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Posts Tagged ‘Cary Tennis’

Cary Tennis on How NOT to Get a Writing Job

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Salon’s verbose advice columnist Cary Tennis struggles to answer a simple question:

How can I get a writing job?

He thinks newbie writers can just snag interview subjects by deception:

If there is an interview do the interview. If the interview subject asks, What publication? say you’re freelance. Don’t say the name of the publication. The subject will call people at the publication and they will say they’ve never heard of you. Then it will seem like you made something up. They don’t like that. They can be touchy. They think they’re important. So be honest: You are freelance.

Oh yeah, that’ll work. Call up Joan Walsh and try that line. Of course, the esteemed Heather Havrilesky lied to get her copy-editing job with suck.com. But that was then.

FBLA refers ingenue writers to the excellent advice offered here, right at mediabistro.com.

Re: image above. Unfortunately, the game doesn’t allow the player to negotiate kill fees, wrestle editors into submission and blast fact checkers into oblivion with a specially equipped laptop of death.

Mediabistro Course

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Cary Tennis Answer is 20x Longer than Letter

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Cary Tennis, Salon’s navel-gazing advice columnist sets a new record.

The letter–48 words.

Unmarried marriage counselor feels like a fraud.

The answer–895 words.

You’re not, you’re helping, seek professional help.

Readers chime in:

How can psychiatrists help someone with schizophrenia, if they do not hallucinate themselves?

Maybe she should get a new job talking to people who dont have sex very much.

You are no more qualified to counsel couples in crisis than a blind man would be qualified to compete in an Olympic archery competition.

This letter wasn’t nearly as popular as the stripper getting her PhD.

Salon, Slate Advice Columns Get Same Fake Letter

FBLA knew this would happen.

Slate’s Dear Prudence gets the same letter that Salon’s Cary Tennis got earlier this month.

I am the father of a 13-year-old daughter whose mother has been taking her to an evangelical Christian church her whole life.

Tennis told the guy to suck it up and take the kid to church.

Prudence let the guy off the hook.

Prudie readers like her better but Tennis gets more responses.

Sundown on Sunset: Fanning the Flames

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Smart Shopper?
Mirthala Salinas bought her “luxury” condo from a lobbyist. Go figure.

Cheap Advice Faceoff
Salon’s Cary Tennis tells selfish reader to go to granny’s funeral, vs
Slate’s Dear Prudence tells insane mom that 5 year kid is not a slut.

Red Skies Over Montana Ave.
The science of sunsets and smog.

Sleep Well, Sweet Prince
Downtown LA lost a activist: Joel Bloom, actor, playwright and merchant. Memorial services tonight, 5 pm, at Joel Bloom Square.

Salon Reader Misses Celebrity Sex By Tiny Little Amount: FBLA Wants to Know Why

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Cary Tennis, Slate’s agony auntie, answers a letter from some guy who could have hooked up, but didn’t, with a woman he calls

a midlevel business leader and newsmaker, someone who’s not a celebrity, but whose name and accomplishments most Americans would know, or know of.

The letter writer and the flirty newsmaker had a magic moment, sent provocative emails, and then she lost interest. Cary’s advice? Who cares? What matters is who is this chick?

One of the anony-mice suggests that the bewitching mogul could be Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman at eBay, and Linda Cook at Shell. Or Wendy McCaw up in Santa Barbara. Or maybe it was Alexis Carrington Colby.