. It’s time to renew and strengthen it. An easy vote.” — Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel. But wait, The New Yorker‘s Ryan Lizza points out the mayor’s incredible hypocrisy…Read here.

And an editor addresses what evil is not…

“Evil has nothing to do with Autism, Asperger’s, or being goth.” — CNN Contributor and Breitbart.com‘s Dana Loesch.

A moment of tweeting silence?

“I won’t be tweeting during President’s remarks. I think we should all listen carefully.” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

Whoa, what?! “Friend of mine joined NRA this morning. Sleeper mole trying to change org from inside. Will they support more limitations and licensing?” — Washingtonian Publisher Cathy Merrill Williams.

A compliment for CNN: “CNN is doing a segment on comfort dogs being brought to Newtown to help people cope. It’s actually comforting just watching them on TV.” — HuffPost‘s Sam Stein.

Journalistic outrage

“Yesterday’s orgy of erroneous & at times repulsively awful reporting on #Newtown should be a wakeup call for journalists everywhere.” — Roll Call White House reporter Steven Dennis.

“You see journalists saying ‘this is so awful, why does this keep happening’ while rabidly posting links to the killer’s social media.” — Justin Green, editor of David Frum’s blog.

“Not the best day for my trade.” — TIME White House correspondent Michael Scherer with a link to a story on outlets that botched the Connecticut shooting story.

Congratulations to… FNC’s Greta Van Susteren and hubby John Coale on 33 years of marriage. They celebrated on Sunday.

TV journo planned to spend weekend in prayer… Read more

Quotes of the Day

SEAT WITH A VIEW: “Fantastic morning window view on Amtrak to DC.” — Callie Schweitzer, Director of Marketing and Projects for Vox Media, former Deputy Publisher of TPM.

DECADENT DINING: “What a glorious way to wake up: a doughnut muffin. Yes, you read that correctly.” — Nevin Martell, food writer author of Looking for Calvin and Hobbes.

Journo begs world to write him

“You’re all sitting on media news and you don’t even know it. Email me: dbyers@callmemaybe.com” — Politico‘s Dylan Byers who was having a slow day Monday? We may or may not have made up the last part of his email address. We didn’t know Politico allowed funky email addresses as the topic is not in the ethics manual.

Glenn Beck cares for dying dog

“Up tonight again with victor. I fear he is reaching his last days. Our family will be rocked. He is the best dog and a member of the family.” — Glenn Beck at 4:24 a.m.

Real Headline from HuffPost: “These pills will make you defecate real gold”

Are spokesmen allowed to have personal opinions?

“Just my personal opinion but shame on the @AP for digging into the Arizona lottery winner’s life. He should have a right to anonymity. — NRSC Spokesman and Drakkar Noir-loving Brian Walsh.

Oprah Van Susteren never stops

“BLOG (I had the night off .. but I still want to know what you thought about tonight’s show!)” — FNC Greta Van Susteren.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day… Read more

In which we check in with Gretawire to see what Van Susteren is chatting about and what her boisterous fan club is saying back.

Take a gander at Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren “Gretawire” blog. She plays host to a community like no other.

In a morning post, Van Susteren ran a comment from one of her readers. Van Susteren had asked readers if their co-workers are “enthusiastic about their jobs.” The comments soon came pouring in.

Here’s the comment the reader left in full:

“I told you before, it is all about coming to work 10 minutes late, starrting [sic] to eat their breakfast at their desk, 3 breaks in the morning, microwave popcorn all day, taking smoke breaks, playing on the computer and iPhone, gossiping about co workers, alienating those that are trying to be productive and positive, and shutting down the computer 20 minutes before your shift ends to use the bathroom or whatever.”

Van Susteren highlighted that comment, urging readers to “run from” anyone who might resemble this reader in the work place.

And with that, another chain of responses from loyal readers. Here are the top six:

6. “Catgirl” finds chicken bones, gay diary:

“There was a person who used my desk at night after I left for the day. Every morning I’d come in and have to wipe off the coffee rings and crumbs. One day I was smelling something funny and I was looking all over for it. Seemed to get worse by the day… 2 or 3 days later I found the source… some chicken bones in a far dark corner under my desk.

“At one time I had temps coming in for the evening. One morning I found WordPerfect files w/strange names. Turns out the guy was keeping a journal of his gay exploits in great detail and presumably forgot to transfer them to a disk. I didn’t read them all… the first couple paragraphs were enough.”

Read more

Quotes of the Day – Election Banter

“Holy. Cow. The magic wall… Is ON THE FLOOR” — The Atlantic Associate Editor Brian Fung.

Green Eggs and Ham — why not?

“Mic check guy just read ‘Green Eggs & Ham,’ in its entirety, at Obama election night HQ. Now reading the Constitution.” — HuffPost‘s Jennifer Bendery.

All in a day’s work

“2 stories & 2,600 words already written today, the last 1,000 drunk will be tougher.” — InTheseTimes labor journo Mike Elk.

5:51 p.m. Famous Last Words

“CONFIDENCE: Romney tells the traveling press he FEELS like a win is coming. He’s written only one speech so far: a victory speech.” — NBC News’ Garrett Haake.

Foreshadowing….5:51 p.m.

“Some rare, non spin on twitter –> RT @jmartpolitico: A senior GOPer w close ties to Romneyland emails a single word: ‘worried.’” — HuffPost‘s Sam Stein.

In response to that… “So people in Romney camp sending out nervous messages to liberal reporters? Really? Wonder how big the camp is.” — Commentary‘s PodWhore (a.k.a. John Podhoretz.)

Reporters and Romney staff clap: the end is near

“Applause on Romney plane — from reporters and staff — as we land in Boston. Final flight of Romney 2012 campaign is over.” — AP‘s Steve Peoples.

Oops! Flack gets ahead of herself: 6:03 p.m.

“I’m not saying this to get ahead of myself, but is Obama capable of giving a graceful concession speech? I’m not sure.” — Amanda Carpenter, speechwriter for Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.).

Channeling Carville

“Carville (paraphrase): If Romney loses Virginia he’s in more trouble than a three-legged, cross-eyed gator on a freeway. #election2012″ — National Journal mag Deputy Editor James Oliphant on Democratic pundit James Carville.

And another thing on Carville…“For god’s sake someone either tighten Carville’s tie or unbutton his top button.” — TPM‘s Evan McMorris-Santoro. And this…“On CNN, James Carville is so excited he seems to have removed his exoskeleton.” — Vanity Fair.

Unraveling…7:17 p.m.

“It’s 7:20 and my nerves are already shot. #ElectionDay2012 #TeamRomney” — MSNBC and The Daily Beast‘s Meghan McCain.

Watch your words around the kiddies, journo warns

“Careful y’all: Your kids are learning a lot about how to win and lose graciously by how you act today.” — Politico‘s Patrick Gavin.

Attack on Trump minus his name

“Is there anyone who punches further below their weight than rich guys who dabble in politics?” — BuzzFeed Political Editor Ben Smith.

From the Road…“AT THIS POINT: crowd at Dem HQ is ready to cheer for nearly anything. Just screamed like Obama being up in Minnesota is 1980 gold. #openbar” — CNN’s Lisa Desjardins.

 ’Saucy’ Meghan Kelly

“Meghan Kelly is serving #curlytopsaucy tonight on Fox.” — Bravo’s Andy Cohen.

Politico reporters: Relax? Forget it!

“To all the road-weary reporters who just want a break: Congrats! You’ll be sitting in the Senate press gallery for the next 9 months.” — Fake Jim VandeHei, faux Twitter account to Politico Executive Editor Jim VandeHei.

Important, Embarrassing Question to Ponder: “So Megyn Kelly had to get white men in suits to confirm that Obama would go to Ohio. (Because her audience wouldn’t believe her?)” — Reuter‘s Megan McCarthy.

 In praise of Nate Silver’s ass

“I think Nate Silver deserves a ‘tell me how my ass tastes’ moment, right?” — HuffPost‘s Jason Linkins.

Journos react to FNC Karl Rove’s TV breakdown

• “Karl Rove looks like a kid who just learned there’s no Santa Claus.” — TPM‘s Sahil Kapur.

• “Fox is gone full bananaspants.” — The Guardian‘s Ana Marie Cox.

• “Barone explaining to Rove why Obama gonna win OH like watching someone explain to little kid that his dog died.” — Bloomberg‘s Joshua Green, referencing The Washington Examiner‘s Michael Barone.

•  ”Email from big GOP donor: ‘Karl looks like a fool.’” — Politico‘s Ken Vogel.

• “Bret Baier is now trying to figure out how to balance Karl Rove’s petulance and the FNC ‘decision desk.’ Train wreck.” — ClearChannel’s Colby Hall.

• “Rove has basically bullied the Fox hosts into backing off from their call of the election. Amazing TV.” — The New Yorker‘s Ryan Lizza.

• “Fox thinks it’s up to them who wins. It’s not up to them. It’s over guys. (But please keep this up, this is amazing TV.” — HuffPost‘s Ryan Grim.

And Greta tries to inject a dollop of sanity…

“Fox News says President Obama re-elected.” — FNC anchor Greta Van Susteren at 11:34 p.m.

Speaking of delusional…“I’m neither naive nor optimistic. Just saying I refuse to give up. R some of u telling me ur going to throw in the towel? I don’t think so.” — David Limbaugh, author and brother to conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh, after Obama won Ohio.

Depression is…

“Gay marriage, pot, an elated media, and Obama… Yeah, I’ve had better nights.” — Breitbart.com editor John Nolte.

Plouffe Daddy!

“Congrats on a ground game well-played, Plouffe Daddy.” — Freelance video journo for Wonkette and other outlets Liz Glover, referencing Obama campaign advisor David Plouffe.

Uh oh…where’s Romney? 12:11 a.m. 

“Danger for Romney is that if he delays concession too long he’ll look like a sore loser.12:11 still no concession.” — The Daily Mail‘s Toby Harnden, nearly one hour after NBC called the race for Obama.

Outside the White House: 12:33 a.m.

“People are climbing the trees outside of the White House. Total mayhem.” — BuzzFeed’s Rebecca Berg.

Find some inspiration with ex-Love Connection host Chuck Woolery and take notice of a few R’s who handled the loss with maturity…. Read more

Hell hath no fury like a Greta Van Susteren scorned.

In a recent editorial, WaPo admitted they dropped the ball on the Benghazi murders story. They did it in a roundabout way because admitting failure is simply not how the WaPo rolls.

In their editorial, editors felt the need to take a swipe at Fox News, the only outlet that didn’t involve regurgitating White House talking points. The Post rights, “Fox’s aggressive reporting, though undercut by blustery and often scurrilous commentary, nevertheless seems to have prompted the CIA and Pentagon to provide reporters with their accounts of Sept. 11…” (emphasis added by Greta.)

Greta writes… Read more

The story portrayed in Ben Affleck‘s new movie, Argo, has a special place for attorney John Coale, who is married to FNC anchor Greta Van Susteren. For one thing, back in the day he represented three of the six hostages portrayed in the movie in a lawsuit against Iran. For another, it led him to the love of his life.

The year was 1979. In December, the Iranians let the African Americans and women go free after about a month. Canadians assisted the six hostages in the movie in getting out of the country. “I filed suit for most of theses diplomats in December of ’79 way before the rest were freed,” Coale explained to FishbowlDC. “This really pissed off the Carter administration. Part of the deal to free the other hostages after 444 days was that my suits had to be dismissed.”

Coale remembers threats on his life. “The suits were a big deal to the Iranians,” he said. “I had death threats etc from the crazy Iranians plus I was not high on the State Department’s list of people they liked.”

On the upside, the experience led him to his wife. “The great thing about it for me was that I hired Greta to do research, fell in love and the rest, as they say, is history.”