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Jessica Alba, meta-nude in Playboy

alba.jpgYou know what I don’t get? Nudity! On magazine covers! Last month, actresses who should know better allowed themselves to be naked on the cover of Vanity Fair; this month, Jessica Alba appears clothed (well, sort of) on the cover of Playboy, and is suing the magazine for the apparently implicit suggestion that she is posing nude inside, which she isn’t.

So– Johannson and Knightley completely naked, but not really nude on the Vanity Fair cover, because, y’know, the photo is an artful exploration of Hollywood glamour, not an exploitation of womens’ bodies. Alba– clothed on the Playboy cover, but, in a theoretical, neo-Bathesian sense, signified as nude, because, well, it’s Playboy.

I’m so confused. I’m never going to know whether or not I’m really naked ever again.

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