Quotes of the Day

This is your brain. This is your brain on Salon.

“Reading that Salon article was like killing brain cells without the benefit of alcohol.” — Conservative radio correspondent Dana Loesch.

Maybe a slight exaggeration?

“He makes things difficult for me when he does things like trespassing.” — Jenny Sanford, former loving (?) wife of former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford (R) to the AP in this story. Not that she shouldn’t be irate about the cheating and the lying, but he couple has four sons together. Just maybe that had to do with his “trespassing.”

Political operator feels mixed on new specs

“I can see really well with my new glasses that arrived today…just not wild about how they look on me. Oh well, at least I can see.” — GOProud founder Jimmy LaSalvia (the actual glasses are pictured above).

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 8:47 a.m.

Advice columnist counsels aides who want to leave Capitol Hill

“Leave on the best terms possible. All your current co-workers — from the crazy one you complain about to Hill Navigator to the one who eats tuna for lunch at a desk 4 inches from your own — will become valuable contacts once you turn in your keys and BlackBerry.” — Roll Call’s “Hill Navigator” writer Rebecca Gale. Read the full column here.

Important Q to Ponder: “Why do TV news anchors say ‘lower extremities’ instead of ‘legs’?” — TWT senior opinion writer Emily Miller.

Writer thinks PETA has questionable priorities

“PETA just announced cows are being abused on a farm. So when Boston, N. Korea, Gosnell and the economy are taken care of, there’s that.” — @HistoricOswald‘s Peter Savodnik, author of The Interloper to be published later this year and formerly a reporter for The Hill.

Journo awed by Thatcher funeral

“There are few things as haunting & beautiful as the voices of boys’ choir in a cathedral funeral service. #Thatcher.” — Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham. The funeral aired on CSPAN2 this morning.

Could you care less about this?

“Pet peeve: when people say ‘could care less’ instead of ‘couldn’t care less.’ — Fox News Senate Producer Kara Rowland.

Hollywood on the Potomac interviews NBC’s Tom Brokaw on the Riacin incident.

Sigh. Only in Washington does this sort of horrible thing occur.

Last week Roll Call‘s Features section held a Capitol Quip contest. Today they ran the winning caption and it involved — of course — taxes and cherry blossoms. Everyone hates taxes and at this point no one gives a crap about the cherry blossoms that have mostly blown away after contributing profoundly to allergy sufferers’ snot and sinus issues and creating road rage-inducing traffic jams we’d rather not think about. Could it be conservative radio host Laura Ingraham, who recently griped about President Obama potentially taxing people for each cherry blossom that they view? Roll Call doesn’t reveal the name of the winner, but says he or she will receive a signed color print they can frame from the publication’s cartoonist R.J. Matson.

The contest itself is mildly fun. But taxing and cherry blossoms wasn’t funny when Ingraham made the joke to make her conservative Twitter fan club go berserk and it’s still not even fake smile funny a week later. Readers apparently chose the winner after editors picked five potential victorious captions. A slightly funny option (they were all pretty awful): “This is nice, but until Congress gets their act together, I fear it’s all just bloom and gloom.” Maybe the plan ought to be nixed next time if they’re going to choose so badly — and we mean the editors and the readers. See here.

Apparently this is going to be a weekly thing fiasco. See this week‘s contest here. Crossing our fingers for next week.

One of the hazards of working in partisan media is that everywhere you look, whether it’s at a spreadsheet or a humming bird, there’s an ideological point to be made. Enter conservative radio host Laura Ingraham.

“Blossom traffic on the way to Fox News,” Ingraham tweeted Tuesday morning. “How long before Obama taxes us per Cherry blossom viewed?” The tweet has since been retweeted 22 times and favorited 14.

This is what, in the media echo chambers, is known as “a joke.” It isn’t particularly funny, but it lets the reader know that Ingraham isn’t a fan of President Obama and that she thinks he supports taxing too many things. Her cheerleaders, who likely already knew this much about Ingraham, chimed in to show solidarity. Read more

We all spread ourselves too thin. If you work in daily online media you know the feeling of working late, being bleary-eyed and making brainless errors you kick yourself over later. Until you make more and land in a monster pit of despair. We’ve been there and we’ll be there again.

But today, Daily Download founder, CNN “Reliable Sources” regular and Daily Beast Contributor Lauren Ashburn goes to the well of mistakes 10 times in a story timestamped April 8 on cable’s gender wars and the snarl between FNC’s Bill O’Reilly and conservative radio host Laura Ingraham last week.

One. Two. Even three errors? Fine, forgivable. A terrible given at times in a world where copy editors are scarce. But 10 looks like you took too much Ambien and wrote the story while driving to 7-Eleven after consuming a midnight snack you can’t remember eating. Let’s be honest. Ten looks like Denzel Washington in Flight in which he gets obliterated, wakes up to lines of coke, downs one or five screwdrivers and turns the plane upside down.

Does someone need a few days at the beach?

Also curious, at the bottom is a note explaining that the story first appeared in The Daily Beast, which, in fact, it did on April 5 under Ashburn’s byline and this headline:

Bill O’Reilly’s Macho Moment in On-Air Confrontation With Laura Ingraham

Compare this to Daily Download‘s headline:

Cable’s Gender Wars: Bill O’Reilly Vs. Laura Ingraham

The explanatory note reads: “This piece brought to you through our content partnership with The Daily Beast, where it first appeared.”

As many know, Howard Kurtz, on the board of The Daily Download, also writes for Daily Beast-Newsweek and hosts CNN’s “Reliable Sources.” And Ashburn herself is a Daily Beast contributor, as stated above. But strangely enough, only a fraction of the errors turned up in The Daily Beast‘s story — just one, the incorrect spelling of “smoothe.” Which means something went incredibly awry when they transferred the story. Maybe try cut and pasting?

We requested comment from Ashburn on the “content partnership” between The Daily Download and The Daily Beast and what exactly that means. We also mentioned the 10 errors in case she has a comment on those.

See the parade of errors in the Daily Download story…

Read more

Quotes of the Day

TV journo hates himself?  

“Dear Toure, I just wanted you to know I hate you. Have a nice day.” — MSNBC’s Touré.

Got questions for the President? “Last call– send me your questions for President Obama. I’ll be sitting down for an exclusive interview w/him later today.” — ABC “This Week” and “GMA” host George Stephanopoulos at the crack of dawn.

Irony is…

“When I left a daylong event focused on ideas to make the world a better place, the driver ahead of me threw 2 soda cans out his car window.” — Tracy Sefl, elite media communications specialist.

Dumbass Pitches

“I may technically be a senior editor at TNR, but please stop sending me pitches about healthy tanning.” — TNR‘s Julia Ioffe.

Gone crazy?

“I’VE BEEN DRINKING 32 OZ COKES ALL NIGHT AND I FEEL FINE SO WHATEVER, BLOOMBERG” — Slate‘s Dave Weigel, whose gut is verrry angry with him today.

The Observer: “Hey TeeVee, I’m officially tired of the chyron ‘Pope & Change.’ The Catholic Church is over 2,000 years old. Plenty of time to be clever” — National Journal “The Hotline’s” Chris Peleo-Lazar.

The Observer II: “Some days, Morning Joe is like watching a couple on the verge of divorce try to keep from destroying each other.” — The Raw Story‘s Jesse Taylor, a former internet consultant to Jerry Springer’s political group and radio show.

Washington (and others) react to ABC’s “The Bachelor” Finale

“Catherine had three months to get rid of the nose ring and get a haircut. #teamlindsey #bachelor.”  — TWT senior op-ed writer and a show diehard Emily Miller.

“Emily’s lesson from #The Bachelor? If Mr. Dreamboat is making out with several other girls on nat’l TV & telling you how special u r–run.” — Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham. (She’s not referring to Emily above, but rather Emily Maynard, former Bachelorette and former contestant on “The Bachelor.”)

Important Q to Never Ponder: “Am I the only one way more interested in seeing Sean and Lindsay together on this show – than Sean and Catherine?? #bachelor” — FNC’s Shannon Bream. Commentary’s Jon Podhoretz replied, “@ShannonBream you and Lucifer.”

“Sat across the isle from Chris Harrison of The Bachelor on a plane from Austin to L.A. A very nice guy. I understand his success.” — Libertarian activist and ex-game show host Chuck Woolery.

“Thailand sucks for getting dumped. Can’t eat thai food again without breaking down in tears. #thebachelor” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

“Taking off your shoes after getting dumped…power move. You’ll be fine Linds. #Bachelor.”– Media Matters Publicist Jess Levin.

A Washington photographer converses with his dog and two journos converse about uncooked pizza.  Read more

Quotes of the Day — State of the Union-Fugitive Edition

SOTU quotes that are fit for a Fishbowl: “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” — brought to our attention by HuffPost‘s Sam Stein‘s Twitter feed. It’s an old quote from former President George W. Bush. And this: “At least there’s no smoked fish joke in this one.” — Mother Jones‘ Nick Baumann.

“The outside of the Dome on SOTU night.” – Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner with accompanying photograph.

Shut up SOTU clappers, journo wants his Zzzz’s

“Dear applauders: Please stop. I have a bedtime.” — WaPo‘s Chris Cillizza.

Importantish Q to Ponder: “So… Does Senator Menendez shake President Obama’s hand as he walks in? Awkward. #SOTU” — NRSC Strategist Brad Dayspring.

Important Q to Ponder: “So does CNN break away from the burning house to do the State of the Union.” — TPM‘s Josh Marshall.

Important Q to Ponder III: “What’s the over/under on the number of Nicorette patches John Boehner has plastered all over himself right now?” — Times of London‘s Matt Spence.

THE SPEAKER AND THE LOUDMOUTH: “Luke Russert shakes Speaker Boehner’s hand as he walks to the chamber for SOTU.” — NBC House of Representatives Producer Frank Thorp. Boehner affectionately (we think) refers to Russert as the “loudmouth.”

Rothenberg crushes the spirit of political reporters

“Political reporters always incredibly excited by SOTU. Real people not so much.” — Stu Rothenberg, who writes a column for Roll Call, a publication full of political reporters. And then, oddly, he writes, “My first SOTU inside the chamber? 1970 when I was Colby College intern in Ed Muskie’s office. AA gave me ticket.” Um, hey Stu, do real people give a sh-t about this?

Speaking of excitement…

“The hallway outside Sen. Durbin’s office smells overwhelmingly of barbecue.” — Roll Call‘s Shiner of the Illinois Democrat.

And again…

“Just spoke to Gabby Giffords for the first time since the day before she was shot. She looks amazing. Twinkle in her eye and broad smile.” — CNN Chief Congressional Correspondent Dana Bash.

“Senate page just said in Statuary Hall ‘Oh my God. Kelly Ayotte is rocking the mint-green!’ I am partial to Bader Ginsberg‘s red.” — Roll Call‘s Abby Livingston.

“McCain ribbing Kerry as he walks by.” — Politico‘s Manu Raju.

“Rep. Terry Sewell is the most energetic greeter of the House! Urrybody gets a kiss and big laugh and a thousand watt smile.” — BuzzFeed Washington Bureau Chief John Stanton.

“Lots of schmoozing with former colleagues as Secy Kerry makes his way down the aisle.” — CBS White House radio correspondent Mark Knoller.

“Whoever said that politics is showbiz for ugly people was a master of understatement. Or just blind.” — Reason‘s Nick Gillespie.

“VP Biden has a scratched cornea, reports NBC, which is why he is wearing glasses.” — The Hill‘s Emily Goodin.

Politico Playbook Publish Time: 7:43 a.m.

The Jokester Caucus

• “Press will now begin attacking Rubio for drinking problem.” — USA Today‘s Paul Singer.

• “I’m sure I’m going to dislike this but at least Beyonce is performing.” — Logan Dobson, before the SOTU address began.

• “When is halftime? Where is Beyonce?” — FNC’s Greg Gutfeld.

• “Who’s the fat lump of shit next to Mrs Obama? #SOTU.” — Anthony Cumia from the Opie and Anthony radio show.

• “Marco! Pollo! Marco! Pollo! Fish out of water!” [Insert Rubio Joke Here] #Rubioing.” — Syndicated columnist and Bullfight Strategies’ Karl Frisch.

• “What’s the opposite of 5-Hour Energy? Boehner’s had two of them, at least.” — Bloomberg Business Week‘s Joshua Green.

The Critics

“Really pathetic and sad reflection on media-culture that taking a drink of water can overwhelm everything else.” — Christian Heinze, founder of Prez16.com. Seconded by NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh, who said, “Exactly.”

Oh, but wait: “Jesus… the water sip blew the whole speech. Was on board until then but he blew it. Cue SNL.” — Jason Killian Meath, President, GOP Media Firm.

“The problem with this speech is a.) we already knew what was in it and b.) little of it is new.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“I like Rubio’s remarks thus far, dislike the dry mouth. Get the man a water. Let’s hear some solutions.” — Conservative radio host Dana Loesch.

“Was leaning off camera to get water really better than obviously needing one?” — WCP Editor Mike Madden during the GOP response of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

“Rubio keeps grabbing at his face. What’s with that?” — Baron‘s D.C. Editor James McTague.

“Huh, Chris Matthews voted for George W. Bush. You can admit that on MSNBC and still have a job? #MSNBCAfterDark” — U.S. News & World Report‘s Robert Schlesinger at 12:19 a.m.

Gratitude is…

“SOMEBODY PLEASE GIF THAT AWKWARD WATER BOTTLE GRAB, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! wowowoowowowowoowowow” — WaPo Express’ Clinton Yates.

“Water grab! Thank God.” — ABC News’ Nico Hines.

“Rubio has serious case of drymouth. Thank god he just took a sip of water.” — Roll Call Senate Editor Emily Pierce.

Jeff Zucker, give this man a raise! 

“CNN has every story covered tonight. On CNN-US: SOTU coverage. On HLN, continuing live coverage of Calif. Manhunt.” — CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist.

Wardrobe Change

“I just changed into flats because it is SRO in the House press gallery. #SOTU” — TWT‘s Emily Miller.

The sharp-tongued observers… Read more

Occasional blogger Meghan McCain sent out pleas yesterday to a couple of her critics, hoping to get some one-on-one time. Translation: Nobody’s thinking about Meghan McCain these days, so she’s willing revisit old feuds if it means she can get on TV for a few minutes and then have that segment subsequently posted on Mediaite.

“Glenn, you once fake vomited on your show in response to an PSA I did, I would like to talk to you about this. Call me,” McCain tweeted to conservative radio host Glenn Beck. She was referring to a radio segment Beck did where he made gagging noises while watching a skin cancer video PSA McCain participated in nearly two years ago.

“Laura, you once publicly said some things about me that really hurt me,” McCain then tweeted to Laura Ingraham, also a conservative radio host. “It’s taken me a long time to get here, but I would really like to talk to you in person. Call me.” Here, McCain is referring to the time Ingraham called McCain “plus-sized.” This happened in 2009.

Even the skin on Lil’ Kim’s nose isn’t this thin.

And as if there was any doubt McCain’s tweets have always been a freak show… Read more

Quotes of the Day

WISH YOU LIVED HERE? “My view while riding the Bay Trail today.” — Markos Moulitsas, editor of Daily Kos, who lives in Berkeley, Calif. and is a weekly columnist for The Hill.

“Because I was wrong at the top of the lungs,” — GOP Pollster and Pundit Dick Morris‘s explanation for why he was canned by Fox News, as told to CNN’s Piers Morgan last night.

Journo Love

“I am always in awe of the gorgeous & talented [PBS Political Director Christina Bellantoni] @cbellantoni, looking ravishing in blue tonight as a co-host of this Congressional dinner.” — Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner. The Washington Press Club Foundation Dinner was held last night. CBS Chief White House Correspondent Major Garrett was the emcee.

“Politico girls wear color.” — Politico‘s Ginger Gibson, who appeared in the above photograph with her coworkers Rachel Bade (center) and Juana Summers (right) at the Washington Press Club Foundation Dinner.

Ouch!

“Would have been far more fun to have actual polling experts make fun of Dick Morris instead of someone who clearly knows nothing. #thisisCNN” — Media Matters’ Justin Whitehouse, reacting to Morris’ appearance last night on CNN.

And now, a little praise for Piers

“Thanks to @piersmorgan for broadcasting my tweet: ‘If Dick Morris can be fired for being wrong and dumb, that means no pundit is safe.’” — Politico‘s Roger Simon.

The roller coaster continues…

“You’re all part of the problem, people tweeting about Dick Morris. Just know that.” — Logan Dobson, research analyst, The Tarrance Group, a GOP polling firm.

“Dick Morris is still an asshole who needs a good solid ass-kicking #CNN” — GOP Consultant and HuffPost and StoneZone blogger Roger Stone.

How often does Gavin Newsom Google himself?

“Never. For me, digging into all the negative stuff out there is just too distracting.” — California Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom in a Politico “Answer This” questionnaire by Patrick Gavin in which he also admits that he never skimps in cost on hair gel. Hey, at least he admits it. Read the full interview here.

Politico Playbook publish time: 9:13 a.m.

Wanted: Publisher

“WWR seeks publisher to turn history tweets into a book of colorful presidential stories/facts. Big marketing platform. westwingrpt@gmail.com” — Paul Brandus, author of WestWingReports, columnist, The Week.

Cat defiance

“Cat blatantly peed outside litterbox in front of me. Dislike of emergency litter (dirt) or anger over yesterday’s vet visit?” — Anneke Green, former TWTer who now works for the White House Writers Group.

Conservative Radio Host Laura Ingraham: “Dept. of Who cares? What’s on Michelle Obama’s playlist?” Ingraham was reacting to this feature in People mag.

Speaking of FLOTUS…

“Last week, we picked Napa cabbage in the garden. Now, we’re using it to make kimchi in the kitchen. Make it at home.” — First Lady Michelle Obama.

Last night the new home of Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) held its annual media Christmas party. That organization used to be known as The Heritage Foundation, but now you’d only know it as The DeMint Foundation since the Senator’s announcement.

The party is a must-attend for Washington media types and party crashers alike. Good food, top-shelf booze and big name revelers. The food disappointed this year but the attendees did not.

In addition to DeMint and outgoing foundation president Ed Feulner, other media types in attendance included… Read more

Quotes of the Day

“I tried to watch it. I obviously had to have a couple of glasses of champagne.” — E! late-night talk show host Chelsea Handler on Lifetime’s Liz and Dick starring Lindsay Lohan. Both Chelsea and Lindsay have graced the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

“Live from Capitol Hill, @AlexanderTrow prepares for #politicolive.” — Politico‘s Jake Sherman. It’s a miracle! Sherman finally has a decent photo that doesn’t involve a bland sign with an arrow from the Capitol. Rather, it’s of his colleague, Alexander Trowbridge and even includes morning sunlight.

Post election status

“Many of those with whom I promised to ‘check in after the election’ have now graduated to ‘check in after the holidays’ status.” — NYT magazine’s Chief National Correspondent Mark Leibovich.

Journo gets ripped for book

“I wouldn’t wipe my ass with your NY Times Bestseller. Nice cover though. #ObamaZombies” — Tracee Kapree to author and former Human Events Editor Jason Mattera, who wrote Obama Zombies.

Sarcasm is…

“Swedish Fish are relieved, I’m sure–esp. the red ones.” — Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham on a story in The Daily Caller regarding a Swedish Toys R Us franchise going gender neutral in its Christmas catalog.

Open letter to actor Angus Jones

“Dear Angus T Jones, If u are morally against appearing on Two & a Half Men, but contractually obligated, donate paychecks to a good cause.” — NBC News’ Shawna Thomas.

Howiella gives herself gift of Lifetime’s Liz and Dick

“My reward for churning out tomorrow’s ITK column: watching Liz and Dick on DVR. Be jealous.” — Howiella (a.k.a. The Hill‘s Judy Kurtz) on Monday night. The movie premiered on Sunday.

Can you imagine Mother Jones‘ David Corn driving a Maserati? Yeah, neither can we. And ABC’s Amy Walter has an important question…  Read more