ABC7 reporter Stephen Tschida likely woke up with a pounding hangover today — not one from drinking, mind you, more the emotional kind when you write a bunch of crazy sh-t on Twitter and wake up to realize, wow, I really did write that.

The short of it: Tschida boarded a train for Philly and life will never be the same. The long of it, well, we’re giving you the long of it because it’s just that good.

We randomly start on Dec. 14th with this note about his dog because it all feels like a premonition for what unfolds next and how he deals with things in everyday life like putting, er, oil, in his dog’s food. “Vet made me put oil in puppy’s food. In bed watching TV. He smells like DEAD FISH! Really. I can’t do this.”

Stephen (yes we’re on a goddamn first name basis with this guy at this point and you will be too by the end of this) boards the train approximately 14 hours ago: “Train broke down. Terrrible, cold, no info. Better get what can from cafe. Looks like long night ahead.”

And we’re off…

Slight annoyance

#2: “Really someone here should tell us something. Train gettting colder and colder. Hearing now about a possible rescue train. OMH?”

Extreme annoyance

#3: “Another train will try run threw trouble spot ( god knows when ). If makes it we will attempt. Just want OFF this train. I am freezing.”

Doubt

#4: “OK, getting wierd [sic] on here. People starting to talk loud. Demanding another train. But don’t think another train will help.”

#5: “If it gets much colder I am going to have to cuddle with the senior citizen next to me. Hey it’s called SURVIVAL!”

Empathizing with movie characters

#6: “Rejoice train moving. Senior citizen off hook. Tells me heat should return. At least now I know how Dr. Zhivago felt.”

Fear sets in

#7: “Train just slammed on brakes. Afraid were not moving again 4 a long time.”

Mild panic arises

#8: “Help is on the way. Whatever that means. And they have “emergency food”. Whatever that is. How long r we going 2 b on here?”

Getting angry

#9: “This really is the trip from HELL!”

#10: “Conductor says they will do something with us when we get 2 Baltimore. But he doesn’t know what.”

Meditation begins

#11: “Train stopped again. So cold can’t stop trembling. Going 2 try meditation. Think good thoughts. It will be over soon. Right?”

Losing hope

#12: “Train stalled again. Pitch black all around, cold air blowing on me. It’s like twilight zone. Or I’ve died and gone 2 hell.”

#13: Just sitting here. If somebody doesn’t tell us something, I am afraid it’s going 2 get ugly. Frustration is building.”

Near tears

#14: “OMG backing up all the way 2 baltimore. Asked what then, conuctor said “don’t know” Asked about heat, he shrugged. Kinda close 2 crying.”

Shivering

#15: “Oh god, lights went out. Train totally dead. No one is telling us anything! Sitting in dark shivering. ‘Sartre’”

#16: “Very wierd, everyone wispering [sic]. This is so bizarre. Because it’s dark they talk in hushed tones.”

Paranoia sets in

#17: “Afraid they’re going to back us off a bridge into cold black water. Maybe I’m paranoid, but afraid this isn’t going to end well.”

#18: “People are storming the conductor. He is letting them off in Perryville. He says u get off at your own risk.”

The drama continues to unfold. Read as Stephen grows more and more confused, starts praying, is on the brink of tears and more…

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