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Anonymous Messaging Services Continue to Send Terrible Pitches

This week, anonymous messaging service Leak — which is indistinguishable from Secret and Whisper in allowing people to take their private thoughts from the comment section directly to someone else’s phone — got a bit of attention in the tech press.

That attention was almost completely negative due to the company’s painfully creepy “I do not were panties today” pitch. Yet related startups have either not received the message or (more likely) received it all too eagerly.

Here’s an email that our colleague received this morning from “coworker”:

anonymous

Can you see us shaking our heads through the screen?

As Vox told us last week, these apps are growing more popular because people apparently enjoy receiving messages that read “I think you’re so sexy, even if you’re fat” — especially when they have no idea who sent them! How charming!

The pitch above goes a bit further: it’s for Company Secrets, a service that somehow promises to allow users to share anonymous messages strictly with co-workers.

CompanySecrets

The service’s terms and conditions page tells us that users cannot use it to send ”content that is defamatory or libellous”. They also can’t use it to “Intimidate, threaten, bully, stalk or harass any other person, including but limited to other users of the Service” or “deliberately embarrass, shame or upset any other person, including but limited to other users of the Service.”

As if. Surely you realize that these statements negate your product’s core purpose.

Got it. Now stop emailing us — anonymously or otherwise.

Oh, and readers: please say you’re not downloading this app right now.

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