The big guy over at Fox News — that would be Roger Ailes, not Bill O’Reilly no matter what he thinks — has an unbelievable twin out there. It’s the late suspense filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock. Ailes is on the left, Hitchcock on the right.

So you’ve been given a major award and you plan to graciously accept it with a speech about how you got where you are in life, the people who helped you along the way, how humbled you are to even have been nominated, etc., etc., etc. Well, you’re a fool.

Take a lesson from Fox New Chairman Roger Ailes, who knows exactly what award acceptance speeches are really for: shrewd attacks on political enemies, deft displays of one’s lack of self-awareness and boldly told, yet mostly discredited conspiracy theories.

Ailes was at the Kennedy Center last night to receive the Bradley Prize from the Bradley Foundation, a conservative group that honors those it thinks have most advanced its mission of limited government and free markets. After Ailes said he was donating the $250,000 that comes with the award to a charity for senior citizens, he got right down to business. Here’s the Cliff Notes version: American exceptionalism, immigrants, Benghazi, President Obama, election fraud (with poor people), immigration again, the IRS, healthcare, and some more American exceptionalism. Read on for a few choice selections:

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We have a few lookalikes on the table today. They come from opposing networks. No matter. Even if Roger Ailes forbids it, they could still be sisters from the start. There’s CNN’s Deb Ferrick and FNC’s Dana Perino. Ferrick also looks like Betty Buckley, the actress who played “Abby Bradford” (the stepmother) on “Eight is Enough.”

Ferrick and Buckley

Here we have Ferrick with Perino with identical hairdos.

Dana Perino with actress Cameron Diaz

See more Perino lookalikes… Read more

It’s well known that the staff at Politico is between the sheets with MSNBC and on the outs with FNC. An excerpt from the to-be-released An Atheist in the FOXhole published by Salon confirms that fact and provides a little more detail:

Sometimes entire organizations were given lifetime bans [at Fox News]. The website Politico wrote something a few years back that rubbed Roger the wrong way (we were never told what exactly the transgression was) and word went out to all the shows: No more Politico reporters as guests. Also, any anchors who mentioned the site on air had to use the phrase “left-wing Politico” — an absurd designation for a publication that usually played it down the middle.

A web search shows Politico has, in the past, been referred to as “liberal” or “lefty” at FNC. Those references seemed to take place exclusively on FNC’s morning show “Fox & Friends” and with particular zeal from co-host Steve Doocy.

It’s common knowledge that many current and former reporters at Politico (and a lot of different publications on Planet Earth) are on the outs with FNC and FNC PR in particular, with editors and scribes dealing with intense squabbles. But is Ben Smith to blame for the deep rift? Read more

It’s a story that you almost have to read in a pitch-black room, huddled under a blanket with a flashlight.

On Sunday night Breitbart News published a massive hit piece on New York magazine’s Gabriel Sherman, who is presently working on a book about FNC and its CEO Roger Ailes. The story appears under the byline “Capitol Confidential” and is mostly a chronicle of the seemingly contentious relationship between Sherman and FNC. But sprinkled throughout are several unsubstantiated “holy shit!”-level digs at Sherman.

One assertion is that Sherman’s book, previously scheduled to publish this past May, has had its release date pushed to next January because the publishing house found the copy inadequate. “In the book world, that’s not a good sign,” the story says. “Typically, it means the publisher deems the manuscript to be unacceptable.” The story makes the additional leap that “desperation is taking its toll on young Sherman’s mind,” as he searches for “new and juicier material.”

Aside from a separate, anonymously-sourced piece in Breitbart that alleges Sherman’s publisher “must be freaking out,” the claim is baseless. One person who works at the top levels of a national book publisher in D.C. told FishbowlDC that any number of reasons can lead to delaying a book’s release. “Most likely, the author missed the deadline,” he said. “That could mean a number of things but a writer needing more time is not uncommon (happens all the time). It could also mean that retailers have asked the publisher for a different date because of potential promotions that can help move the book.”

Asked about the claim and to explain the “Capitol Confidential” byline, Breitbart News provided a statement to FishbowlDC… Read more

One man’s cut is another man’s dip is another man’s “Sorry, I’m not hearing anything.”

On Monday NYT‘s Brian Stelter reported on a bit from an upcoming book by Bloomberg View‘s Jonathan Alter. The part in question alleges that just days before the 2012 presidential election, nearly two months after terrorist attacks on a U.S. consulate in Libya, FNC CEO Roger Ailes personally called one of his channel’s producers and ordered that Geraldo Rivera‘s mic be cut.

In the segment in which Rivera appeared, he criticized his colleague Eric Bolling for what he said was politicizing the attack. As the segment droned on for seven minutes, Ailes ordered the muzzling of Rivera, according to Alter’s book.

Stelter wrote that he sought comment from FNC, which never returned his request (not unusual for the channel’s illustriously choosy PR department). Instead, a spokesperson for FNC went to Mediaite and gave them their side: It was that FNC Executive Vice President of Programming Bill Shine, who called up the producer and ordered not Rivera’s mic be cut, but that the show’s hosts move on to another, less emotionally-charged subject. (The next segment was on immigration, not at all an polarizing topic).

Rivera denied Alter’s account in a tweet. Alter replied, asking why Rivera’s “office” didn’t deny the claim when he called to ask about it. “Specifically to Jonathan Alter, I like you mate,” Rivera countered, “but you never spoke with me about Benghazi and you never asked if Roger Ailes cut my mic.”

Mediaite‘s Andrew Kirell posted the full video from the segment in question, noting that “At no point during the segment is Rivera inaudible.”

Oliver Willis over at the anti-FNC Media Matters disagreed. He also posted the full video, claiming to hear “a change in Rivera’s microphone volume.”

What you can take away from watching and listening to either clip… Read more

Here is this week’s installment of “Ask Piranhamous Anything.”  If you have a question you’d like “snarked to death,” send it to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com. This isn’t an advice column. Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple, funny and insightful.

Why should conservatives go to Erick Erickson’s Redstate event if he didn’t go to CPAC this year?

I notice Erick wasn’t at CPAC, but I have no idea why. What the two events offer are completely different. If both suit your needs, then yes. Attending a conference isn’t a favor, or at least shouldn’t be. If it is, no one should attend it.

Does Roger Ailes deserve to have two books written about him?

Yes. The guy started and runs the most successful news organization in the last half century – he deserves a mini-series. It’s funny to me to see leftists complain about him and pre-praise a book about him when his only “sin” is to swim upstream. There was a time when liberals were all in favor of “speaking truth to power” and being rebels (and not just in the Civil War), but now they hate, just absolutely HATE, anyone who dares to question their orthodoxy. So yes, Ailes deserves two books, three books or as many books as people can write. The more we learn about a man willing to give the institutional media power structure the finger the better.

Our last questions pertain to WaPo‘s pay wall and Jonathan Krohn getting “bullied” at CPAC… Read more

Quotes of the Day

Journo Love

“@NorahODonnell Norah! You are a rock star LOVED working with YOU! Killer blue eyes, nice & best of all SMART.. See you at the next thing.” — CBS’s Gayle King to Chief White House Correspondent Norah O’Donnell.

Cabbie wants to take journo to whore house

“Man, that cabbie was really making the hard sell on taking me to a brothel. Just trying to get a G-rated dinner, my man.” — Reuters‘ Sam Youngman in Reno.

Convo Between Two Journos

“Finding Holmes’s Joker-colored hair really disconcerting.” — WaPo‘s Aaron Blake. Slate‘s Dave Weigel corrects him, saying, “Not Joker-colored! Joker’s hair is green.” Thanks Weigel!

Actor Adrian Grenier: “You want my vote @BarackObama? Start talking about climate change. Want to heal the economy? Talk jobs of the future.”

Important Question to Ponder: “Do the waitresses in Boston’s North End call everybody ‘hon’ or am I special?” — NYT‘s Mark Leibovich.

Dear Paterno Family…

“Dear Paterno family, please stop issuing panicky, nutty statements.” — HuffPost‘s Jason Cherkis.

Chris Hayes has an inflated sense of self-worth?

“A little perspective would inform Hayes’ inflated sense of self-worth, particularly when he attempts to demean the notable careers of others.” — Mediaite‘s Noah Rothman emoting about a TPM story on MSNBC’s Chris Hayes in which Hayes praised MSNBC (of course) and slammed FNC Prez Roger Ailes as unseasoned. As we remarked on Twitter Monday, watch out Noah. Your colleague Tommy Christopher (chairman of The I Love Chris Hayes Foundation) may have your head for this.

Be glad you’re not this man’s ex-boss

“Police: Man Stopped For Speeding Was Going To Kill Former Employer.” — WUSA9. See here.

Used to?

“I used to get squeamish at the sight of blood.” — Sam Husseini of the Institute for Public Accuracy and writer for dcstakeout.com.

Journo hate mail

“Mr. W. Blitzer is the most annoying of all T.V. presenters. He mostly likes to talk about himself. reminding us at nauseum how many presidents and other important persons he has interviewed. It is getting so boring that my husband and I are watching the BBC. — FBDC commenter Ursula Huggins-Whitney. Ouch, Urusula.

FNC recently celebrated the publication of conservative commentator Monica Crowley‘s new book What the (Bleep) Just Happened?: The Happy Warrior’s Guide to the Great American Comeback at a party in New York City last week.

CEO Roger Ailes introduced Crowley at an event, calling her “brilliant” and “a star.” He said “she is Fox News.” Crowley joked that the original title of her book was “Fifty Shades of Obama,” saying “Given the massive sales of [50 Shades of Grey] maybe I should’ve stuck with that title.”

We checked in with Crowley about her book and her relationship with FNC liberal sparring partner (and brother-in-law) Alan Colmes.

1. You and Alan Colmes face off on FNC’s The O’Reilly Factor on a regular basis. Is your rapport the same off camera? Alan and I are polar opposites politically, but we’re great friends. He’s sweet and kind, funny and thoughtful. His only downside is his leftist ideology, but I’m working on him. He’s a real challenge to my powers of persuasion, but I won’t rest until he’s Tea Party.

2. Aside from Colmes, who’s your favorite liberal to have a friendly (or not) debate with? I respect and am friendly with every person with whom I debate. That makes flattening their arguments so much more fun and gratifying.

3. What’s the opposite of a “happy warrior”? Can you name someone’s who’s a happy warrior and someone who’s the opposite? In the book, I list the 10 keys to the Happy Warrior. The first is that we recognize that we are, in fact, in a war: we’re in an ideological war against leftism and an economic war against the forces of redistributionism. But the Happy Warrior recognizes that America can be saved, and that she is worth saving. Above all, the Happy Warrior is, in fact, happy, and takes on the mission to restore the nation with joy and optimism. The opposite of the Happy Warrior is what President Nixon‘s team once called the “nattering nabobs of negativity.” These are the folks who are either actively advancing American decline or resigned to it. President Obama channeled a lot of American optimism with his ambiguous but upbeat message of “hope and change” in 2008, but because his record is so horrendous, he is now almost totally negative and can only run a scorched earth campaign. He is the opposite of the Happy Warrior. President Reagan and Margaret Thatcher were consummate Happy Warriors. Today, I’d put Gov. Scott Walker (R-Wisc.), Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.), and former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) in that category, among others. Gov. Mitt Romney has a bit of the Happy Warrior in him; he’s getting better at embodying that positive embrace of conservatism. If he were to totally embody the Happy Warrior spirit while continuing to advocate pro-growth economic policies, he’d have this race sown up.

4. How’d you come up with the title What the (bleep) just happened? What’s the word you’d most often associate with the “(bleep)” part? One day last summer, I was having dinner with a good friend. I told her that I wanted to write a new book but was unsure as to what its focus should be. We then started talking about how epically weird the last few years under Obama have been. Every day, we were getting hit with a new piece of insane leftist social engineering or some new policy to take down American power or prestige abroad—a rapid-fire assault I call “Barack-a-mole.” Our enemies were getting olive branches, our allies were getting dissed, and millions of Americans were being moved into government dependency at home. “What the (bleep) just happened?” I sighed. She looked at me and said, “That’s your title.” And so it came to be. Of course, I used a more colorful word, but I thought I’d let each reader supply his or her own favorite profanity.

5. Free for all: What’s something you’d like to say?
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On Friday we asked readers what CNN’s John King should do since execs dumped his show last week. Considering that King’s personal life has been fodder for internal gossip for months now (let’s just say the network doesn’t look kindly on personal blunders) miraculously readers were kind.

More than 34 percent of you chose this response: “Considered to be among the brightest political journalistic minds in D.C., King will have many options to weigh; go slow, consider them all.” And second to that, at 22.7 percent was this advice: “Screw CNN; he should dump them and flee to Fox News if they’ll have him.”

King’s contract is expected to be up later this year. Time will tell. But Roger Ailes, looks like the king may be up for grabs.