Rodes Fishburne emailed us over the holiday weekend to share a list of the top ten questions a novelist can expect to hear on his or her book tour, based on his experiences visiting bookstores to read from his debut novel, Going to See the Elephant:

1. Is your novel fiction or non-fiction?
2. Can you make it out to “Dear blank”? It’ll sell for more on Ebay that way.
3. Do you know when my bookmobile’s getting a copy?
4. Do you have Stephanie Meyer’s email address?
5. Really, really loved your novel, can you read my manuscript? By Friday?

If you’ve been on a book tour but haven’t heard any of those, perhaps the next five will seem familiar…

1. Do you have John Grisham’s cell number?
2. My mother’s a big reader. I’m more into taxidermy!
3. If I read your book with clean hands can I return it for a full refund?
4. Have you read The Karl Lagerfeld Diet? Now that was a great book.
5. Can you just tell me what happens? I’m pressed for time.

Still not experiencing any flashbacks? Feel free to share some of the wackiest questions lobbed your way in the comments (or you can reach Ron Hogan or Jason Boog on Twitter…