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Posts Tagged ‘Bernie Mac’

Breaking: Honesty in Craigslist Writing Gigs Ad

We were half tempted to email him and find out who it is. Half.

This guy is right and being totally upfront – he does need writers:

STANDUP JOKE WRITER WANTED (L.A.)
Reply to: gigs-fhssg-1134352021@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-04-22, 6:07AM PDT

Nationally known standup comedian (from The Howard Stern Show & more) seeks joke writer. Send sample of jokes in vein of Def Comedy Jam, Chris Rock, Bernie Mac, Richard Pryor, Chris Tucker. Point of view is black, angry, dirty, even ghetto. Imitate, even parody Eddie Griffin and Paul Mooney.

Send one page of sample jokes. (Your next question is, how do you know I won’t steal them? Answer: because I’m not Carlos Mencia or Robin Williams. I do not steal. Also, you would see me do them on TV and sue me.)

EXAMPLE: Y’all watch UFC – Ultimate Fighting Championship? White folks love that shit. They should call it Ultimate Fighting Caucasians. Brothers hate that shit, cause we already got Ultimate Fighting Championship: its called PRISON. Same thing: they lock yo ass in a cage, some motherfucka beat yo ass to a pulp, then grab yo dick. Oh yeah, there’s some dick grabbing going on in UFC. If you watch UFC, you part fag. Guys in tights, wrestling and grabbing each other, music blasting – that shit’s like a gay nightclub. You call it UFC, I call it West Hollywood.

Saw this movie called Candy Man. Horror movie about a black man going around killing white folks. That’s my kinda movie. I like the premise: 1) he’s black and 2) he kills white folks. Genius. But how come he don’t gotta mask? Friday the 13th: Jason gotta mask. Halloween: Mike Meyer’s gotta mask: Nightmare On Elm Street: Freddy Krueger got a mask. How come the Candy Man ain’t got no mask? ‘Cause white folks think a black man scary enough just being black. What’s next? A movie called: Black Man. What’s he do, stab people? No. Chop people up? No. Hide in the bushes, jump out & do some scary shit? Nope. What’s he do? Just stand there and be black. AHHHHH! I got nightmares.

* Location: L.A.
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation:

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FBLA Exclusive: Inside the New Microsoft Campaign

microsoft_logo.jpgNews has broke that pioneering funny man Jerry Seinfeld will be the spokesperson for Microsoft.

Top-notch ad guy Alex Bogusky is the brains behind the operation. The man responsible for making MINI Coopers cool when gas was still $2 a gallon. And perhaps the sole reason guys 18-22 think they have discerning taste by choosing Burger King.

Our insider says the whole campaign is focused on ‘everyday’ people using Windows in real situations. Some of the options the agency has been floating around have been a reporter on Humvee, an Obama/McCain speech writer, a DJ – a blues musician. There was a crew that traveled all over the world filming humanitarian workers.

Not to be out done by ‘real people’ there are tons of celebrities that the campaign may also feature. At the moment the names that have been put into the mix are Sarah Silverman, Willie Nelson, motorcycle rider Travis Pastrana, Matthew McConaughey and Ralph Nadar. Also in what seems like a direct answer to the Mac campaign – Rob Corddry and Stephen Colbert may also do a spot.

Most notable of the names is that of the late great Bernie Mac (insert lame pun ‘burning Mac’ here).

Yeah, it’s bigger than Seinfeld. It’s a $300 million campaign to convince people that the world’s largest software maker is also the coolest. As refugees of the Cola Wars in the 1980′s we think they could take that $300 million and just make Vista not meltdown every couple months. You know, ‘what’s the deal with my operating system needing a major downgrade to be functional?’

Bernie Mac Dead at 50

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In the comedy world – when a comic kills – destroys and there’s no way to follow – you just give it up. It’s a thing of respect. You can’t improve on that. Can’t go up from there. It’s said. It’s done. That’s the way we feel about the Chicago Tribune‘s send off of their native son Bernie Mac. They crushed it.

And all we have left to say is: Mr. Mac, you went out on top, motherfucker!

In The Trades: New Movies, New Shows, New Titles

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Francis Ford Coppola’s first film since 1997, Youth Without Youth, might be acquired by Tom Cruise’s United Artists. The film is based on a novel by Romanian anthropologist/historian Mircea Eliade. Coppola shot the film in Romania in 2006 for around $5 million. It’s said to be an “arty Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

Pride, while following the script for inspirational sports movies, is better than most. First timer Sunu Gonera (he’d been a commercial director in Cape Town)directs Terrence Howard and Bernie Mac in the story of an African-American swim team that beats the odds.

National Geographic re-ups the Dog Whisperer and schedules Dino Autopsy, Fight Schience II, Naked Science and Taboo.

Preternaturally perky producer Lynda Obst re-teams with Marc Rosen for a new production company, housed at Paramount. While the usual Kate Hudson chick-flix are on the roster, they’re also doing Interstellar, a Spielberg-directed sci-fi movie.

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Apple will release the entire new season of The Andy Milonakis Show on iTunes, before the show airs on MTV. This time, Milonakis cavorts in LA.

Deanna Brown leaves Yahoo for Scripps where she’ll oversee the HGTV and Food Network sites as the president of the Interactive Group. She was another of those Yahoo hires who couldn’t seem to get anything really innovative greenlit. Is anyone left at Yahoo?
Stan Lee vs. Marvel in Super Hero Legal Battle.

Peter Bogdonovich and his biz manager are sued by some guy who claims he paid $100,000 to get his kid a PA job with the director. You’d think 100K would buy some sort of producer credit.