This morning we enter Project Fishbowl to closely examine The Hill’s 10th Anniversary “50 Most Beautiful People List.” This year saw a few changes as they allowed White House Administration people to enter the fray in addition to political types on Capitol Hill and K Street. There’s also a dandy new layout that allows for easy viewing and flipping through the winners. Here we offer our raw reviews of the beauties – FishbowlDC style. Warning: To the easily offended (you know who you are) you might want to skip this because we won’t apologize.
In no particular order… let’s begin.
Piranhamous: Very sexy in that ‘lock you in his basement’ kind of way. Too soon?
Peter: I think I recognize this guy from my grandma’s “Shop Teachers of the Mid-Atlantic” calendar she had in 1984.
Anonymous journo: So, the West Wing was allowed on this year’s list. But who said anything about daytime TV shrinks?
Justin: Right out of GQ, obviously.
Betsy: Bald and plump with a “Magnum, P.I.” stache. Literally doesn’t get any better than this.
Piranhamous: Caught on Camera! Stephanie Green’s pearls attack curling-iron-haired cutie!!!
Peter: That necklace is made of human teeth.
Anonymous journo: Glad she listened to the flight attendant and fastened her seat belt.
Justin: The necklace scares me a bit—or a lot. But I love the smile.
Betsy: How many “cuties” can one list have? Please, STOP the usage of that word. Serious question: Can a necklace self-strangle a human being?
Piranhamous: Jai from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy proves there is life after reality TV.
Peter: They let Billy Elliot on the list! His face screams, “Bro, do you even pirouette?”
Anonymous journo: Oretga’s face never moves. Even during his daily Capitol Hill parkour workouts (involves jumping off balconies and buildings).
Justin: But did he stick the landing? I can’t pass judgment without this vital piece of information.
Betsy: Who let Pee Wee Herman on the list? Is that even appropriate?
Piranhamous: I loved his rendition of the National Anthem at the NBA Finals.
Peter: “And Emmanuel Lewis as Webster…”
Anonymous journo: Where’s the yearbook quote?
Justin: Just… no. Our society already exploits children way too much, I won’t be a part of it.
Betsy: Has someone called Child Protective Services or checked the milk cartons? This can’t be legal. Read more