Joan Rivers, of all people, feigns boredom: Joan Rivers hunkers down with a VH1 camera crew and some blogging software in what we imagine is the first of an ongoing effort to eliminate her presence from the Red Carpet (and possibly the planet) forever.

In a video explanation on EmmysWithJoan.com, she pretends to be happy with the arrangement:

I don’t have to lie anymore and tell people like Diane Keaton, “Oh don’t you look great?” When in reality, she looked like Charlie Chaplin, only in drag and with a much bigger mustache.

Her inane babble is no different in print than on the Red Carpet, except for one key difference — online, Joan acts bored.

For those of you who are as bored as I am with this shit, Gunfight at the OK Corral is on Turner Classic Movies. And it’s Gem Week on QVC! Not everybody likes Kanye West, but everybody likes lapis! And 31-7 Patriots.

Seriously? The only reason Gemstar plugs you into your generator at night is because some housewife in Omaha howls every time you open your trap at one of these awards shows. Suck it up, blogger.

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