Quotes of the Day

A real HuffPost headline: “This kitten is unstoppable at ping pong”

Looks like Wolf’s nickname is sticking

“Sen. Ayotte called Wolf Blitzer “Blitz” on @AC360 just now.” — Former Herman Cain spokeswoman Ellen Carmichael. As everyone can recall, it was Cain who first slipped up and called CNN’s Wolf Blitzer “Blitz.”

Journo witnesses real life in-flight episode of Intervention

“This girl strung out on something just turned my entire flight experience into an episode of Intervention.” — Politico Pro producer Caitlin Emma, en route to D.C. from Boston. She continued, “They let this girl board the plane even though she was so high she was incapacitated! Crazy. Made it to DC though!”

Phillipe Cousteau: Engaged. The D.C. bachelor (and son of Jacque) is reportedly off the market. So far the bride-to-be is a mystery, with Facebook observers referring to her as “mermaid” and “lucky lady.”

Reporters complain of ugly nude protestors

“Dear naked protestors, please take lessons from PETA and at least make us want to stare at your naked hot protestor super models.” — CNN Contributor and RedState‘s Erick Erickson in reference to a nude AIDS activists who showed up to House Speaker John Boehner’s office Tuesday. Yes they were arrested. Yes, the cameras kept rolling. See pictures here.

At least PETA hires hotties when it has nude protests. — FBDC and TheBlaze‘s Eddie Scarry.

A quick memo… from Fake Jim VandeHei to National Journal Editor-in-Chief Ron Fournier, who is stepping down and becoming a national correspondent: “Ron Fournier, some of us write AND edit.” Taking a more glass half full approach, former Politico reporter and current White House correspondent for The Hill Amie Parnes sails in with this: “Ron Fournier, writing is so much better than editing. welcome back!”

A note from a congressional reporter turned fashion critic… Read more

(A Sprinkling of Things we Think you Ought to Know…)

Daily Caller Wins for Best Headline – A man in Louisiana alleges that he spotted former GOP Presidential candidate Herman Cain filming a sex tape in the bathroom of a Pizza Hut with Kim Kardashian. That’s not even the craziest part of the story. The Daily Caller reports that the man is looking for a restraining order against the former pizza man alleging that when Cain was recognized doing the deed with Kim K, he “pelted him with breadsticks, and the reality star hit him in the face with a pan pizza “straight out of the [o]ven.” The Daily Caller shoots the story down with their headline, “Herman Cain probably did not make a sex tape with Kim Kardashian in a Pizza Hut restroom.” Well, damn. I had a whole stockpile of possible movie titles if they were making a skin flick. “Meat Lovers“, “Make My Breadstick Rise” and “Did You Put Anchovies on This?”

Buzzfeed Reaches Parody Level – McSweeney’s has put out a list of “SUGGESTED BUZZFEED ARTICLES” in a piece that does an impressive job of capturing the essence of Buzzfeed. Some of our favorite ideas include:

• The 100 Filthiest Bathrooms in Philadelphia

• 6 Pics of Matt Lauer Swinging at a Cop

• 12 Movie Plots Involving Trash Compactors (Sponsored)

• 10 Peaches That Resemble Pat Sajak

Not to be outdone, Buzzfeed ACTUALLY did a post entitled, 10 Peaches That Resemble Pat Sajack. Which made me think of a new suggested Buzzfeed article:  “9 Lists of Suggested Buzzfeed Articles that Buzzfeed will most likely parody.” Have one you’d like to submit? Write us at FishbowlPeter@gmail.com or FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com.

Chris Matthews Should See A Doctor About that Tingle – The open adulation of Chris Matthews for POTUS continues to be an issue for the newsman. He recently said that Obama was the “perfect Father, the perfect Husband, the perfect American.” Naturally, Twitter had a field day with this and reacted. Twitchy gathered up some of the best reactions. Our personal favorite is @LibertyLetters, who writes that Matthews must have “The Mount Vesuvius of leg thrills.”

In this week’s episode of “5 Things You Need to Know This Week,” Herman Cain sings about sexual harassment, Justin Bieber has a baby with Kate Middleton (I think I have that right), and nobody seems to know the whereabouts of Matt Lauer. Plus, we debut the 1st annual “Where in the World is ‘Five Things You Need to Know This Week?’”

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