TVNewser: Piers Morgan is writing a memoir tentatively titled How to Annoy People Without Really Trying.

AllTwitter: Joan Rivers said “When it all goes to shit, don’t worry, it’ll all come back.” This was also the original title of Cypress Hill’s “When The Shit Goes Down.”

GalleyCat: A good roundup of job changes at book publishing houses. It’s exciting.

Sorry, folks. Our fair Diane Clehane is off for the day, but Lunch will be back next week. (Hmm, wonder who got her usual perch at Michael’s?) In the meantime, check out some of her recent celebrity spottings and interviews:

Bravo ‘Newlyweds’ Alaska and Kim Dish on Reality TV Instafame

David Zinczenko on His New ‘High-Profile Life’ and the Real Story Behind His Leaving Rodale

Isabella Rossellini’s Animal Instincts

The National Society of Newspaper Columnists has announced the finalists for its 2013 column contest. One name to note: Roger Ebert. His column was nominated in the Online, Blog and Multimedia category.

Congrats to all the nominees, who we’ve listed below. The winners will be named June 29.

General Interest, Newspapers over 50,000 Circulation

Dave Lieber, Fort Worth Star-Telegram; Thomas Rademacher, The Grand Rapids Press; Rich Telander, Chicago Sun-Times.

Humor, Newspapers over 50,000 Circulation

Samantha Bennett, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette; Bob Dyer, Akron Beacon Journal; Brian O’Connor, The Detroit News.

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Bloomberg Businessweek is taking a creative approach to nabbing new readers: It’s calling them out for being deadbeats. The magazine has launched a minisite BBWgetsyouahead.com to get people interested. BBW jokes aside, the site offers digital gift cards — good for 12 free issues of Businessweek — that people can send to Millennials who are underemployed or unemployed and still living with the moms and pops.

There are 42 different gift cards, each with a humorous tagline like “Even Snooki has a job.” The cards and the site are part of a larger ad campaign titled “Bloomberg Businessweek Gets You Ahead.”

Free Businessweek is nice, but it probably won’t help any of those 18 to 34 year olds actually get a job or their own place. But hey, they might as well have a good magazine to peruse while deepening the dent in the living room couch.

Time.com is about to get a makeover, and as part of that, the magazine is hiring. Adweek is reporting that Time, led by Edward Felsenthal, Time.com’s managing editor, is hiring 30 staffers. The new additions are expected to focus on the digital side. ”We want to play in a bigger space and on a bigger scale,” Felsenthal told Adweek. “We play in the general news space very strongly, and we want to play stronger.”

WWD, on the other hand, says that Time is only hiring “around 15 staffers to fill junior and senior positions.” So which one is correct? Well, who really cares. The important thing is that Time is hiring. No need to nitpick.

Meanwhile, details on the new look Time.com are scarce. Adweek notes that it will be mobile friendly and WWD has sources claiming it’s going to look like The Daily Beast. As long as it’s not covered in GIFs, we’ll be happy with whatever.

Dr. Oz, doctor to millions of Americans who believe anything someone famous says, is closer to launching that magazine we first heard about in January. The New York Post reports that Oz and Hearst are in the “final stages,” and if the debut goes as planned, it will be gigantic.

Expected to launch at the end of the year, Oz’s magazine is backed by some big Hearst guns. Jeff Hamill, the publishing house’s executive VP of sales, is chatting up media buyers, and Ellen Levine, Hearst’s editorial director, is overseeing content. Oz’s glossy will also come packing a robust 800,000 rate base, with an expected 350,000 from newsstand sales.

That’s impressive. Almost as impressive as building a career of off flimsy medical advice. Almost.

Suzy Menkes has been named international fashion editor of the International New York Times (previously the International Herald Tribune) that debuts later this year. Menkes was most recently fashion editor for the Herald Tribune.

“Fashion and lifestyle coverage have always been in the IHT’s DNA and under Suzy Menkes that coverage has become world-renowned,” said Stephen Dunbar-Johnson, publisher of the IHT, in a statement. “As international fashion editor of the International New York Times, Suzy will bring her distinctive and authoritative voice to a wider global audience across print, mobile and web platforms.”

“Suzy is a force of nature in the fashion world. I am so proud of our unrivaled fashion coverage,” added Jill Abramson, executive editor of the Times.

Do you have the New York Times Best Seller list memorized? Do you have a passion for books and want to get into the publishing business?

In this episode of “Score That Job,” career expert, author and mediabistro editor Vicki Salemi sat down with Andrea Weinzimer of New York based Hachette Book Group to get the inside dirt on what they’re looking for in a candidate.

Here a few tips — know the industry and know which authors they publish (hint: rhymes with James Patterson, Nicholas Sparks, David Sedaris…). Or just watch the video.

You can view our other MediabistroTV productions on our YouTube Channel.

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Sources: ESPN Laying Off Hundreds (Deadspin)
ESPN laid off a portion of its staff Tuesday, a network spokesman confirmed to us. How many? ESPN won’t say. A tipster told us earlier that it would be more than 400 staffers. A source at ESPN said that number is a little high, but it appears to be in the hundreds. FishbowlNY An ESPN spokesperson emailed to tell us that they hadn’t cut 400 staffers. When we asked how many were let go, “We’re not getting into particulars but it is fewer than 400″ was all we got back. USA Today / Big Lead Sports According to an ESPN source, the layoffs will come mostly, but “not exclusively,” from tech and sales departments (think regional offices: Denver, Las Vegas, Seattle). ESPN is reviewing its entire studio production department over the next three-to-four weeks, which is about 2,800 employees. It is possible some shows will be cut. These layoffs are part of a Disney-wide process. THR News of layoffs comes less than two weeks after Disney’s media networks segment rose 6 percent to $4.96 billion, with operating income up 8 percent to $1.86 billion. One of the company’s most consistently lucrative properties, ESPN has enjoyed increased affiliate revenue in 2013. Read more