Depending on who you ask, sending a cover letter for a job application is either outdated and hopelessly dumb or is the defining factor for whether you get the job. Of course, if your cover letter looks like one of the ten atrocious ones below, you’ll probably agree with those who hold the former opinion.

I’ve been collecting my favorite examples of egregious cover letters for years. From simple yet unfortunate typos to bigger issues, these ten, culled from the Web and from applications I’ve received, are among the worst of the worst.

#10: I sh*t you not
I’m looking for work because even though my company was profitable last year, this year they are expecting a large defecate.

Sent to ad agency Killian Branding, this line underscores why you should never rely on spell-check to proofread your letters. Have a friend look over your work before you send it off.

#9: I prefer oysters, myself
Other skills I’ve learned are, being a proficient multi-tasker, handling detailed oriented documents with care, handling stressful situations with a clam demeanor, and joggling different projects with time management.

Another lesson for would-be hires: TELLING about your skills is much less effective than showing them. In this case, this supposedly detail-oriented applicant made at least four mistakes in one sentence, depending on how you count, undermining his or her own claims. (Source)

#8: This was for a job that specifically said the hire must be based in Washington, D.C.
My name is [redacted] and I was hoping I could still submit and work remotely, as I never lived or be in DC. Please look at my resume and accomplishments to see that I have excellent expertise working on my own with no supervision.

While some say you may have nothing to lose by applying when you clearly don’t meet the most basic qualifications of skills, experience, or in this case geography, you also have very little to gain by ignoring explicit instructions. This letter came in for a job I posted and went straight into the trash.

#7: Same job, different applicant.
Hello from California…

Are you even reading the ad?

#6: Is this a job application or a romance novel?
Taking notes and pictures on the floor of the Senate Finance Committee boardroom with an H&M skirt daintily covering my folded legs. This is Tim Geithner’s third testimony on the Hill this week alone, and his eyes dart around the room more than usual… It is at this moment I realize that reporting and I were meant to be. He has had his practice, I have had mine — and it all comes down to this moment.

From our friends at FishbowlDC…I have no words.

Read more

As recruiters interview numerous candidates for a job, sometimes they hear redundancy as well as faux pas. Well, your friends here at MJD are nudging you to please don’t become that guy or gal.

According to a piece on Fortune, there are several ways to show a possible employer you an contribute to their organization. In doing so, please promise you’ll tweak the following statements.

“I am interested in everything this company does.” Really? Everything? The piece points out that hiring managers are looking for someone who is passionate for a specific role. Saying you’re interested in everything may come across as — gasp — desperate. Read more

Meeting someone with the right connections to give you a shot at an interview can be both exciting and nerve-racking. For the latest Mediabistro feature, industry professionals explain how any job seeker can win over a prospective employer on the fly.

Tip No. 2: Start with the Relationship, Not the Resume

Remember, networking is about creating a connection, not making a hard sell. “Focus first on building the relationship with the executive. It’s important to make a connection before asking for anything,” said Kent Lee, career consultant for Yahoo! and CEO of Perfect Resume. “This can be done by simply asking questions that show a general interest and enthusiasm in the executive’s company.”

Read more in Networking 102: How to Turn a Chance Meeting Into a Career Opportunity

– Nick Braun

This blog post serves as a reminder to retain your power during an interview.

Seriously.

As much as the employer is interviewing you, it’s your job to interview them. Observe, ask questions and take mental notes.

The Work Buzz outlined three red flags during an interview and we couldn’t agree with them more.

1. Hints of high turnover. Ask about the history of the job you’re applying for as well as the employees who previously worked in the role. Is it a newly created position due to growth? Did someone get promoted or resign?

Or are they hiring a new person because the former person bailed after only being there for six months? If there’s a pattern of high turnover, put on that journalism cap and ask about the workload, too. It’s possible the position is a one-way road to burn out. Read more

After a lengthy job interview, you may realize that you forgot to ask one little question. You know, the one about next steps.

Well, our friends at CAREEREALISM pointed out a few ways to effectively follow up post-interview. There’s a fine line to dance between being overly aggressive and assertive; the key is maintaining your tact and professionalism without becoming overbearing.

1. Ask about next steps. After all, who wants to be left in limbo? As pointed out in their post, “One way to hedge against this is to get a verbal commitment as to the next steps. If the company says they will contact you no later than next Wednesday – you know you can safely follow up on Thursday if you have not heard back from them.” Read more

We have a heavy heart here on Tuesday morning, the day after the horrific attack in Boston.

Sadly, tragedy always manages to put things in perspective so in comparison to the fragility of life, the job hunt doesn’t seem so heavy or monumental.

This just in from Indeed.com….apparently new data shows that job seekers use their mobile devices to find work on Tuesday nights more than any other time of the week.

The Web site’s mobile traffic has more than doubled over the past year; in fact, its mobile searches account for about one-third of all users.

It looks like there’s a disconnect since many employers have sites which are easy to navigate by mobile visitors but the sites are not user-friendly to actually apply via the mobile device.

Although the press release pointed toward employers ensuring their sites have capability for mobile users, we found the evening factor interesting since that’s when job searching spikes with mobile users, especially on Tuesdays. That is all for now. Carry on…

Ah, it’s getting to be that time of year again. As college students earn their coveted diplomas that only means one thing: The jobless are likely to return to the nest better known as their parents’ house.

Ford R. Myers, author of Get the Job You Want, Even When No One’s Hiring, explained, “Many of today’s new college graduates have never set foot in their school’s career guidance office or held an internship, nor do they know how to find employment. It is now up to parents to share the real truths about finding a job in today’s tenuous employment climate.”

As the parent morphs into pseudo career coach, Myers said there are a few things to tell your college grad to succeed.

1.  The most qualified job candidate doesn’t necessarily get the job. Should the most qualified candidate always get the job? Absolutely. Does it always happen? Um, not really. Sometimes the candidate who lands the job is actually the savvier marketer, the stronger self-promoter and better networker. He or she’s able to convince the employer how to add value and fill their needs.

2.  Research your way to success. Myers pointed out the importance of paying attention to local, regional and national sources of business intelligence. He indicated, “Study everything you can about the companies you’re most interested in. Learn to frame your ideas and value in terms that are relevant to the current business and economic landscape.”

3.  An employer’s initial offer is never the best offer. “You might be tempted to take any job offer in a tight economy, yet employers expect that you’ve done your salary research and they anticipate having dynamic negotiations with you,” he explained. “In fact, if you don’t negotiate, the employer will likely be disappointed in you as a candidate.”

Why disappoint them? Get ready to flex those negotiation skills. The worst they can do is say no but you’ll never know if you don’t ask.

With competition as fierce as it is in the job market, finding work in the media biz, let alone in the fiercely competitive advertising world, can seem like an exercise in futility. So, how does someone with solid writing chops but no real ad experience break in?

As much as connections play a role in any field, most ad industry experts agree that your portfolio is always the focal point during the selection process. “Portfolios are the No. 1 must have for ad peeps,” said Allie Freeland, PR director at iAcquire, a digital marketing agency based in Phoenix and New York. “You can talk the talk, but you have to walk the walk with specific examples of your writing, design and media placements.”

Get more tips in How to Get a Job in Advertising [Mediabistro AvantGuild subscription required]

– Nicholas Braun

The full version of this article is exclusively available to Mediabistro AvantGuild subscribers. If you’re not a member yet, register now for as little as $55 a year for access to hundreds of articles like this one, discounts on Mediabistro seminars and workshops, and all sorts of other bonuses.

Want to Google something? Go ahead and type “lying on.”

As for the very first word to appear? That would be “resume.”

Believe it or not, people frequently lie on their resumes. As in a lot. We won’t get into the startling stats; the whole take-away here underscores the importance of being honest on that CV. Whether people stretch a date or blatantly lie about a degree they never earned, none of it leads to anything good. In fact, Marquet International, a security consulting firm, compiled a list of the most common lies.

People in the resume liars club have forged any or all of the following:

1. Stretching employment dates.
2. Inflating past accomplishments and skills.
3. Enhancing job titles and responsibilities.
4. Exaggerating educational background to the tune of degrees that haven’t been earned.
5. Inventing periods of unexplained gaps.
6. Omitting past employment altogether.
7. Faking credentials.
8. Falsifying reasons for leaving prior employment.
9. Providing false references.
10. Misrepresenting a military record. Read more

Sponsored by the U.S. Department of Labor’s Employment and Training Administration, CareerOneStop is essentially a new Web site. It’s a virtual business center aimed at “hiring, training and retaining a strong workforce.”

The site looks like it’s geared toward hiring managers but we discovered their list of illegal interview questions and figured it’s worth noting.

While hiring managers need to be schooled on what’s appropriate, job seekers (especially those new to the game such as college grads) also need to know what they simply don’t need to answer. And sometimes it may be a bit unclear. For instance, employers are not allowed to ask if you are a U.S. citizen but they may inquire if you are authorized to work in the U.S. Read more