Archives: October 2005

Remember blog synchronicity? The phenomenon that occurs when the same thing comes up on your blog independently, like references to dwarves or The Grateful Dead or twinkies? Today we had MoDo synchronicity, because she was everywhere, dismissing men as unnecessary and Scooter Libby as really unnecessary, but even better, today we have a special treat: MB synchronicity.

MB synchronicty is defined as when the same thing pops up all across our beloved mediabistro, from blog to shining blog to homepage and back. Today, that has happened with John Hodgman, author of “The Areas of My Expertise” and subject of today’s MB feature which explores his famous “Little Gray Books” lectures, his infamous preoccupation with hoboes, and previous career as a literary agent (we’ve never heard of “Hook Man Speaks” but we’re sure he had a whole lot to say. Arrrr, matey!).

Any of this sound familiar? It should, otherwise you’re not reading enough Fishbowl, and that’s very sad. Hodgman and his Little Gray Books were recently the subject of a glowing Fishbowl post, as well as the source of our obsession with the acoustic version of “Baby Got Back” by his sidekick/player of mood music Jonathan Coulton. Aha!

But wait, there’s more! Hodgman was also the subject of a recent GalleyCat post when our bookish brethren in blogging discovered that Hodgman’s hobo obsession had taken on a life of its own on the internet, inspiring a full-on Flickrpage of illustrations matching his 700-plus painstakingly-rendered hobo names (oh – we should remind the gentle reader that Hodgman likes hoboes. Not quite a fetish, but if the bindlestick fits…). Hodgman was amazed and flattered, telling our GalleyCat cousins: “Here is the internet the way it should be: un-schemed, honestly undertaken, and fueled by pure enthusiasm by strangers.”

But wait, there’s more! For what is MB synchronicity if not the unschemed, honestly undertaken pure enthusiasm of strangers? And rarely does it get much stranger than Claire Zulkey, Lady and Mistress of mbToolbox, who interviewed Hodgman back in August about, well, all sorts of things including but not limited to remote-controlled zeppelins.

But wait, there’s… actually, that’s it, though we do have four wonderful other blogs: Fishbowls DC, LA and TV (aka TVNewser) and the stylicious Unbeige, all of whom are feeling a little left out. Don’t worry kids, you can link to this post. Fun!

There’s one last element of synchronicity here: not only are three of MB’s bloggers Canadian — Unbeige’s Eva Hagberg, GalleyCat’s Sarah Weinman, and me, FishbowlNY’s Rachel Sklar — but back in the 70′s, Canada was also home to an inspiring, family-friendly TV show called — ready for it? — “The Littlest Hobo,” about a wandering German shepherd who was forever on the road (I used to get so upset. Why didn’t he want to stay with the nice family?). Here’s the theme song, in Spanish, because that’s how we roll in Canada. Coincidence? I think not. Tal vez ma&#241ana, ya llegue a ese lugar; hasta ma&#241ana, seguir&#233 mi caminar.

The point is, MB synchronicity is COOL. No, Hook Man, I don’t want to shake your hand.

Pitching a Former Literary Agent: John Hodgman [MB]
Hodgman’s Hoboes Come Alive On Flickr [GalleyCat]
Baby Got Little Gray Book [FishbowlNY]
Pop Quiz: John Hodgman [mbToolbox]

Related:
Littlest Hobo in Spanish (complete with adorable video of Hobo trotting down the road with his tongue flopping. AW.)

Create a social media strategy, launch your campaign, and track the results in our Social Media Marketing Boot Camp starting February 16. The online event and workshop will feature speakers including The Onion‘s Baratunde Thurston (left), Facebook’s Morin Oluwole, and bitly’s Tim Devane. Register now.

Happy Hallowe’en, everyone! Hope you all eat lots of candy and wear lots of fun costumes and dance around like the wild pagan spirits you are. If anyone needs to borrow a wig, I’ve got plenty. Enjoy!!

That’s just one of the lines we learned from the movie “Grease” watching it slavishly for years and years and years growing up. Another line, delivered by Danny Zuko to Rizzo: “Sloppy seconds ain’t my style.” We repeated that without understanding what it meant for many years, until someone quietly pulled us aside and explained it to us. Oops.

We think that CBS White House Correspondent John Roberts probably knew what it meant when he said it in the White House Press Briefing today. Maybe he meant to say “second best” or “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” or even “not the President’s number-one choice,” but what he actually said was:

So, Scott, you said that — or the President said, repeatedly, that Harriet Miers was the best person for the job. So does that mean that Alito is sloppy seconds, or what?

On behalf of all Canadians, I would like to apologize for John Roberts’ unfortunate phraseology, unwitting or not.

There is, however, nothing unwitting about the inclusion of an explicit definition on Drudge. Come on Drudge, just keep your cool, now you’re starting to drool. Eh, fungool. You’re Matty D.

By the way, my favorite part of this story is Scott McClellan’s straight-on response to Roberts’ question: “Not at all, John.” Such a stoic, that one.

Roberts Apologizes, Calls Choice Of Words “Unfortunate” [CBS Public Eye]
Quotes from Grease [IMDB]

Related:
The Story of the Johns Roberts, as told in Rush songs [FishbowlNY]

You’d never know it, but MoDo’s a kind of poet — well, okay, you’d probably know it, the woman has a Pulitzer and is one of the most quoted columnists in America. Though we have to be honest, that “profiterole” line kinda confused us. In any case, here at Fishbowl we are a big fan of funny captions, so we tip our hat to Matt Drudge for his MoDo caption contest. Wish his readers had brought the funny a bit more, though. Michael Wolff, what was it you were saying about Liberals?

Here are the good ones:

NYT’s Dowd to Men: “Why don’t you go jerk yourself a soda”
(that’s Drudge’s contribution)

“For TimesSelect’s amazingly low price of $49.95 a year you also get…”

“Lookin’ for Rove in all the wrong places.”

and my personal favorite:

“Put it on Judy Miller’s tab.”

Fishbowl tried to think of something but man, those shoes just killed it. MoDo, please don’t take offense but I’m pretty sure that drag queen wants his shoes back.

One For MoDo, And One More For The Road [Frank Sinatra]

Er, and we’ll pass them on to ElleGirl, who are looking for the “coolest/cutest/most interesting guy under 25″ for a special year-long feature. Here are the details, sent to me by someone who knows that boys under 25 flock to me like pigeons to randomly-dropped food:

ELLEgirl is searching for the coolest/cutest/most interesting guy under 25. We’re starting with 10 nominees and over the course of a year (ten issues), our readers will vote for their favorite. The last guy standing will win a cash prize of $10,000. We want smart, interesting, good-looking guys with cool stuff going on. (Example: animal rights activist, rapper, graffitti artist, chess champion, photographer, zoologist, Iraq vet, production assistant/filmmaker, designer, street musician, party promoter, hair stylist etc).”

Once again, IT department guys and verbose bloggers are left out of the mix. What gives?

Bah. If you think you’re cute/interesting/cool then let the ElleGirls know (c/o Erin Meanley) — send them your name, age, hometown, a short bio, and a jpeg or a website address (ladies, you can nominate your menfolk!). Hop to it, they’re picking this week. Good luck boys! Feel free to send us your older brothers.

Ew. In addition to being a perjurous justice-obstructing war-mongering Cheney-loving Plame-smearing guy named for a Muppet, apparently I. Lewis Scooter Libby is also kinda skeevy. In addition to trying to cajole Maureen Dowd to do tequila shots with him at the 2003 White House Correspondent’s Dinner after-party (let’s face it, people, today Maureen Dowd IS the news), apparently Scooter has a fairly spicy novel to his credit.

“The Apprentice,” Libby’s 1996 story of Setsuo, a young virgin apprentice at a remote mountain inn in early 20th-century Japan not only tells the story of his romantic awakening by the beautiful Yukiko, but according to the New Yorker‘s Lauren Collins, also contains salacious details of coupling, quivering, and deliberating on whether to have sex with a deer (Collins: “the answer, dear reader, is yes.”)

The above, by the way, refers to a different animal than this passage:

At age 10 the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest.

No way, I thought they only did that in Canada! Just kidding. We’re totally encouraged to fall in love with our patrons.

The bottom line: Scooter makes falafels and loofahs look positively pristine. Also, Lauren Collins is my new favorite writer. HILARIOUS.

p.s. Customers who bought this book also bought “The Politics of Truth: Inside the Lies that Led to War and Betrayed My Wife’s CIA Identity: A Diplomat’s Memoir” by Joseph Wilson. No joke.

Scooter’s Sex Shocker [New Yorker]

There’s no two ways about it: Maureen Dowd is hot. Attractive, yes, but also smart and witty and spicy in that 40′s Katherine-Hepburn-one-liner kind of way. Challenging, playful, spirited; a match for any man — if she deems them necessary, the subject of her upcoming book (and also a previous Fishbowl post right here).

I’d had my suspicions before reading Ariel Levy‘s cover story in this week’s New York, but that is clearly meant to be the takeaway: Levy describes MoDo almost continuously in terms of her sex appeal, reports that she’s “irresistible to men,” compares her to Jessica Rabbit, and makes me very uncomfortable by extensively quoting a gushing Todd Purdum who calls her “bewitching…a sorceress” with whom it is “almost impossible not to be a little bit in love” (NB Purdum seems to have been similarly bewitched by Tim Russert, about whom he writes glowingly in the previously-mentioned-on-Fishbowl NYT article, yet does not address Russert’s failure to address his own role in PlameGate. Oh, Tim, you enchantress!).

Sexy and fantabulous as MoDo surely is, the article has other equally captivating elements, like the treasure trove of casual tidbits about MoDo and her beat, plus glamorous columnista girlfriends like Michiko Kakutani and Alessandra Stanley (Star columnists! They have relationship angst just like us!). It’s dishy, people. Here are a few of the choicest tidbits, plus one very important unanswered question. In no particular order:

• MoDo screens Anna Quindlen’s phone calls.

• The day she won her Pulitzer, Michiko Kakutano called MoDo “nearly in tears” moaning “Now I’ll never get a date!” We think Normal Mailer‘s off the list, at least.
• Judy Miller responded to MoDo’s infamous “Woman of Mass Destruction” op-ed with a 7-point rebuttal email beginning “I like you, too.” Sense of humor, our Judy.
• Jill Abramson, btw, had advised MoDo not to write it.
• She’s also been “buried” under “all this Judy Miller crap.” We have a sneaking suspicion how Jill Abramson might have voted in our Fishbowl Poll.
• Ariel Levy and your editors, hold out your wrists: the Good Witch of the North is GLINDA, for God’s sake! Glinda! My eyes almost popped out of my head at that one. Can’t you just hear her trilling “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?” Here, now you can. In the name of the Lollipop Guild, we wish to welcome you to Munchkinland.
• Todd Purdum has carried MoDo’s bags and fixed her computer in the middle of the night. Aw. That’s sweet. If this were a movie, you’d totally be MoDo’s soulmate. But, life isn’t a movie, Todd Purdum. Buck up.
• Barbara Bush may be jealous of MoDo; George Bush 41 had a soft spot for her. I think it’s safe to say that George Bush 43 does not.
• The article stops short of confirming whether MoDo dated Howell Raines. That seems very weird to me.
• …but no weirder than her dating Michael Douglas.
• …or bringing an extra suitcase of lam&#233 along with her on vacation with Aaron Sorkin.
• Both Michael Kinsley and William Safire tried to talk her out of using the funny, womanly voice that has become her trademark. If I was a better woman, I would find the wiki joke in here that is tantalizingly close. Is there a big strong man out there who can do it for me? Golly gee, thanks.
• MoDo’s mother found Tim Russert bewitching, too.
• Kirk Douglas: “Do you have any idea how hard it is to make love to Lana Turner on an empty stomach?” Honestly Kirk, no, I can’t say I do. But I do know that we have something else in common.
• You’ll watch Nick Lemann cook and you’ll like it, dammit.
• DUDE! MoDo’s fiery head of hair is a keystone of your article — but in three of the accompanying photos she’s got full-on raven locks! What gives? Did she dye it back then or is she bottle-burnished now? It would be nice to clarify such a detail in any case, but seeing how the article is called “The Redhead and The Gray Lady” it kind of demands an answer.
• Aw, nuts: men hate it when a woman uses her critical faculties AND the word “Dude!” Damn.

In yesterday’s NYT mag excerpt from her upcoming book “Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide,” Maureen Dowd looks at why it’s hard for a smart, sexy, sassy, independent thinking woman to catch and keep a man, folding in ruminations on magazine cover lines, ruffles and bows, who pays for dinner and why, when Harvard Business School is hot (and to whom), and why everybody oughta have a maid.

Since I am a soft, mysterious cat (read: an unmarried woman of a certain age, though feel free to be uncertain downward when guessing it), I will leave this one to unjaded and uncynical Fishtern Maureen Miller in “Maureen on Maureen,” what we hope will become a regular feature here on Fishbowl. Take it away, Maureens!

What a fun, sexy time for Maureen Dowd! It’s not just the shoes; Dowd herself said as much about her new book in an interview.

And how we love MoDo’s manifesta, which Matt Drudge has already dubbed “The Red-Shoe Diaries” for its noir-ish accompanying photo. This week’s New York Times Magazine metaphorically smacks The Man upside the head with a spatula via the crackling “What’s a Modern Girl to Do?”, excerpted from November’s <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0399153322/qid=1130713430/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-4999811-4801560?v=glance&s=books&n=507846"Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide. Within hours, the once and future op-ed queen returned to her rightful throne at the number-one spot on the MEL list. I’d say TimesSelect be damned, but this one, thankfully, was gratis.

In the past, I’ve taken issue with Dowd’s brand of screwball feminism (“screwball” in the Hepburn and Tracy sense.. For this previous inspiration, see January 13, 2005′s “Men Just Want Mommy,” where we first heard her oft-repeated quip that “art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.” In the aftermath of the hype behind the spineless Kunkelites, though, who ask we do nothing less than to reject men who don’t deserve us first, I say,” good show”! It’s nothing less than refreshing to see La Dowd take these sad-sacks on for their solipsism and expose the predators within. (Ed. That’s our Fishterns, wishy-washy and unopinionated! Can we pick our Maureens or what?)

A Publishers Weekly advance review complains that Dowd’s anecdotal — i.e. East Coast-centric—approach is “slapdash” without the “slash and burn” of Bushworld, but her breeziness works to better effect in the magazine essay form. Incidentally, the pop of the prose also undermines Dowd’s claim that it’s “increasingly apparent that many women would have to brush up on the venerable tricks of the trade: an absurdly charming little laugh, a pert toss of the head, an air of saucy triumph, dewy eyes and a full knowledge of music, drawing, elegant note writing and geography,” as it is arguably the literary equivalent of the calculated giggle. I’ll take a page out of Dowd’s handbook, though, and “avoid all sarcasm” on that one. That is, I’ll admit I enjoy it, one salty Irish Catholic broad to another. (Ed. For the record, this salty Jew is with you). Say what you want about Dowd’s op-ed screeds; when she’s on the cultural commentary she does best, she’s one funny gal. No barbs to be had here, just the old patented cute ‘n clever, though I excerpt my favorite lines below:

• “Jurassic feminists shudder at the retro implication of a quid profiterole.”

• “After Googling and Bikramming to get ready for a first dinner date, a modern girl will end the evening with the Offering, an insincere bid to help pay the check.”
• Dowd also remarks that “the key to staying cool in the courtship rituals is B. & I., girls say — Busy and Important.” Funny, I always thought the key to staying calm when a-courtin’ was a glass or two of G&T (or is that “T.M.I.”?) (Ed. LOL!)

Remarkably, MoDo even managed to slip in an up-to-the-minute reference to Louise Story‘s infamous September 20 front-page Times story, “Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood.” Dowd quotes Yale history professor Cynthia Russett ” as saying that “that women today are simply more “realistic,” having seen the dashed utopia of those who assumed it wouldn’t be so hard to combine full-time work and child rearing.” Too bad, then, that Russett also told The Nation’s Katha Pollitt just this October 17 that she was quoted out of context:

[H]istory professor Cynthia Russett, quoted as saying that women are “turning realistic,” is happy to go public with her outrage. Says Russett, ‘I may have used the word, but it was in the context of a harsh or forced realism that I deplored. She made it sound like this was a trend of which I approved. In fact, the first I heard of it was from Story, and I’m not convinced it exists.’

Uh, you go, girl? (And shout-out to Pollitt for citing FishBowl in that column!)

I’d take on more of the substance of the article, but I think I’m going to have to take a moment for Me Time instead. The whole schpiel, I fear, left me cringing in recognition. I regret I can only dream that I, like the women Dowd cites in her “courtship” passage, C.B.B. — “can’t be bothered” — by this. Her romp through the gender wars has left me, in one way or another, “malleable and awed.” Guess that makes me an Ivy League postfeminist statistic after all.

(Ed. Maureen — both Maureens, actually — always be bothered. What’s the point otherwise? That’s just one salty Jew’s opinion.)

(P.S. Gentlemen, that stuff I write on the blog about not being able to cook was just a joke. Did you know you can make eggs in the microwave? It’s true!)

Is it just me, or does this feel really convenient? We’re all weary of SCOTUS drama (especially Michael Luttig, who I bet has finally cracked and heaved a large glass object against a wall somewhere), and the right will no doubt complain about foot-dragging Democrats keeping the country from getting back on track. Meanwhile, the Dems will Bork while the Borkin’s good. Oh, my God. I think I just coined THE new cool catchphrase. Totally fetch.

Still, it will be nice to actually hear both sides dig into the issues rather than eyeliner, sugary birthday cards and end-runs around actual answers. Rueful money quote from Bush: “Judge Alito …. has more prior judicial experience than any Supreme Court nominee in more than 70 years.” Man’s got a sense of humor, at least. Point being, this one will be about the nominee, and there’s plenty to chew on in his record. Finally, the philosophical debate for which the Dems have been girding. Ready thy questions of heart, Chuck Schumer!

Bush Picks Radical Right Favorite Judge Samuel Alito For Supreme Court [Yahoo! via HuffPo]

As if we could be exhaustive here; the zone, she is flooded. All we can do is pluck some highlights for your edification.

Tim Russert lets everyone else do the talking: The NYT has a curious piece on Tim Russert‘s “Meet The Press” yesterday. Titled “TV Newsman Is His Own News in the Leak Case,” it sets up a dramatic expectation that Russert actually turned “his trademark attention to an atypical topic: himself.” I read this piece having missed the show and read on looking for exciting revelations. Yet the rest of the piece consists of recapped events, Russert’s comments from phone interviews, and quotes from other people; it’s only halfway down that we are told “Mr. Russert declined to discuss the circumstances of his testimony in much detail beyond the official statements he and NBC issued at the time, and he largely confined himself to repeating those statements on the air on Sunday.” Which kind of means that he wasn’t his own news and didn’t turn his trademark attention to himself, but whatever.

At HuffPo, of course, Arianna sighs loudly and rolls her eyes, annoyed but not surprised that she’s learned nothing new from Russert. She cites Steve Lovelady at CJR who honestly can’t believe Russert could fail to acknowledge the “silent elephant” in the room, saying “nothing. Nada. Non. El zippo. Not one word.” about his role in the matter (and thus joining a distinguished group of journalists who, upon being implicated in PlameGate, promptly clam up: Novak, Miller, and now Russert).

“We’re not being undermined by North Korea…we’re being undermined by our own officials.” This weekend 60 Minutes put together an excellent segment on how the leak affected Valerie Plame, other CIA agents and national security in general. Joseph Wilson says “there have been specific threats” to his wife and family. Other quotes: “One of the worst things about the leak is that it gives America’s enemies clues about how the CIA operates” “She’s an expert in WMDs. These are the kinds of people that don’t grow on trees” “I think any time the identity of a covert agent is released, there is some damage. And it’s serious.” It is an excellent piece. Read it here; watch it here. [via Crooks & Liars]

What did Cheney know and when did he know it? Enquiring minds want to know, specifically the one belonging to Nicholas Kristof, who (like us) wonders if Scooter acted alone and thinks Cheney’s got a choice: explain or resign. Newsweek, meanwhile, devotes their cover to “Cheney’s Man” (aka “Cheney’s Cheney”), saying, interestingly, that Cheney’s influence is on the wane with Dubya (Time says he’s lost confidence in Cheney, Rove and Andrew Card). Drudge, meanwhile, excitedly predicts an executive-privilege showdown when Fitzgerald tries to get Cheney to testify against Libby.

The open question of Novak’s source: Also in Newsweek, crack investigative reporter Michael Isikoff reports that Novak cooperated with Fitzgerald from “early on” and did, in fact, reveal his source — “whom Fitzgerald never charged, apparently because the mystery leaker told the truth to the grand jury.” Also, apparently some eleventh-hour evidence on Rove’s behalf gave Fitzgerald “pause.” Hmm. [Newsweek]

Also: Harry Reid thinks Rove should be fired and said so on “The Week”; David Remnick writes on Bush: insular, arrogant, and all of the sudden, adrift and alone thanks to a “Hell Week” in which all sorts of systemic White House problems came home to roost; Matt Cooper recounts his chat with Scooter; and Frank Rich thinks this one’ll be a long time unravelling.

UPDATE: We can’t be exhaustive, but we can exhaust ourselves trying to be! Salon’s Eric Boehlert made some good pre-and-post “Meet The Press” points on Russert that bear inclusion: (1) Despite the fact that the discrpancy between his and Libby’s testimony got Libby indicted for perjury, “for more than a year, Russert, free to discuss his testimony publicly, never disclosed that key discrepancy himself. He didn’t just bury the lead, he buried the whole story”; (2) he references a “carefully-worded” NBC statement neglects to actually mention that Russert and Libby never discussed Plame: “why was that glaringly important point, which would have caused Libby some discomfort prior to the indictment (as well as advanced the story in 2004), why was that left unsaid?” In hindsight, he says, that seems the opposite of transparent; (3) Boehlert connects some dots following this morn’s NYT piece which, though it “completely fails to mention the deceptions in play” does help explain Russert’s reticence: “Libby’s boss, VP Cheney, has appeared on Russert’s “Meet the Press” no fewer than 10 times since being sworn.” [HuffPo] SIDE NOTE: I find myself going to HuffPo more and more for this kind of dogged attention to detail. Ariannna continues to collect talent. HuffPo is not only a player, but a heavy-hitter. Two weeks shy of six months, people.