Ever wondered whether a velociraptor or triceratops would win in a fight? Yeah, us too—but how about a velocireporter versus the Webmagasaurus Rex? Matt Pressman at Vanity Fair rated news organizations’ chances of survival by category, rather than by market share or size. Which is a great idea in theory. Turns out that Pressman thinks Politico, TPM and other hard-news, online-only outfits are likely to live on, while HuffPo and The Daily Beast (excuse me, the “Buzzceratops”) are more in jeopardy.

Just ignore the cutesy nicknames and go read the piece.