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This Just In

THIS JUST IN: Teacher Takes 11 Kids on Field Trip…in Her Honda Accord

THIS JUST IN 2Teachers are responsible for some of the most important work on the planet: educate our future generations.

Despite what Time magazine staffers think about their locked-in job security (and sometimes, rightly so), teachers deserve much more respect and pay for what they have chosen to do for a living.

That said, there are other teachers out there who make Rosie O’Donnell look like a nice, sweet lady…and then there is this woman from some backwoods, high-heels-and-socks town in Oklahoma who took 11 kids on a field trip.

In a Honda Accord. With two students in her trunk.

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THIS JUST IN: the Most Uncomfortable Moment in Family Feud History

family feudThis story is why we created this category.

You see, during a slow news day — or when it every station is focused on a certain malignant, terrorizing disease — a PR professional needs a little levity. And on one of the seven days, God created game shows.

There’s a reason why the Game Show Network is so successful. Anything from newfangled game shows like The Chase to the oldies but goodies like Match Game can make the heart smile. And then there’s the awesome reboot of Family Feud, which purposely tries to trip up the audience, Steve Harvey, and the viewing public at large with asinine answers that are probably trolled from Gawker or BuzzFeed, as you can see pictured (and not Photoshopped!!) here.

However, this week gave us what had to be the most uncomfortable moment in Family Feud history.

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THIS JUST IN: New Jersey Police Officer Crashes Into Dunkin Donuts

THIS JUST IN 2Okay. Stop me if you have heard this one: A cop is hungry so he drives as fast as he can to the local donut shop and…

We know. It’s a stereotype even older than “white people can’t dance” or “journalists drink coffee all day every day.

Having worked for a police department for six great years, we can tell you that Krispy Kreme never sponsored any related fundraisers. Not even a grocery store deli offer to make their cheap, knock-off glazed doorstops for the boys and girls in blue. Nonetheless, police officers do adore donuts.

And then a cop from South Jersey set the entire force back a decade or two.

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THIS JUST IN: North Carolina Town Council Approves Street Named After Local Klansman

THIS JUST IN 2America has been doing so well lately.

We elected an African American President and both of our most recent administrations had female Secretaries of State. Much of the country is also standing behind Native Americans as they take on Daniel Snyder, owner of a certain Washington football team, and whatever flacks he can afford.

And just when you get comfortable resting in the warm embrace of Lady Liberty, she belches, loses her composure, and drops you into Hudson Bay.

Welcome to Fair Bluff, N.C. where the town council recently approved a street to be named after a man with a dubious distinction — a former Ku Klux Klan leader convicted in 1952 for his role in a local flogging.

Ah, yes.

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THIS JUST IN: Goldman Sachs Thinks Walmart’s Reign Is Coming To An End

THIS JUST IN 2When the humble folks who run Walmart in Bentonville, Arkansas (and NOT the equally famous “People of Walmart“) read the story that inspired this headline, they almost certainly voiced expletives and other things we can’t write in this post because Mediabistro insists that this is a family show.

According to this article from HuffPo, a research note published by Goldman Sachs analysts predicted the slow but certain demise of big chain box stores like Walmart and Target — and slapped the companies’ stock prices around a bit in the process.

Now, it’s going to take much more than that topple that king of the discount mountain.

The article, however, did pull out some plastic guns to blow holes in that argument…

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THIS JUST IN: Super-Hungry Supermodel Busted for Stealing Food

THIS JUST IN 2The modeling industry has a terrible reputation and it seems a legion of finely tuned, hipster publicists couldn’t correct that.

What with serial airbrushing on covers of the beautiful people, only a certain — shall we say, homogenized-type person — has a future on certain publications and whatever the hell those people wear during “Fashion Week.”

However, the most detrimental stigma to the world of modeling is eating disorders. People to need a waif, or possibly a refugee, to fit in and get noticed. Like I always say, “Stereotypes become a type for a reason.”

And then a model gets caught lifting food at a NYC bodega because she had the munchies. However, it’s what she stole that made news.

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THIS JUST IN: Study Says ‘Cheap, Fast Food Could Contribute to Obesity’

THIS JUST IN 2I know, right?!

I mean in this world of microwavable news and drive-thru headlines, you would think this country would not have missed this before now. Fret no longer, fellow Americans. The American Cancer Society (ACS) has put those fears to rest, thanks to its latest press release.

In this “groundbreaking” release, the ACS cites a review that says fast food and its dastardly inexpensive price points are to blame for obesity.

Reasons for this rise in obesity have been suggested in the review, such as “snack food, automobiles, television, fast food, computer use, vending machines, suburban housing developments, and portion size.”

*facepalm*  Read more

THIS JUST IN: ‘Judgment Maps’ Are Now a Thing

THIS JUST IN 2We all have our favorite map apps, with most of the debate placing Google Maps and Apple Maps in the coliseum in a fight to the death. Hopefully, first up in homicide will be that bimbo scolding me with “recalculating.”

Anywho, while GPS makers try to keep their products relevant, there is another kind of maps quickly populating Web browsers across this great land of ours — JudgmentalMaps.com.

These annotated maps take a comedic, but arguably realistic, slant on how to get about town. How many times have you been new in a city and wondered where are the places to avoid? Well, this is the map for you.

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THIS JUST IN: Equifax Sued by ‘God’

THIS JUST IN 2As a refresher, why do we do this column in PRNewser?

At PRNewser, we love the random tips and toolslisticles and ancillary research. However, we’ve noticed certain stories trending in the news recently: crap that just can’t be grouped with anything else other than, well, other crap.

So, you see, at times there are PR stories that don’t fit snugly in a cushy box. And this particular tale could be terrible PR: not for the big guy upstairs but for the big credit bureau downstairs.

No, this isn’t a joke. No, this isn’t a slap on the church wrist. This is real — “God” is suing credit authority bureau Equifax for taking his name in vain by refusing to believe that it’s real.  Read more

THIS JUST IN: Cannabis Sales Creating Some High Times for U.S. Business

THIS JUST IN 2If you watch the news, you may recall there was this mild kerfuffle about legalizing the hippie lettuce.

And in Seattle and Denver (where they smoke so much weed that with a good southern and western front, the entire state of Idaho is baked for about 10 days), it was permitted.

People were happy rolling more joints than burritos. Hipsters would sit on the City Hall steps in makeshift Hookah lounges. And the police would just mosey on by, while considering a trip to get some waffles from some reason.

Then, this report from the Marijuana Business Daily (yes, that’s a thing) offers some reasons on why marijuana may be legalized nationwide in a couple of years. In fact, 8 billion of them. Read more

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