Quotes of the Day — Home for the Holidays Edition

HOLIDAY JOKESTER: “My favorite 2012 picture of Steve Buttry.” — Mimi Buttry, wife of Steve Buttry. Buttry is the Digital Transformation Editor at Digital First Media. Nice, fancy title, Buttry!

Blogger goes nuts over bourbon balls

“Soaking nuts in Bourbon before I make Bourbon balls and I’m totally going to eat these nuts aren’t I?” — Laurie White, photographer, writer and blogger.

Roll Call researcher gets on wrong Metro car

“Of course I got on the Metro car with the puddle of barf in it.” — Katie Kovach, international affairs and defense researcher for Roll Call.

Important Question to Ponder: “I can’t believe people are tweeting about politics on Christmas Day. Why aren’t you people drunk struggling with electronics?” — InTheseTimes labor reporter Mike Elk.

“Fuckers”: The new way to say Happy Holidays!

“Happy Holidays to you too, fuckers.” — HuffPost‘s Sabrina Siddiqui to BuzzFeed‘s John Stanton, Politico‘s Kate Nocera and TPM‘s Igor Bobic.

Someone had to say it… “U.S. Senator in Deep ‘Crapo’ After DUI Arrest” — El Sharko blogger of Miami. (The Mormon senator from Idaho, Mike Crapo, got a DUI Sunday night. Nice timing!)

BuzzFeed editor gets weepy over gay weddings

“Watching a bunch of gay wedding videos and slowly getting emotional.” — BuzzFeed senior editor Stacy Lambe.

Uh oh. Scratch the drunken driving jokes

“Drunk driver jokes aren’t funny, folks. Especially if someone you love has been taken from you by one. Not a GOP or Dem. thing.” — Paul Brandus of  WestWingReport.

“People, there is nothing funny about drunk driving. Nothing.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“Good thing people sending gleeful tweets re Crapo DUI have never needed compassion after some stupid/hypocritical human failing.” — Harold Pollack, University of Chicago professor.

Not a happy ending for this journo

“Merry Christmas to the TSA agent who touched my junk.” — Free Beacon‘s  CJCiaramella.

Editor copes with new holiday traditions

“My Presbyterian brain can’t process my Catholic wife’s family’s tradition of unwrapping presents on Christmas Eve.” — National Journal “The Hotline’s” Editor-in-Chief Reid Wilson.

Peanut Gallery du Jour: “I bet Jesus gets super pissed that his birthday is so close to Christmas.” — FBDC and “Full Court Press” co-host Peter Ogburn.

Real HuffPost Headline: “Not having sex? 7 ways to start again”

Oops! Wrong address.

“Someone sent us five pounds of dry aged steak for Christmas. Sent it to the wrong house. Sat on a porch for a week. #tryingnottocry.” — CNN Contributor and RedState‘s Erick Erickson. As our own Rachel Ray (a.k.a. Ogburn) explained it, “aged meat = good, aged meat outside = not good.” Erickson also doubles as an imbibing Santa. He wrote, “The kids are sound asleep. Santa is about to put together the toys as soon as he finishes his bourbon.”

HELP!

“Just drove past a car completely engulfed in flames on the Ohio turnpike. Scary stuff.” — National Journal daily production employee Michelle Bloom.

Dicking Around With John Dickerson

“During Christmas service tonight, my 3rd grade daughter: ‘Mom what’s a virgin?’” — CBS Political Director and Slate‘s John Dickerson.

Um, constituents?

“Good morning Twitter constituents! Everyone have a Merry Christmas, a happy holiday and I hope u all experience the joy the season brings.” — Javonni Brustow, Washington editor of TheDCPundit.com, who transformed himself into a politician as millions of Christians celebrated the birth of Christ.

Holiday gun jokes: too soon?

“20-year-old twins Bob and Jim give Christmas gifts to 14-year-old Jefferson and 12-year-old Emerson: GUNS!” — Conservative blogger and ex-TWTer Robert Stacy McCain.

“I’m told a bearded guy may break into my house tonight. Should I greet him w/ AK-47 or Glock?” — Current’s David Shuster.

“Idea: arm every air traveler.” — Wired senior reporter and third tier Boybander Spencer Ackerman.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“Hostess told me I just booked the last available reservation tonight at our local Chinese restaurant. #christmasmiracle.” — Howeesha Kurtz (a.k.a The Hill‘s gossip columnist Judy Kurtz.)

Down and out journalists… Read more

Quotes of the Day

 A cautious journo packs her bags: “So tonight I’m packing for a wedding, two conventions and now a hurricane. That should be fun. See you in Tampa (maybe?)” – Rothenberg Political Report’s Jessica Taylor, who is ready to face the possible wrath of Hurricane Isaac.

Talk to your food: “Just bought a rabbit. For eating, not cuddling. I’m gonna talk like Elmer Fudd when I cook it.” – D.C. area photographer Melissa Golden.

The King of D.C. Potty Humor: ”It’s unrealistic to expect someone to read a review of “Dido & Aeneas” and not think “Dildo & Anuses.” No shame in it.”  - WaPo’s resident poop pundit, Gene Weingarten

Quotes of the Day

“Can’t believe this is all I’m packing for 30 days in Costa Rica. Life gets a lot lighter without cameras” — D.C. based Editorial Photographer Melissa Golden.

TMI?

“Making eye contact with your dog while she poops is such an awkward feeling.” — CNN Contributor and RedState.com Editor Erick Erickson this morning, presumably mid poop. (Relax, WaPo‘s Gene Weingarten. We’re not taking over your street corner.) Having excrement on his mind, Erickson later tweets, “Wetting the bed over Mitt Romney” and links to this story on RedState that posted at 4:47 a.m.

FNC’s Bret Baier is nothing if not severely dedicated to his Twitter fam. They praise him, insult him, assess his ties and tell him when he looks sick or tired. Baier vomit encompasses all kinds. Like this character, @TylahhhHoppahh (a.k.a. Tyler Hopper, who’s keeping it real): “YO I SAW YOU ON THE NEWS AND YOU SAID YOU MIGHT TWEET BACK SOOOO, hi.” Baier kept his word: “Hi.”

CNN’s Piers Morgan Wants You to Help Him Probe

“Heading to the Supreme Court today to interview Justice Antonin Scalia. What would YOU ask arguably America’s most influential lawyer?” — Piers Morgan.

From the Road

“What’s the deal with people gabbing on their phones in the airport at 5:30 am? Who wants to like, CHAT at that hour?” — Buzzfeed‘s Rosie Gray.

And something else that’s way too early…

“It’s too early for a Mika Brzezinski rant.” — The Daily Caller‘s TV reporter Jeff Poor.

Headline Head Scratcher

A Washington Examiner editorial Tuesday says it won’t tolerate campaigns rewriting and approving quotes post interviews with President Obama and Mitt Romney: “Examiner Editorial: All the news that’s fit to be censored.”  Headline translation: “Paper that doesn’t score big interviews revises its big interview policy … you know, just in case.” To quote Eminem, the Examiner “acts like a midget with a ladder in its back pocket.” The editorial came in response to a NYT report Tuesday revealing that the Obama and Romney camps hold conditions over reporters and, however begrudgingly, they agree to them. Interviews? No sweat. But quotes must be approved and can be edited after. WaPo‘s Erik Wemple analyzed the practice Tuesday. He quoted NYT‘s Mark Leibovich saying, “To introduce middle ground adds needless complication to the transaction.” Politico‘s Dylan Byers, who sometimes poses as someone who wants to purchase ads because his ethics are that good, weighed in on the Examiner’s reaction and NYT ethics this morning.

Pinch Us!

“Last minute, but if anyone wants to join me for Nats-Mets, I’ll be in the cheap seats.” — DCist‘s Ben Freed.

First World Problems

“That awkward moment when you take a pic of a crazy person in the metro and your flash goes off. #emilycahnproblems” — Roll Call‘s sneaky and mischievous Emily Cahn.

Peter Ogburn contributed to this report.