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Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’

Parisian Christmas Tree/Sex Toy Vandalized by Mystery Elves

paris christmas tree

Quick quiz: What in the Yuletide halls is this?!

No, it’s not a unique pawn in a really large game of chess or an oddly colored wine-bottle stopper for the world’s largest jug of fermented juice.

From The Atlantic’s CityLab, we learn this piece of contemporary something or other is a sculpture by the American artist Paul McCarthy called “Tree.” It’s supposed to serve as the centerpiece of the International Contemporary Art Fair (FIAC).

It also looks like a certain sex toy…and now it’s flat as a pancake. Bad PR for the global art community.

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THIS JUST IN: Scut Farkus of A Christmas Story Hates Bullies

THIS JUST IN 2Over the holidays, we all have traditions. Some are the banes of our existence and others we choose to embrace.

Many of us go to family get-togethers and use our Shazam app to discover who in the hell just came in the front door. Others fight over the turkey leg with that drunk Uncle Ed (we all have one of those). Several folk debate the genuine thought of procrastination that goes into a $25 gift card from Sears. And then there are folk like me who insist on joining TBS in the 24-hour-marathon of the greatness that is “A Christmas Story.”

You know, Scut Farkus? He’s the bully with yellow eyes … yellow eyes. So, help me God, yellow eyes! Whelp, aside from acting, his life is a paradox of his on-screen debut. And it’s kinda cool too.

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While You Were Out, UPS Sucked at Its Job

funny-ups-logoOver the holidays, you experienced the joy of Christmas. And during the festivities, you may have asked yourself several things:

1. How does a fat man slither down a chimney when I live an apartment?

2. Can I put my younger sister on Santa’s naughty list? You know, for a price?

3. Does NORAD track Santa by the heat output of Rudolph’s goofy red nose?

And possibly, the ubiquitous quizzer, “What in the red and green hell can Brown do for me?” Whelp, according to this story, not much.

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STUDY: Traditional Toys Still Rule on Christmas

christmasThe great American orator, Christmas legend and crime-fighting hero, John McClane of ‘Die Hard’ fame, once opined about technology, “As far as I’m concerned, progress peaked with frozen pizza.”

While non-Die-Hard-aficionados try to decipher the acronym in the picture provided here, you will note that many agree with Detective McClane. Even children. Wait, what?

According to this release posting from Digital Journal, and “three years’ worth of shopping data from Twenga, the UK’s most comprehensive retail search engine,” kids dig the Lego set and Lincoln Logs over something where batteries are not provided.

Yes, way.

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A Deceased Wife’s Christmas Wish — Two Years in the Making

Brenda-Schmitz-Christmas-Wish-Her-Husband-New-WifeFlacks, get your Facebook posts ready, turn up the volume and grab plenty of tissue.

This Christmas wish comes to a husband — a widower in Des Moines, Iowa named David Schmitz — from his wife (Brenda, pictured to the left) who died two years ago of ovarian cancer. Sounds strange, I know, but this story and 14-minute video is one of the most gut-wrenching, tear-inducing and Christmas-good-feeling moments you will spend this year.

Brenda wrote a letter to her best friend with directions to carry out once her husband found someone to care for their four children.

He did, she did and what is left is magic only found during the Christmas holidays.

Please, listen to Brenda Schmitz’s posthumous Christmas wish for her husband now that he has found the strength to move on, under his wife’s blessing. Amazing.

STUDY: The 2013 Cost of the ’12 Days of Christmas’ Because Inflation

Source: Emag.co.uk

Ah, yes. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

That is, until it’s time to pay those damn bills. Then, you begin to consider actually moving to the North Pole because you can get some cheap real estate up there. Why? You are about to be evicted when the IRS comes knocking. (Gotta love those audits.)

Anywho, every year around this time, PNC Wealth Management gets their 15 seconds of fame. It’s well deserved because these are the capricious and inventive folk who post the annual Christmas Price Index, otherwise known as the “Real Cost of the 12 Days of Christmas.” And yes, it went up … againRead more

THIS JUST IN: Meet the Real Pancho Claus from the South Pole

THIS JUST IN 2Just when I thought I have seen every holiday, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, Yule, Eid al Fitr, Solstice story out there, comes this one from the South Pole. You know, from the other side of the frozen tracks?

(BTW, with apologies to Megyn Kelly of FOX News and Phil Roberston of “Duck Dynasty” fame celebrating a very White Christmas, did I get everyone there?)

That’s right, kids. According to most families in high society, here is another reason to lock up doors and bar your windows during the holidays … meet Pancho Claus. Oh no, he’s very real. And you will so dig him!

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STUDY: How Much Money Would Santa Claus Make?

Santa Money

How much would this guy earn? Here’s a hint: Lo-Lo-Lo

This economy sucks. First, layaway shoppers have to stress about getting their kids’ gifts in time, unless the appropriately dubbed “Layaway Santa” shows up on his Mercedes sleigh. The price of gas is still north of $3 a gallon promising to never return to pre-apocalypse affordable rates. And now, thanks to this comprehensive study we read in CNBC, Santa is straight-up getting hosed on his salary at the North Pole!

Before the jump: Parents, you’re welcome. Now you have an out why little Johnny didn’t get that ridiculously priced XBOX ONE. Because Santa can’t afford the damn gas.

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#PRWin: ‘Layaway Santa’ Rings Up $20K for Walmart Shoppers

secret-santa-walmartAttention Walmart Shoppers: Your favorite discount store hasn’t had a slew of great news lately. In fact, you could fill one of its 18-wheeler trucks full of the bad PR they’ve collected recently.

From a food drive for its destitute hourly employees to deciding those hourly workers need to work on Thanksgiving, a lovely hashtag #WalMartFights and a disabled wrestler being banned from Walmart for life, all Walmart stories seem to suck out loud this time of the year.

The store that can’t seem to win during the holidays needed a little Christmas magic from the jolly old fat man to make positive headlines.

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Martha Stewart Takes ‘Home for the Holidays’ Literally for Her Staff

No joke. Her staff thinks she is something that rhymes with "wish." What a ho-ho-ho.

No joke. Her staff thinks she is something that rhymes with “wish.” What a ho-ho-ho.

Martha Stewart, the friend of the housewife and arch-nemesis of the blogger, is now endearing herself to another group of people — her own staff. Just in time for the holidays, Martha Stewart decided now would be a great time to place a fat pink slip in the stocking of her employees.

Yes, according to the New York Postshe fired them this close to Christmas. Now before you go off wanting to stick a Yuletide log in her grill and pray to Santa that she chokes on her craft supplies, let’s hear the woman out. She may have a rational explanation for this. Maybe.  Read more

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