WaPo is more often used to catch fecal matter in bird cages than it is to dispense advice about it, but their website is a different matter altogether.
The Post’s humor writer (no, not Ezra Klein) Gene Weingarten seized upon an opportunity to make a bunch of poop jokes (OK, not so much jokes as to just write the word “poop” a lot) when a woman he affectionately calls “Poopfinger” writes in during a weekly web chat to ask about her, um, digestive issues.
Turns out this woman can’t do her “business” without some help from one of her digits. She thinks her plumbing is defective. Her pipes aren’t rusty, but her brain clearly is. Why she, or anyone, would write to Weingarten, or any other person outside of a doctor, clearly demonstrates she needs a CAT scan more than anything else.
Weingarten, not willing to miss an opportunity to sully the Post with the word “poop,” sought the advice of a “poop” expert (again, no, not Ezra).
Someone named Dr. Satish Rao, a “fecal motility expert,” diagnosed “Poopfinger” with Dyssynergic Defecation. I could paste Dr. Rao’s diagnosis here, as Weingarten did, but I’ll pass, so to speak.
Needless to say, he thinks the afflicted simply never learned to poop properly. There’s more to it than that, but I’ll spare you the details and just link to the column so you can decide for yourself whether or not to read it.
But Weingarten wasn’t done there. Seems once you go into the toilet, your whole world becomes shit. So to speak. It’s a lovely read, if you’re looking to lose weight the “model way,” but for real people it’s something you’d expect to see editors of college newspapers giggling about thinking they’re “sticking it to the establishment” by publishing.
Weingarten’s rampage of shit won’t be stopped up anytime soon. And don’t be fooled by him luring you to the chat under false pretenses — for this one he wrote, “If anyone is ever arrested for having too large a penis, it won’t be me. Meanwhile: Chat update!”