Quotes of the Day

“Any jackass can talk about bombing Iran.” — MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, post debate late night.

“I think we all love teachers.” — CBS “Face the Nation” host and presidential debate moderator Bob Schieffer. This is how he firmly ended one of the segments as Mitt Romney gushed about teachers.

Important Question to Ponder: “What do I get @twitter for our 4th anniversary together?” — WaPo‘s Ed O’Keefe. Answer: A divorce. (Just kiddng with you, Ed.)

Journo’s heart warmed by Fresh Prince

“Will Smith was a groomsman in Alfonso Ribiero (aka Carlton Banks) wedding. That warms my heart #freshprince.” — ABC News’s Karen Travers.

The Relationship Expert

“Romney and Obama really don’t like each other. Reminds me of the very worse episode of Love Connection.” — “Love Connection” game show host Chuck Woolery.

Blogger declares journos’ “shallow”

“Is it too much for reporters who don’t cover and don’t have any knowledge of for policy to refrain from grading a for pol debate? #shallow” — WaPo‘s “Right Turn” blogger Jennifer Rubin.

Mom to the rescue

“My mom fact-checks that Air Force Academy basic cadets trained with bayonets this summer. Source: My sister goes there.” — Politico defense reporter Leigh Munsil.

“1st debate my mother texted she was upset Obama lost. 2nd debate texted she was happy. Now, no text. My focus group says, Viewership down?” — WaPo‘s Tim Craig.

Huh?!

“Last Nicki Minaj quote tweet was meant as a text to a friend. Sorry, at least I didn’t pull a chick from the newsroom and tweet racy pic.” — MSNBC Contributor and Daily Beast Columnist Megan McCain.

Righty writer makes fun of Specter (too soon?)

Q: “Why is the weather so wonderful today?” A: “Oh, that’s right. Arlen Specter is still dead.” — the always classy conservative writer and former TWTer Robert Stacy McCain. Former Sen. Arlen Specter died last week after a lengthy bout of cancer.

See the best in Debate Observations…and find out which D.C. insider is hanging out with Cinderella.

Read more

It’s gotten to the point where you have to wonder if Mediaite‘s White House Correspondent Tommy Christopher watches MSNBC’s Chris Hayes with a box of wet naps on standby.

This is moving beyond bromance and we don’t think it’s a stretch to think a marriage proposal may be in order. Or, if the network is looking for a devoted publicist for the show, they should look no further than Christopher, who posted a sticky sweet writeup last night on an Entertainment Weekly profile of MSNBC’s Up with Hayes. Christopher mistakenly refers to the show as “MSNBS‘s Up with Chris Hayes” — was he calling the network bulls–t? Was he all blinded with love that he forgot the name of the network? In the post, Christopher pretends to bemoan the “cool” factor Up has lost with its increase in popularity.

Christopher writes, “The magazine has a weekly circulation of around 1.8 million, [most] of which are being read by people who probably don’t watch Up, but might just give it a try now. The horror. Next thing you know, we’ll be watching a Very Special Up Wedding episode.”

Oh, Tommy!

Does Mediaite have an editor these days? More absurd gushing from Christopher’s post… Read more

George Washington University will honor MSNBC’s Alex Wagner with its “Jackie and Rachel Robinson Society Community Recognition Award” next week.

Quick! Somebody make sure Mediaite‘s Tommy Christopher — who’s always ready to mention that he knows Wagner — is still breathing!

The award comes as part of GWU’s Jackie Robinson Night. The annual event commemorates the late baseball legend’s breakthrough into major league baseball and his impact on American history. Wagner is receiving the award for her past work as executive director of Not on Our Watch, an advocacy group for human rights around the world.

Professor Michael Long, associate professor of religion and peace and conflict studies, will deliver a lecture Robinson’s political and social activism.

The event is free and open to the public in Funger Hall, room 103. It runs from 7-9 p.m.

Quotes of the Day

GETTING CHUMMY: “Scandal” star Kerry Washington and HBO Host Bill Maher. Washington appeared on the”Real Time With Bill Maher” panel this weekend.

Riehl-y Disgusting

“So, I’m thinking Code Pink x Taliban = a Clitorrorist” — Breitbart.com‘s office misogynist Dan Riehl.

Honey Boo Boo to WHCD?

“Hey @Politico @pwgavin @CaitlinMcDevitt - You guys should invite Honey Boo Boo as your guest for the White House Correspondents Dinner 2013.” — DC Celebrity Celeb Photog Marky Mark.

Self-appointed Media Critic

“Stephanopoulos refused to control roundtable so cons message couldn’t get out. Krugman lies. Melee begins. George allows. A tactic.” — Breitbart.com editor John Nolte regarding Sunday’s “This Week” with George Stephanopoulos. Among the guests was NYT columnist Paul Krugman.

Dicking Around With John Dickerson

“M.C. Socket Wrench never really had the rap career his parents expected.” — CBS Political Director John Dickerson.

Legal shit is going down.

“The other Jen Rubin account makes me look like a pitiful shill who has completely lost all contact with reality. I am taking legal action.” — Not WaPo‘s “Right Turn” blogger Fake Jennifer Rubin. CORRECTION: This could help the real Rubin’s case. We were fooled by the fake Rubin. This tweet is actually by parody Rubin, not the real WaPo writer. We’ve corrected the above to reflect reality.

Pimples, wrinkles and a receding hairline. Oh my!

“30s… That awkward age when you start noticing more wrinkles and a receding hairline, but still manage to produce pimples.” — ABC7′s Mike Conneen.

Irony is…

“Enjoying a weekend without our kids. Up randomly throughout the night as the kid in the room next door screams her head off.” — CNN and RedState.com Editor-in-Chief Erick Erickson.

Overheard…

“Woman ahead of me at Hair Cuttery says she’s 102. Tells stylist she wants a ‘new look.’ (Talk about pressure!)” — WaPo Book World Editor Ron Charles.

A WH Correspondent can dream, can’t he?

“1. Peace on Earth 2. Goodwill toward men 3. Stronger urine flow #uppers” — Mediaite White House Correspondent Tommy Christopher, apparently thinking about urinating while watching MSNBC’s “Up With Chris Hayes.” Funny, we always think about urinating when watching that show.

Free Advertising for Chef Geoff

“Hey @chefgeoffs, the Chesapeake Stew at Rockville site made birthday boy (my dad) very very happy! Cc:@NorahODonnell” — Yahoo! News’ Olivier Knox, who has previously and profusely praised Cheff Geoff’s restaurant. Come on, Geoff, free meal for Olivier or what?

Stupid stuff we couldn’t care less about

• “On flight from Philly to laguardia, flight attendant notes that ‘this is a short 19-minute flight’” — Politico‘s Shermanator Jake Sherman, who was apparently affected by the altitude before writing this tweet. That, or else, he came straight from a Phish concert.

• “Just heard Carol Burnett tell my friend Guy Raz ‘Thanks for inviting me.’ The true greats have class like that.” — NPR’s Scott Simon. Saying “thanks” isn’t beyond the pale, for stars or trained monkeys.

Peter Ogburn and Eddie Scarry contributed to this report.

On Thursday, we began rolling out the results of our Summer Superlatives and today, you get to meet the rest of the winners. Thanks for voting.

Today’s results kicks off with the Best Dressed category. This cage match was between Politico’s Ken Vogel and Kate Nocerra, WaPo’s Jonathan Capehart, RCP’s Erin McPike, and CNN’s Kate Balduan. This contest wasn’t even close. While we had a feeling Capehart would be the clear winner, he was a very distant second to Kate Balduan! Congrats, Kate. Your prize is a $1 gift card to Fashion Bug!

Moving right along, we asked you to name Washington’s Best Writer. Your choices were The Weekly Standard’s Matt Labash, The New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza, NJ’s Major Garrett, NYT’s Mark Leibovich, Ashley Parker and Maureen Dowd, WaPo‘s Karen Tumulty, HuffPost’s Eliot Nelson, and Washingtonian’s Luke Mullins. This one was a close one to call. It was a two-man race between Garrett and Labash, but in the end, Major Garrett came through and was voted the winner. It should be noted that today is Garrett’s birthday.

Which Washington journo is Most In Need of a Salad? We asked you to choose between Politico’s Jonathan Allen and Jonathan Martin, Slate‘s Dave Weigel, HuffPost’s Peter Cherukuri and Jason Linkins, FNC’s Bob Beckel and Bret Baier, and author and former TWTer Rich Miniter. This was another category where it wasn’t even close. The FNC team of Bob Beckel and Bret Baier were the heavy favorites and waddled walked their way to an easy victory.

Next up, we had the category that saw more votes than any other, Sexiest. Your sultry selections were AP‘s Steve Peoples, Atlantic Publisher Justin Smith, Washingtonian‘s Kate Bennett, Real Housewives of D.C.’s sassy stylist Paul Wharton, CNN’s Brianna Keilar, NBC4′s Doug Kammerer and Maynard Institute’s Richard Prince. The winner by a slim, sexy (and consenting) majority was Brianna Keilar.

On the other side of the coin, we have Who is Most In Need of a Makeover? Your choices were CQ Roll Call (the entire publication), The Daily Caller’s Matthew Boyle, TWT’s Stephen Dinan, Publicist Wendy Gordon, DCRTV’s Dave Hughes and Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher. Once again, this was a two-man race between Christopher and Boyle. While Christopher just looks generally disheveled, the overall train wreck that is Matthew Boyle was voted the winner. Congrats, Matt. We hear that Paul Wharton may be available to help turn you into a beautiful swan.

Last, but certainly not least, is the Best On-Air Personality. The heavy-hitters on this list were ABC’s Jake Tapper, The Daily Caller’s Tucker Carlson, MSNBC’s Chuck Todd, CBS’s Bob Schieffer and Nancy Cordes, HuffPost‘s Sam Stein, and WaPo’s Nia-Malika Henderson. At the end of the day, the experience of Schieffer couldn’t keep up with your winner, Jake Tapper!

Congratulations to all of our winners.

Now that everyone has had a chance to vote, the results are in for the FishbowlDC Superlatives. We’ll be rolling out the results today and tomorrow, so be on the lookout to see how your nominees did.

Biggest Self Promoter– This was the closest vote that we had in the whole competition. It was between Former Daily Caller reporter Michelle Fields, ABC News White House Correspondent Jake Tapper, The Daily Beast and CNN’s Howard Kurtz, WaPo’s Chris Cillizza and Publicist Tammy Haddad. The photo finish saw Tammy Haddad beat out Fields by only five votes! Congratulations Tammy!

Worst Temper– The candidates were Mother Jones’s David Corn, Politico’s Jim VandeHei, Politico’s Tim Grieve, Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher, and Slate’s Matt Yglesias. The people have spoken and they say Tim Grieve has the worst temper in Washington! We’d congratulate him, but we’re afraid it might set him off.

Favorite Flack– We asked you to choose between POTUS campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki, Mitt Romney spokesman Brendan Buck, House Maj. Leader Eric Cantor’s Deputy Chief of Staff Doug Heye and NRCC’s Brian Walsh (pitched as Drama and Turtle), C-SPAN’s Howard Mortman, and House Maj. Whip Kevin McCarthy spokeswoman Erica Elliott. Despite a last minute push by Mortman, the winners were Doug Heye and Brian Walsh!

Most Likely to Wind Up in Jail– The suspects choices were Politico’s Joe Williams, PR Exec. David Bass, BuzzFeed’s John Stanton, The Daily Caller’s David Martosko, The Daily Caller’s Neil Munro, Reason‘s Mike Riggs and freelancer Moe Tkacik. The overwhelming winner was Joe Williams.

Class Clown: This category was a joke. The results were the most lopsided in all of the superlatives. The contenders were Sirius XM’s Julie Mason, Roll Call HOH’s Neda Semnani, Yahoo! News’ Olivier Knox, Reuter‘s Sam Youngman, The Atlantic‘s Scott Stossel, Wonkette and The Guardian‘s Jim Newell and The Drudge Report’s Charlie Hurt. Julie Mason walked away with this category with a crushing 46 percent of the vote.

Most likely to end up with a reality show– In D.C., there are PLENTY of options, but we narrowed them down to Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher, ABC7’s Stephen Tschida, TWT‘s Emily Miller, Susanna Quinn, Publicist Wendy Gordon, Publicist and blogger Janet Donovan, NBC’s Luke Russert, Current TV’s David Shuster,and CNN’s Roland Martin. The winner of this category was…  Emily Miller! (Our advice would be to make sure you get the lighting right on her reality show or she might shoot the bulbs out.)

Thanks to everyone who voted, but we aren’t done yet with the big reveal. Check back tomorrow to find out the winners of all of our other categories, which include Best Writer, Sexiest, and Best On-Air Personality!

The Daily Caller’s Matt Lewis was on vacation last week, so he was running “best of” columns to fill the void. The one he chose to run on Thursday gives Mediaite’s Tommy Christopher a run for his money in the “most pathetic and desperate ‘please book me on your show’ ass-kissing award.” Whereas Christopher kisses the asses of Chris Hayes and Cenk Uygur, Lewis at least spends his time kissing an ass that has some viewers – MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough.

Of the “Morning Joe” host, Lewis writes, “…Scarborough, host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” arguably does more to advance conservative ideas than many of the more-celebrated conservative voices in America today. Primarily this is because — unlike those others — Scarborough isn’t just preaching to the choir.”

Before he left, the noted Twitter-butt-kisser told his followers that his column would be running “evergreen ‘greatest hits’ all week.” How a column he wrote back in his Politics Daily days and not one of the many DC pieces he’s authored in his time there qualifies as a “greatest hit” speaks volumes of what Lewis must think of his work at his current employer. Then again, he did say “evergreen” and Washington, ass-kissing never goes out of style.

While on vacation, Lewis found time to retweet his betrothed’s “Thank!” Will this lead to more bookings? Probably. But I mostly kid Matt because he’s notorious for retweeting praise from anyone on Twitter. I hope his vacation was enjoyable and his lips are rested, as I’m certain they’ll be put back to use in no time.

Where to begin in Chris Moody‘s story about how he celebrated his birthday over a hot dog with Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan? There’s so much.

Thursday marked Moody’s 27th birthday (we told him he doesn’t look a day older than 32). The Yahoo! News reporter, along with other journos, spent the day following Ryan as he campaigned through Ohio. For lunch, Ryan and his team stopped at a hot dog shop where campaign aides tipped Ryan off that it was Moody’s birthday.

What follows is an excerpt from Moody’s account of what went down. (Heads up: the story has more “I”s than a spider wearing glasses. In other words, it reads like a typical post by Mediaite‘s Tommy Christopher.)

I walked into the restaurant seconds later, and was startled to see Ryan directly in front of me. Several cameras surrounded him and were trained directly on us.

My initial reaction in situations like this is to get the hell out of my colleagues’ camera shot, but Ryan pointed at me and said to step up to the counter with him.

“Moody!” he said. “Hey, what do you want?”

“Oh, that’s OK,” I said, headlines like REPORTER SWOONS FOR $3 HOT DOG flashing through my mind.

“You need a hot dog,” he said. …

“I’m a little embarrassed,” I said, feeling my pockets. “I left my wallet in the bus.”

Ryan paid for Moody’s hot dog and the two sat at a booth. Despite the nice gesture, Moody was on his A-game. He took the opportunity to ask Ryan about the difference between President Obama’s proposed cuts to medicare versus his own.

A true professional.

Moody concludes with possibly the best line ever written: “We bumped dogs and chowed down.”

Earlier, out of the goodness of his stinging heart, Piranhamous offered six tips that The Daily Caller‘s Matthew Boyle might consider using to polish up his TV hits.

We now shift our focus to Mediaite‘s White House Correspondent “Tommy Christopher.” In an interview with Current TV’s Cenk Uygur Tuesday to discuss an anti-Romney ad put out by the Obama campaign, Christopher showed up in his smoky blue best (circa 1974). Whatever you think of Christopher’s standard liberal opinions, there’s nothing wrong with his content. And air quotes are always amusing. But just like at a fancy restaurant, it’s all in the presentation. Watch here.

Here are a few comments left by Mediaite readers on Christopher’s appearance (out of respect, we selected some of the more milder ones):

• “Tommy, you don’t look well. Are you eating your greens?”
• “Wow! I guess I had never seen a photo of Mr. Christopher before, or if I did, I didn’t pay that much attention. First glance, I said Rosie O’Donnell. No, then I thought Christopher Hitchens, No. Then I thought Michael Moore!”

Some tips to get that shine Christopher undoubtedly wants for his next TV hit:

1. The shirt collar. Collars that big are almost exclusively reserved for dogs who can’t stop biting themselves or Saturday Night Fever Halloween costumes. Go with a more modern, slimmer look next time.

2. Those buttons. At the top of the shirt. Those should be fastened. Partially because it looks more professional, mostly because unless you’re a DD-cupped woman appearing on Fox News, no one needs to see more of your flesh than necessary.

3. The hair. A little trim around the ears goes a long way. We can see Christopher and his hair have precious little time left together, but that’s no reason to abandon maintenance. Also, maple syrup should never, ever be used as hair product.

4. That smile. Don’t do it. We know it’s probably innocent but we couldn’t help but feel molested by it.

5. The spectacles. Well, if you’re going for the Harry Potter Dumbledore look, those will do.

6. The voice. Liven it up a little. By no means should you go Luke-Russert loud, but a  low, just-got-up-from-my-hammock-nap grumble also doesn’t translate well on TV.

Noticeably absent from today’s Washington Examiner is Paul Bedard‘s Washington Secret’s column. Where could he have gone? We checked his Twitter profile for a clue–nothing. Bedard hasn’t tweeted since Friday.

We started to worry that Bedard, lover of doughnuts, may have had a bad experience with Krispy Kreme. For all we know he could have passed out on a public toilet in Chinatown and needs our help. So we emailed him. Still nothing. Fortunately, the Examiner‘s Executive Editor Stephen Smith got back to us and told us Bedard is on vacation.

Bedard’s specific whereabouts are still unknown, however. So we started to wonder: Where would a man who writes on secrets head for a vacation? Our best guesses:

1. To sift through Mitt Romney‘s tax returns
2. To search President Obama‘s college transcripts.
3. On a mission to discover conservative columnist George Will‘s real hair color.
4. Fox News HQ in New York just to hang out.

Next mystery: Where is Joe Scarborough‘s Politico blog?

Using a high-res magnifying glass, we were able to locate it on Politico‘s homepage. When the blog was launched at the start of the year it was prominently placed with its own caricature of Scarborough and link under the rest of the Politico blogs. It has since been reduced to a small link underneath the “Opinion” header, simply marked “blog.” And it hasn’t been updated in more than a month.

FBDC reported in early June that Scarborough’s blog was losing steam. An NBC publicist assured us he was posting “frequently” though never intended on posting daily. How about monthly?

We reached out again to MSNBC and Politico on the matter.