[Ed.—Pay attention, dear reader, because this is one our very, very rare Service Journalism™ posts.]

So you're sitting around the office [Ed.—we find that second person works best for Service pieces] wondering, "What kind of wedding present should I get Graydon Carter and Anna Scott? I mean, what do you get a guy who spends vacations on Ron Perelman's yacht and then plasters Perelman's wife all over Vanity Fair? He's already up to his ears in consulting fees and makes more money than god (well, by magazine editor standards, anyway). Is there anything he doesn't already have?"

Yes, there is! [Ed.—This is how Service Journalism™ pieces are structured, right? I haven't done one in so long, I don't remember.]

First, a few fishbowlNY in-house suggestions:
· A carton of smokes. (Mike Bloomberg, this one's got your name all over it. C'mon; be a mensch!)
· A ball gag. (Sized to fit you, Toby.)
· $100,000 in small unmarked bills. (Brian Grazer, this one's for you!)

Some suggestions from Graydon Carter and Anna Scott's Bergdorf Goodman registry, which I obtained using my hardcore investigative reporting skills (call Bergdorf's; ask them to fax):

· Linens: always good. Specifically, Leontine Linens. Suggested theme: paisley. (WH NECKROLL W/WH PAISLEY, $200 EA., WH QUEEN FLAT /WH PAISLEY $550 EA., WH ST CASES W/WH PAISLEY $190 EA., ETC., ETC.)
· Silver: a classic! (CHRISTOFLE STERLING 5 PC SETTING $590 EA., STERLING SOUP LADLE $540 EA., STERLING RICE/CASSEROLE LADLE $330 EA.)
· A tea pot! Scott is after all, English, and one can never have too many tea pots anyway. (SI KIANG TEA POT BY RAYNAUD, $392 EA.)
· First edition books. Thoughtful, original and they go a long way in helping the recipient get taken seriously despite his borderline pathological obsession with Hollywood. [Ed.—Actually, the books are probably for Anna.] What's on the reading list?
- THE PRIMROSE PATH BY OGDEN NASH, 1935 ($150)
- THE COMPLETE BOOK OF ENTERTAINING, 1961 ($90)
- EVELYN WAUGH BY CHRISTOPHER SYKES, 1975 ($60)
- MOTORCARS OF THE GOLDEN PAST BY KEN W. PURDY, 1966 ($125)
- THE HELL WITH FISHING BY ED ZERN, 1945 ($50)
- SCOTLAND'S DANCES BY H.A. THURSTON, 1954 ($85)
- JAPANESE BY CECIL BEATON, 1959 ($410)*

*(not a first edition, but nonetheless...)