“So Bill, what you’re telling me is that Napoleon was a short, dead dude.”

He was! But he may also be the founding father of PR as we know it today—at least according an article in Investors Daily this week.

After the French revolutionaries overthrew the monarchy in the late 18th century, Napoleon was just one of many generals leading armies as they fought to take control of land throughout Europe. But he came up with a great idea to further his own power: commandeer media outlets and use them to his advantage.

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German filmaker Werner Herzog, a living legend who founded his production company in 1963 has put his heft behind a brutal, 35-minute public service announcement as part of AT&T’s It Can Wait campaign. The multi-facet initiative is designed to get people to stop texting while driving.  Herzog pulls you into personal stories of personal tragedy remarkably fast–there’s no action, no breaks and no way to hide from the issue when you watch and listen to his chosen subjects tell their stories.

“From One Second To The Next” will be distributed to more than 40,000 high schools in time for the school year.  Here’s the kicker from TechHive gleaned a Newsday story: Texting while driving has now surpassed drinking while driving as the top cause of teen driving deaths, resulting in some 3,000 deaths a year and 300,000 injuries. That’s just one segment of the population.  We applaud AT&T’s efforts to draw attention to this horrible growing problem.

You can view the entire documentary on YouTube:

This is the most important news you’ll read all day. Actress, Julia Roberts niece and accused boyfriend beater Emma Roberts didn’t feel like standing in a ridiculously long line to get one of those mythical “cronuts” at Manhattan’s Dominique Ansel Bakery, so she (allegedly) dragged her publicist to the door and tried the “don’t you know who I am” trick.

Anyone who went to kindergarten knows that no one gets to bully his or her way to the front of any line, especially when a doorman waits at the end. Before you ask: yes, the bakery has a doorman—and yes, he told an “embarrassed” Roberts to go to the back of the queue, where she smiled for paparazzi and signed autographs before leaving due to boredom, or something like that.

Later she appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, where she claimed that she hadn’t even realized there was a line. The host took a break from laughing at his own jokes to graciously grant her access to the deep-fried goodness she not-so-desperately wanted.

Note to publicists: this is why they hate us.

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Our lives are non-stop — we hear it all the time. If we’re not in a meeting, running an errand, cooking dinner or squeezing in a workout, then we’re probably on our smartphones either planning these things, doing them virtually, or posting about them on social networks. We, as a society, have forgotten how to be still.

Enter Amstel beer and its own take on the smart vending machine trend — stand perfectly still for three straight minutes and this harbinger of serenity will reward you with a free beer. The message is pretty clear: take a break from your hectic life with an Amstel. Simple, yet perfectly on point.

If this sounds like an easy way to earn a free beer, take three minutes of your Friday and try actually remaining perfectly still (no checking Facebook, no fidgeting, no phone calls) without getting antsy — it’s harder than you’d think! But it is rewarding (even without the free beer).

Here’s the associated commercial out of Bulgaria:

GolinHarris announced the promotion of Adam Pawluk to executive creative director in its New York office. Pawluk will continue serving key clients, such as Unilever, Vivus, GSK, and Digicel. He will also play a key role in new business development and continue to lead the creator community for the office. Creators are integral in the agency’s g4 model, charged with developing bold and innovative ideas and creating effective content. Prior to joining GolinHarris in 2008, Pawluk served as vice president at Ogilvy Public Relations and Ketchum working on a number of healthcare and consumer accounts. (Release)

CP+B has welcomed three new creative directors to its Boulder office: Sesh Moodley, Matthew Elhardt and Avital Pinchevsky. Moodley arrives from AKQA, where he spent nearly a year as creative director in the agency’s San Francisco office. Prior to AKQA, Moodley has had a variety of global stints, spending several years as a senior creative at the Sydney offices of both Leo Burnett and Lowe and as a CD at Naked Communications. Elhardt, a 20-year industry vet, has freelanced as a variety of agencies ranging from TBWA\MAL to W+K but has also served as a CD proper at TBWA\Chiat\Day itself as well as Carmichael Lynch and 180LA. Finally, Pinchevsky arrives from DDB South Africa, where she spent the last 18 months or so as creative director on McDonald’s. During her career, she’s also served as an ACD at BBDO New York and as a copywriter at Y&R Tel Aviv. The new hires will all work across accounts in their roles at CP+B. (AgencySpy)

SHIFT announced that it has named Paul Ollinger as president of the company. Spending the last 15 years in executive and advisory roles, Ollinger most recently served as vice president of sales for Facebook’s west region. Ollinger has a rich background in social media marketing and technology. In 2007, Ollinger joined Facebook as one of its original 250 employees and focused on business and sales growth. As vice president of sales for Facebook’s west region, Ollinger and his team designed and implemented social marketing strategies as the space grew through its formative years and matured into a powerful opportunity for businesses of all types. Prior to joining Facebook, Ollinger worked in sales and business development roles at LAUNCH.com and Yahoo! Ollinger will continue to serve as an advisor to startup companies 8tracks and LeanKit. (Release)

The Washington Post: E-book Sales Level Off as Genre Fiction Goes Digital Mainstream

BusinessWeek: Under Pressure, NCAA Quits Lucrative Jersey Market

PR Daily: ’Hunger Games’ Themed Camp Not Starving for Attention

Adweek: Twinkies Rebranded as Dude Food

Advertising Age: NFL Places Ads in Fashion Magazine Marie Claire

Get ready to head back to school. Pepperdine University is looking for a new director of communications to develop its central communications efforts.

In this role, you’ll be responsible for the school’s communications strategy, developing and implementing an image-building public and media relations program. You’ll also handle editorial, traditional and digital media, crisis management and social and community outreach, while serving as the university’s spokesperson. Read more

For a minute, we were all paying attention to Newsweek again. But just as quickly as our heads whipped around when we heard that the title had been sold to IBT Media, the company that owns International Business Times, our heads whipped back the other way because Jeff Bezos bought The Washington Post.

Newsweek, which was meant to be revived by its association with Tina Brown’s site The Daily Beast, instead seems to be even more of a shell of the notable newsweekly it once was. For one, it stopped printing seven months ago and went all digital. Then, a number of notable staff left, including CEO Baba Shetty and editor Tunku Varadarajan. Finally, you had Newsweek owner Barry Diller saying publicly, “I wish I hadn’t bought Newsweek, it was a mistake.” Diller’s point was that a newsweekly’s time had passed at the rise of Twitter and other instant news. Sales pitching at its finest!

But the companies involved here would have us believe that this is a great sale and a great brand.

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“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”—Oscar Wilde

TARA, Ink., a boutique public relations, creative marketing and special events firm specializing in the New York, Los Angeles, Dallas and Miami Beach markets, is pleased to announce the addition of UK-based retailer Superdry to its roster.

TARA, Ink.’s charges include media relations, product placement, special event conceptualization, celebrity dressing, and influencer outreach. The agency will report to the North American President of Superdry, Stephen Cox.

The Superdry Womenswear Autumn/Winter ‘13 collection offers sophisticated street style with preppy flair executed in bright colors, bold stripes, floral patterns, hooded Eskimo capes and nautical-themed peacoats. The exclusive London Thomas Everest Collection makes its way to America, with the popular Everest coat now available in a bomber as well as longer styles. Other pieces include the Ernest dress in tweed herringbone, the sequined glitter ball skirt, signature style Windcheaters, Tin Tab tees, and colorful leathers.

“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.”—Woody Allen

Balsera Communications, one of the nation’s premier U.S. Hispanic public relations firms, has been named the agency of record by Vme Television, the first national Spanish-language public television network in the United States. Balsera will be leading public relations and public affairs strategies for Vme in the United States.

“Over the past ten years the U.S. Hispanic demographic has not only grown in numbers, but it has also become more sophisticated,” said President and Partner, David Duckenfield, Balsera Communications. “We believe Vme is uniquely positioned to provide this new, up and coming Hispanic market the unique and educational programming that it is craving while also catering to the bilingual lifestyle that they are now embracing.”

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”—W.C. Fields Read more

Today in Ridiculously Overpaid Athletes Are People Too news, New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is the latest beefed-up domino to fall in baseball’s ongoing steroid scandal. MLB commissioner Bud Selig decided to make an example of “Captain Rodriguez” with the longest suspension in the history of America’s Pastime.

The MLB Players Association appealed the decision on behalf of A-Rod, who is the only one of the 13 accused players to fight his suspension. Quite telling that the other 12 immediately ‘fessed up, isn’t it? The ensuing legal back-and-forth ensures that he will be able to wear a Yankees uniform for the rest of the season (which won’t last very long, considering the Bronx Bombers’ current 56-55 record).

PR to the rescue! According to The USA Today, Berk Communications President and “A-Fraud” publicist Ron Berkowitz posted a since-deleted tweet on Tuesday that read a little, shall we say, combative.

Hello Chicago!!! Lets do this!!! #fighting

—   Ron Berkowitz (@ronberk1) August 5, 2013

What was that all about? Well, in what one reporter called “an exceptional lack of self awareness,” A-Rod told the media “I’m fighting for my life,” strongly implying that Major League Baseball has it in for him. Poor guy.

So what will he do? And what should he do?

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