The Unhappy Bride What do you do when you're the one in an
abusive relationship?
After
months of speculation, debt-ridden Primedia unloaded
one of its best-known titles, Modern Bride, to
Condé Nast. The deal landed $52 million in cash for Primedia, but, as
this "Bitch Box" contributor writes, it's been an unhappy marriage
for some of the magazine's staff.
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This week's Bitch
Box:
There's something so unbearably pathetic about
the fact that a bridal magazine would have a miserable staff. You've got all
of that, "Oh, life is just so gosh-darn lovely now that you're engaged"
vibe going into the magazine, but all of that hate and pain pouring out
of the people here. Let's just say that if there were actually jobs out
there for people to get, everyone on the masthead would be gone faster than
you can say, "I do."
It all started when we were bought. Okay — who am I kidding?
It all started when the current editor-in-chief took command. She was in over
her head from the start. And she was mean. I know, I know: Cry me a river, we
have a mean EIC. But this was different than just the normal diva-cum-editor
syndrome. This was — and is, for that matter — abuse, plain and simple.
There were the verbal lashings, the cruel firings, the racist
comments (when looking at a photo of two flower girls, one black and one white,
she said, "Like they'd ever be in the same wedding"), and day after
day of editors and designers leaving her office in tears.
But when we were sent away, it got so much worse. We were suddenly
the poor, dirty, sloppy third cousin twice-removed that had to come and live
with the distant relatives because our parents couldn't afford us anymore. (Kind
of like Fresh Prince, but not nearly as entertaining.) The pressure on
her became much more severe — and the pressure on us became unbearable.
Suddenly, it wasn't just the daily undercutting of your work you
had to worry about. She was talking about you behind your back. She was driving
our most talented editors out the door. She was lying to her bosses about her
fabulous ideas (most of which came from other people). And she was taking all
of that money from our newfound rich relatives and kept it for herself, never
giving anyone a raise or a promotion in over a year-and-a-half. (We know. That
$500-a-week clothing allowance just isn't enough, right?)
So here we are. Overworked, underpaid, bruised, battered, and
too afraid for our jobs to do anything about it. It's funny: If a bride writes
us asking what to do if her husband is abusive, we tell her to leave him immediately.
But what's to be done if we're the ones in the abusive relationship?
